Bittersweet Memories
by island girl 1986
Summary: Lily was once a rich girl from California. In one night, her life was changed drastically enough to break her spirit down. Now she must leave behind the girl she use to know and become the woman she needs to be in order to survive in this new world.
1. Angel of Death

**A/N: I do not claim the rights to any of the characters to the Southern Vampire Mysteries or True Blood. **

**Read, review, and enjoy! ^-^ Thanks a bunch!**

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I never imagined years ago, I would know the exact moment that I was about to die. But the part that scared me the most was _waiting_ to die. I knew it was coming, it was just a matter of time. I was only twenty two, I was much too young to die. I knew I wasn't ready, not yet.

Here I was, in my parent's Villa in Las Vegas, bleeding to death. I knew deep down that it was a mistake to let _him _in. You'd think that after so many failed relationships that I would know better. Oh hell, you would think that I would at least be able to differ a Mr. Wrong from a Mr. Right right? You would think that maybe, after all this time, maybe, just maybe, I would finally learn from my mistakes and change paths. Of course, that was asking too much from me.

I guess I deserve what's coming for all the shit I did. I've put my father through hell and back. Shopping trips, getaways, homes, cars, you name it, I got it. I didn't have to work, why should I when daddy promised he would take care of me. Daddy spoiled me rotten, not only because he loved me but because I was his only child. Sometimes I think he loved me more than my own mother.

_But who could blame him?_

And my mom, she couldn't give a shit about me even if I was her last hope. I don't want to sound like a whining little rich girl but its true. The reason why I'm an only child was because her looks and body were more important to her than family. She blamed me for her bigger hips, her bleach blond hair, and well, just about everything that went wrong in her life.

_I guess I really do ruin everything. I'm truly the walking plague._

Then there's my two best friends in the whole wide world. Isabelle and Amethyst. For all the years that I've known them, they were always true friends. They were always there for me through the good times and the bad. And when I say bad, I'm actually referring to when my mom went through her temper tantrums with me.

_Man I hate those days._

But sadly, I can't say the same about me. I've never been there for them when they needed me the most. Oh hell, if it didn't benefit me, I ditched. I even stole their boyfriends to top it off. But Amy doesn't know that part, I managed to keep that part out when I confessed to her about her 'so called ex' Jimmy.

I was always such a bitch. Probably always will be. I am my mother's daughter after all.

* * *

"Lily…" I heard a male call out to me, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Am I dead yet?" I asked, terrified.

I knew I was on the brink of death but dying scared me more than anything. I never seen myself growing old, maybe I get that from my mom, but I believed in my heart that I was going to die young. I got it in my head when I was about fourteen, I insisted that I was going to die young. I just knew it.

But never have I imagined dying like this, alone.

"I can help you." he said.

"Are you an angel?" I asked slowly.

It hurt too much to talk.

His laughter grazed the halls, "Yes…"

I shook my head in disbelief.

_He couldn't possibly be an angel. _I thought to myself as I tried my best to focus on where the male voice was coming from.

It was hard to make out the figure standing at the door. The guy managed to break every lamp in my home. Why? I don't know. Maybe he did it in the hopes that it wouldn't attract any attention but I guess he was wrong because here I was with the presence of a stranger.

I tried to move but found out I couldn't. I don't think I could even move my legs. I thought about it and came to the conclusion that I couldn't feel my legs period.

_I'm fucked._

"Well you're too damn late." I told him as I turned my head.

Although it was dark, I could see from where I laid that I was in a puddle of, I'm guessing, is my blood.

"Is that what you think?" he asked, holding open the front door. "You think that I was suppose to save you from that man?"

I shrugged. _Some angel you are. _"No." I guess I didn't deserve that much.

"I cannot enter unless you invite me in." he smiled. "By the looks of things, a few minutes ago, you were in no position to let me into your home even if you actually wanted to. I could've helped you."

Although my torso ached with pain, my head throbbed, I managed to shed a tear or two. I thought about how I could've avoided all of this if I knew he was there.

Everything was so fresh in my mind, all I wanted to do was cry. I wanted to ball out and scream until I cried myself to sleep. But I knew crying wouldn't solve a thing. It would just leave me weakened.

_Its too late for regrets. What's done is done._

I didn't really see the point in being polite but maybe if I was nicer to this guy, maybe he could help me. Call an ambulance or something. Anything. But then again, by the time help arrived, I would already be dead. Of course, that's if he doesn't finish the job.

_What more harm could he do that the other guy didn't already do?_

"Well, would you please come in?" I offered.

The moment I spoke those words, I felt a cool breeze next to me. "I can save you. And when I do, I can help you seek revenge on the man who did this to you."

I wanted to laugh so badly. But I knew that if it hurt to cry, then it would hurt even more to laugh.

"What kind of angel are you? Why would you do that for me?"

"Because you remind me of someone that I couldn't save. She didn't have a chance unlike you." he growled, "She wasn't a fighter."

"Oh and I am?" I asked him slowly.

I didn't feel much like a fighter. I didn't even feel like a survivor. More like a soon to be corpse.

_The moment he wrapped his hands around my throat was the moment I knew things had just taken a turn for the worse. I felt as if my lungs were going to explode. Before I knew it, he tossed me onto the sofa as if I was nothing more than a rag doll. With little oxygen to my brain, I was barely functioning, I couldn't think straight or absorb what was about to happen. _

"_You toy with men, you stupid rich girl. I will show you what happens when you fuck with me!" he yelled as he held my mother's fertility statue, which then collided with my head. _

"Yes, and with my lessons, you will be much stronger and much faster than any man." he told me with a grin. "You'll be able to move swiftly enough without him even noticing." he paused, kneeling to my side. "And no longer will you be at the mercy of any man." he frowned. "I can change all this."

"Can you turn back the hands of time as well? Can you take all this away?" I asked, tears filling my eyes.

"No, but I can stop the pain. I can give you life."

_Life? _I thought to myself. _Well, its not like I have many options left. I'm practically dead. If I'm not dead, then I'm most definitely dying._

And the moment I nodded was the moment I would start my new life.

Within his mouth, he took my life and from his mouth, he gave me a new one. Everything flashed before my eyes, my father, friends, and…my son.


	2. Buried Alive

**A/N: Finally the second chapter is done! Yay! **

**Semi Spoiler Alert - If I'm correct, Charlaine Harris hasn't mentioned how old Victor Madden really is or where he came from. In fact, she barely mentions him. So I decided to makeshift with what I read and added something of my own. But if anyone knows how old he is or suppose to be, including any info as far as his background goes, please, feel free to share your inquiry with me...**

**I do not claim the rights to any of the characters from the Southern Vampire Mysteries or True Blood. Read, review, & enjoy! ^-^  
**

**Now, without further adieu...  
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Past:**

Growing up in a house where your mother is never around and your father is always working, that will make your credit card your babysitter and the help, your parents.

My father would lavish me with gifts and money to make up for the love my mother refuse to give me and to fill the empty space where he was suppose to be. I know, it sounds tragic and at times pathetic but after many years, you pretty much get use to it.

Oh but don't get me wrong, he isn't as bad as it may seem. At least when he has his days off, he chooses to spend it with me. We would go out for dinner, maybe a movie, or sometimes both. Or we would take family vacations, just the two of us because mother never wants to be around us, or maybe just me.

But things weren't always like this. Between my parents, I mean. At one point in their lives, they were actually happy. Sublimely happy. Long before I came along.

My parents fell in love at a very young age. My dad, a rich boy from the valley and my mom, a middle class beauty. Every guy wanted her, every girl wanted to be her, but only one man caught her devoted attention.

Back then, before she had me, she was a natural blond. The girls envied her because of her natural beauty. And because of that, she use to get into fights, many would pick on her. Then at school, she was an outcast. Imagine that, being that beautiful, an outcast.

_I know I can't, I mean I am literally the splitting image of my mother, but taller and with daddy's blue eyes._

But when daddy stepped in, everything changed, the envy got worse (of course) but now she was untouchable because she was _his. _If anyone dared to go against a Montgomery (which no one did) they were literally never heard of again.

My father's family is nowhere near being apart of the Mafia, but the way things are handled, they might as well be. I'm just saying, that's how much money they have, enough to run everyone who done them wrong out of town. The only one they couldn't chase out was my mother.

My grandparents from either side didn't approve of their romance for several reasons. Her parents didn't like the fact that she was only sixteen and my dad was twenty two. Then there was the whole poor girl trying to get her hands on daddy's money, blah, blah, blah.

From what I heard and from what I saw in the old photo albums, their love was genuine. Their love was pure, young and true. At least until I was born four years later. But I knew for a fact, their love could never be tainted with money.

_They had the kind of love I wish I knew._

I don't remember my grandparents on my father's side much because they both died when I was only three. My grandfather passed away first, leaving my grandmother to mourn. Daddy said that grandma died from heartbreak.

I think that if you truly were in love like my grandparents, then it is possible to die from heartbreak. If I thought my parents were in love, then I couldn't measure the amount of love my grandparents shared.

My mother's parents are much like how my parents are now and yet the total opposite from my father's parents. My mom has never been accepted in their eyes, even to this day. When we are invited to their home, 'we' is just me and dad, mom always finds a reason not to go. I don't remember ever seeing her in the same room as them. That's how messed up my family is.

_Every family has issues, mine just takes the cake._

_

* * *

_

I was only seven when we moved from Los Angeles to San Francisco. Daddy didn't want my mother's parents to use us against their own daughter anymore. Mother has been with war with them for years. So he figured moving us out of that city and into the next might help. The distance he created had an invisible barrier, protecting mother as if she's his delicate flower.

_Yeah right._

Of course I protested constantly because I had friends and my grandparents were my family too. But that didn't make any difference.

I was stuck here whether I liked it or not. And this was something I couldn't talk my way out of.

"Lily Montgomery, you will make new friends. Just give this city a chance." he told me on my way to _public school!_

"Will I make new grandparents too?" I asked, slouched against the backseat of his Mercedes. "This isn't fair at all daddy. And why do I have to go to this public school? That is just mean!"

He sighed. "Lily Montgomery, this isn't a public school. Convent of the Sacred Heart is by all means, no public school. It's a private school specifically for young girls such as yourself."

"I am going to die of boredom!"

He laughed. "Why, because you won't be sharing your classroom with boys?"

I decided that I won't answer that. Instead, I gave him the silent treatment and ignored him.

"Lily, I'm doing this for you. Your mother had a hard time in school when she was not much older than you. And to be honest, sweetheart, you are the splitting image of your mother. I don't want to see the girls give you a hard time just because they are trying to compete against you for some boy's attention." he sighed. "Your education matters more to me than anything."

I looked up, "More than me?"

"Never." he glanced back through the rear view mirror, "You matter more to me than anything in this world."

I couldn't help but smile. "Fine, I'll try to like it here." I told him. "For you daddy, I'm doing this for you."

_Who would think that eventually that city would end up growing on me my first day in school. _

That ended up being the day that I met two of the most amazing friends a girl could only wish for, Amethyst and Isabelle. We were literally inseparable, doing everything together. They were the sisters I never had. _My girlfriends for life._

_

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_

**Present:**

_I'm buried alive!_ I thought to myself as I began to dig my way out.

Waking up in the ground was the most scary thing I could ever imagine. Being there in the cold earth reminded me much like the old days when people were actually buried alive. Then when the graves were dug up, you would find scratches on the roof of the coffin doors.

_What the fuck happened to me?_

I knew something about me was really off. I didn't feel the urge to take a breath. And when I stayed still, my insides felt empty. I couldn't even feel my own heart beating. But here I was alive and _hungry._

"Its about damn time." I heard someone say as I crawled out from the ground.

Naturally, I would be screaming at the top of my lungs, but for some reason, I wasn't. I know I'm dead, there are things you just know. But the problem was, I didn't know where I was. Maybe stuck in between.

_What do they call that place? Limbo?_

I looked down at my clothes and saw blood stained on my brand new Versace dress, well it use to be new. Now its trash.

_Fuck! I am so going to kill the punk who messed up my dress! Does anyone know how much this cost? I could feed a small country with it! Ugh!_

I didn't even want to know what my hair looked like. This was really my own fucking nightmare. And I believe I'm actually living it.

"Who are you?" I asked, hesitant about the unfamiliar stranger.

"I am Victor Madden, your maker." he said, being a little too proud of himself.

Victor was leaning against the tree with his back against the trunk and one leg up. He was wearing a black trench style coat, black pants, and a purple button up shirt with a vest that was a darker shade of plum.

_He got sort of an vintage style to him. Not bad._ I thought as I realized how well I could actually see in the dark.

I haven't been around too many Italian men but Victor would pass as a descendent of that lineage with his dark hair and dark eyes. Not too sure about that almost pale skin though.

_He's quite attractive but kind of…creepy._

"Did you do this to me? Did you bring me here?" I asked.

He grinned, "Your memory might be a bit fuzzy for the first few days because you experienced some trauma right before turning, but that will change. You will remember everything very soon and when you do…" he said pausing. "…you can never return home."

I wasn't sure if he was joking or what. Maybe I was kidnapped and being held for ransom. Whatever the case, I wasn't about to stick around any longer than I need to.

"I don't know what you're on, but you sound like you might need help." I thought about it. "Maybe professional help."

He watched me with that eerie grin again. "We'll see who'll needs help by the end of the night." he said, straightening up from the tree. "That's if your instincts kick in before sunrise."

"Sunrise?"

"Here's a little tip for you, my baby vamp, find cover, doesn't matter where, just make sure you do before the sun rises. If you're out here when the sun's rays touches your skin, you're literally toast."

I couldn't help but laugh. This was a joke! Wow, this guy has jokes. Not saying this is actually humor type jokes, but that's a ridiculous story. He deserve props for creating such an elaborate story.

_I'm being Punk'd aren't I? _I thought to myself as I began walking the opposite way.

I glanced back to see if he was still standing under the tree. But before I could retort to his last statement, he was gone, disappearing into the night.

_The only creatures that can't stand the sunlight are vampires…_

I stopped dead in my tracks. I thought about it for a second and laughed.

_Impossible._

_

* * *

_

I recognized this area. In fact, the cemetery I had just walked out from is the memorial park of the Davis Funeral Home. I only know this because a few months earlier, my dad's friend was buried in this very cemetery.

_Eew, what if I was right next to his decomposing body? _I shuddered at the thought.

While I was walking along side the road, an oncoming truck pulled into the shoulder lane and stuck his head out from the car window.

"Hey, you okay? You need a ride or something?" he yelled to me as I was beginning to approach him.

"I was actually going to the corner store down the street to call my dad." I told him, nodding ahead of me.

"I have a phone that you could use. I can take you anywhere you want to go." he said immediately. "That's if you want to."

I looked down at myself.

_He couldn't possibly want to harm me. I already look like shit. Maybe he's just being a good Samaritan._

"Okay I guess." I said as I climbed into his truck.

My dad always told me to never get in the car with a stranger. But that was back when I was a kid. I'm twenty two years old now, definitely too old to be kidnapped.

As he pulled into traffic, he turned to me. "What brings you out this time of night?" he asked.

"It's a long story."

What I really wanted to say was that I didn't know myself. The furthest I can remember was waking up, deeply buried in the cold and wet earth. I could barely remember my name, where I lived, who my parents were but when I tried to think back as to how the hell I ended up in the cemetery to begin with, it was all a blur.

He laughed softly. "Its not everyday that I pick up strange women. But by the looks of things, you sure look like you needed my help." he told me.

He looked about twenty something, almost thirty. I take it by the length of his limbs, he wasn't very tall, maybe my height, with brown hair and dark colored eyes. He seemed a little too sweet for his own good.

"My grandmother told me that if you offer a hand to those in need of them, you will, in return, mark your way in the book of life."

As I listened to what he was saying, I noticed how I could also hear his heart beat. I cocked my head to the side and watched him, fascinated and wondered if he could hear it too._ Of course, he couldn't. _My eyes, then wondered from his mouth to his neck. His vein was pulsing in a way I have never seen before. It was as if it was calling out to me.

"Are you still here with me?" he asked, turning to face me.

"I'm sorry."

"I asked you where did you want me to drop you off."

"Oh, sorry, I just sort of…" I glanced back to his throbbing throat and licked my lips. "…got distracted."

Suddenly, I could hear his heartbeat quicken as he released a nervous laugh.

I began to feel the urge to fuck him. The feeling itself is hard to explain because I've never been this _horny_ before. I mean when I say horny, I mean fucking the entire Million Man March horny (the amount of guys is what I'm actually referring to). And to top off this lustful urge, I was hungry, really hungry. I'm hungry enough to eat the whole cow, or two.

"That's alright. You've had a rough night."

I scooted closer to him and brushed my hand over his arm as I peered into his eyes. "Where do you live?" I asked seductively.

I was always a flirt, a tease. So naturally, this was like a second skin to me.

_Naturally._

"I live on Rochelle." he told me instantly.

"Do you have a family?"

I could feel an influence over him. Have you ever conned someone into believing something that wasn't true? Much like how parents tell their children to behave otherwise Santa won't give them presents? But really, there is no Santa Fucking Claus.

Well, for some reason or the other, I could do this to him. I can have him eating out of the palms of my hands and surprisingly, I would enjoy every fucking minute of it.

He shook his head. "Just my grandmother but she's in a old folk home."

"What about a brother?"

"A sister. She helps take care of our grandmother."

"Can we go to your place then? I mean if you're not expecting company of course."

"Sure." he said, pulling onto the next road.

* * *

The second he pulled into his garage, was the moment I attacked him. I couldn't hold myself back any longer. My hunger was driving me insane. I felt something switch on in my brain and I began tearing him apart as I bit into the side of his neck. His blood and insides covered the windows as I fed from him.

But, much to my surprise, he didn't make a sound. He didn't cry, he didn't yell, he didn't even bother fighting back. He just sat there, in a trance like state as I literally ate him alive.

It took a minute before I realized what I had just done. Shocked and frightened, I stumbled out of the truck and backed away shaking my head.

_What the fuck am I?_

"You're a vampire." a familiar voice had said.

I turned around to see the man from the cemetery leaning against the wall as he peered in.

"No, no, no." I freaked. "This can't be happening to me. I have to be dreaming. This isn't real, this isn't real." I cried as I collapsed to the ground, hugging myself.

_This will all go away. I'm going to wake up in bed with my Louis Vuitton sheets._

He closed his eyes. "No matter how much times you say it, that won't make it true."

I looked up, "You did this to me didn't you?" I said, feeling anger growing deep inside. "You turned me into one you!"

"You were dying."

"No fucking way! You planned it all! You wanted me dead, just like you!" I yelled as the previous scene rewind back in my head of me eating like a wild animal.

I was beginning to feel sick. I could feel everything that I had just ate about to come right back out. This whole thing was grossing me out by the minute.

Before I could stop myself, I emptied my stomach onto the garage floor. I braced myself, as I continued to regurgitate.

"Wow. Never in my life have I ever seen a vampire do such a thing." he laughed, "I didn't know it was possible."

"Oh this is so disgusting!" I screamed as I managed to get back onto my feet.

At my feet was my bloody vomit. Large chunks of what could be mistaken as raw meat.

_No mistake, that is raw meat. Raw human meat!_

"So what, are you going to starve yourself?"

I hesitated. "Yes."

He watched me carefully. "You could barely contain yourself minutes ago. What makes you think that you could manage that for all eternity?" he waited for my response. "That's what I thought. If you give me a chance, I could help you. I can teach you all that I know. And eventually you will find that the blood is actually quite delectable."

I grunted, "Delectable? That was no five course meal and honey, I've had better."

"Have you ever tasted Fae blood?"

"Excuse me?"

He smiled, "I almost forgot that you've only been a vampire for less than an hour now." he sighed. "Fairy blood is the richest blood a vampire could drink. Virgin blood is almost as delicious. But not as satisfying."

"Fairy? Like the Tooth Fairy or like Tink?"

He cocked an eyebrow, "You have a lot to learn my child."

_Child? Who the hell is he calling a child? He is probably what, about thirty or so?_

"I am actually a little over five hundred years old. I was turned just before my twenty seventh birthday."

_He can read minds?_

"Just yours. I'm guessing it's a bond between a maker and his progeny. Something I could never bring myself to do until last night. But if you give yourself a chance, you could probably read mines too." he said, taking a step closer. "Come, I won't hurt you." he told me, reaching out for my hand. "I promise."

Lets say that I believe him for a minute. I didn't really know him therefore, I didn't really trust him. Its not everyday you wake up in a grave without the knowledge of how you got there to begin with.

"Can I leave whenever I want?" I asked. "Like, I don't have to stay with you."

"Lets take this one step at a time." he sighed as he continued to extend his hand to me. "But the first step is to get you cleaned."

_You try being lost, abandoned, and starving. _I thought to myself as I took a hold oh his hand.

"I was. With no one to show me the way." He said, helping me up, grinning like it was Christmas morning. "Like I told you once before, with my lessons, you will be much stronger and much faster than any man."

I turned to look at him, "Even you?"

He laughed softly. "Never. I made you, therefore my blood flows through your veins. I'm the reason you're standing here, right now."

I loosened my grip on his hand and linked my arm with his. It was weird for me because I suddenly felt safe with him. I felt as if he really was here as my guide or guardian only meant to teach.

"You were saying?" I asked, childlike.

"Yes, as I was saying, in time, you won't be at the mercy of any man."

"Except you."

"Except me." he said pausing to open the gate for me. Then as we walked along side the road he glanced down, "What you're feeling right now is my influence on you. Since we are bonded by more than my blood, I can influence you, calm you."

_Well that would explain the reason why I'm no longer feeling hysterical. A minute ago, I thought I was going bonkers. _

"Can you satisfy my hunger as well? Or is feeding off a vampire like cannibalism?"

He laughed. "I don't think its cannibalism. But most of the time during the blood exchange, that is usually done during sex."

I gulped. "Isn't that like incest? I mean, technically, aren't you my vampire father?"

"Maker yes, teacher, obviously. But father? Not so much in the term as you're thinking." he grinned. "So if and when we fuck, it will simply be an act between a man and a woman."

Under normal circumstances, I would've been turned off at how he decided to approach the question. But then again, this isn't your normal circumstances. So, me being hungry, and surprisingly horny, the way he spoke his words turned me on like a hot summer's night.

"Another night my sweet child." he told me.

Obviously he could read my thoughts. And if we were connected the way he says we are, then surely he can feel the urge that I'm feeling at this very moment.

"I'm sorry. I can't help it."

"Its all apart of being a vampire. Some things you just can't help. You'll figure it out along the way."

"With your help of course."

"Yes." he smiled down at me. "With my help."


	3. Baby Vamp

**A/N: Okay, okay, okay, I know I promised that I would at least finish this chapter and post it at least by this week but honestly, I guess I wasn't expecting to be this busy. I mean with everything that's going on, I know its been like hella long since I last updated and I am truly sorry but honestly, I wasn't expecting life to take a detour (aka a death in the family). But I really feel awful not putting in time to finish this chapter. **

**So...just to keep you all semi happy, I figured that I at least owed you this..._at least. _Now this chapter isn't finished _yet_. But I swear, when I return from my short trip, I will finish this chapter. Again, I really am sorry for posting this sort of a teaser but I will finish this! I swear!**

**Now without further adieu...I do not own the rights to any of the characters from the Southern Vampire Mysteries or True Blood. **

**Read, review, & enjoy! ^-^***

* * *

"This is so stupid! How the hell am I suppose to know when to stop feeding?" I grunted as I shoved the limp woman off of my lap.

Victor smiled. "When you feed, you can feel the warmth of her blood, the pulse in her flow, no?" I just nodded. "If you listen, you can also hear her heart beat beginning to slow as well." he took in a breath. "You can feel her rhythm in your mouth…the thump."

"But this is only when I want to keep my meal on wheels right?"

_Like I'm suppose to pay attention to all of that? Do you know how hard that is?_

"Lily, we are not savages. If us vampires fed on the entire human race, leaving none alive, we will be marking our own death and eventually causing extinction to our very own existence." he sighed, picking up the woman and tossing the lifeless body into the furthest corner of the room. "You can't kill all the humans. You must keep most of them alive if not all. _And_…when you get better at it, humans will be dropping like flies simply because it is a honor to be your course for the evening."

I hated when he was right. Its been almost three months now and I still haven't gotten some of these things down. I'm very competitive and having such a disadvantage was vexing me out more than anything.

Glamour was naturally my first skin simply because I've had that hold on men almost all my life, manipulating them to do what I want. When you have these idiots eating out of the palm of your hand, you know you've won. Its quite addicting, actually.

Then hunting for meals came to me almost as easy. I guess some of my vampire instincts just kicks in. But it truly is a cat and mouse game. I learned how to be swift and silent as the moon.

Ugh, but feeding was a pain in the ass only because Victor didn't think it was necessary for me to kill my prey.

"Fine. I'll try harder next time." I half lied.

I only said that because like any child, they want to please their parents. Except in my case, he wasn't my father (biologically) and I also wanted to please him in ways only a woman knows how.

_But_…he refuses.

"You are my child, I know you will master this in no time." he told me, grinning from ear to ear as he took a seat next to me. "You've caught onto many things that not even I could manage at your young age."

I don't know much about who Victor was before he was turned vampire or where he has come from. He hasn't shared that part of his life with me. But then again, who could blame him? He didn't know me and I didn't know him. We were like two strangers in Starbucks.

_I would kill to have a Vanilla Latte, nonfat milk, with a double shot of espresso. _I smiled to myself. _Oh wait, I did, kill I mean._

"Why don't you talk about your past much?" I asked him softly as I gazed into his eyes.

Maybe I was hoping that he would give in, _finally._

"Because you haven't quite remembered yours yet." he said, eyes dropping to my hands.

_And I strike out…again._

Yep, that was just wishful thinking._  
_

I tried my hardest to remember what happened to me within the last hours of my human death, but it seemed to me like the harder I tried, the harder it was for me to remember. And when I wasn't focused on trying to remember, I would receive glimpses here and there. But never enough to piece together this puzzle.

"Well why can't you tell me what happened?" I pouted, crossing my arms under my breasts. "You were there, weren't you? Or after, whatever. But why can't you tell me?"

He watched me carefully, "We went over this already. Your mind will remember when its ready. You'll remember when you can handle the truth mentally."

"Oh my god, you speak as if my mind has a…" _Fuck, what is that word? _"…a mind of its own." _If that even makes sense. _"Ugh! Well, you know what I mean!" I stood up, frustrated. "You won't tell me about my recent past. You won't share yours with me. You won't let me eat what I want, when I want." I huffed. "This whole vampire thing is beginning to be a real bummer!" I screamed as I kicked the coffee table. "And to top all of this off, I am so effing _horny_! And you won't even-"

He smiled, a truly genuine smile. "I told you that you're more than welcome to fuck any man you want." he paused. "Or woman. Which ever you prefer."

I rolled my eyes as I collapsed on the arm chair nearest to me, very much defeated.

"Am I really that ugly? Or unattractive?"

Victor leaned back into the chair, "You know, for a vampire, you have quite a low self esteem." he thought a moment before continuing. "Some traits as humans carry on into our vampire lives. I wonder if underneath that glamorous exterior was really a little girl crying out for help."

"Jeez Louise! What are you? Like my therapist or something?" I closed my eyes, "I only asked you that because you won't touch me. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't touch me not even with a ten foot pole."

He laughed. "I could always use a broom."

I sat up quickly as my eyes fluttered open, "Was that suppose to be funny?"

"Yes, it is." he told me. Then he immediately changed the subject. "I have to leave for the remaining evening. There is some business I must see to. Please, whatever you do, try to stay out of trouble."

_When did I ever get into trouble?_

_

* * *

_

Alright, alright, alright. I'm not an angel, oh no, I'm a vampire. And under these circumstances, a very bored vampire.

Victor leaves almost every night to run some _errands_. He runs _errands_ at all hours of the night. And when his phone rings, it only means one thing, he has something to do. And when I say something, I mean his _errands_.

_Ugh!_

I asked him once what kind of errands did he have to do, maybe I could help. He turned around and told me these type of errands don't require my presence, therefore it is none of my concern. Then he left, without not even a goodbye. Just _poof._

_So_…tonight, of all nights, I decided to follow him. I made sure that I kept quite a distance between him and me. I didn't want him to know I was following otherwise he would be very angry with me.

There was a man, shorter than Victor and a woman slightly taller than the man that stood next to her. That couple, if they were, seemed to me the total opposites. She's tall, he's not. She has blond hair, he has dark hair. She's gorgeous and well, he's blah. I'm pretty sure you get the picture.

Why they chose to have this conversation out in the open, I wouldn't know. And of all places? The field in the back of James Cashman Middle School.

But then again, if I was a top secret vampire, I wouldn't expect a meeting to take place on school grounds of the human children. It would take place in the VIP section at a nightclub or something.

"The capture of the Warrior has made you a very rich man Victor. I do hope that you spend it wisely."

"Yes my King."

_King? Since when do we have Kings and Queens in America?_ I looked around. _I'm still in America right?_

"We will be hosting a match tomorrow evening with the warrior being the main event."

"Queen Sophie Anne will be joining us as well." the tall woman said. "I do hope that you will be able to attend." she glanced at the man next to her and smiled. "Bring your lady friend as well."

_What lady friend?_

"Queen Sophie Anne will be bringing along the minion that captured the Warrior." the _King_ said. "This should be interesting."

"Is there anything that I should be concerned with?" Victor asked. "The Queen didn't invite herself did she?"

"Oh no. She claims she's in the process of finding a husband." He laughed. "But we all know vampires only marry for power and domination." he snorted, "Never love."

"Word around the city is that the Queen is in debt. She needs to find a mate and fast." the woman added her little tidbit.

"What about the King of Mississippi?"

"Russell?" the man laughed. "I've known Russell for quite some time. He's not stupid. Not even I would join lands with her." he shook his head. "Besides, Russell won't be able to attend. He has other _priorities_ he has to see to. However, Peter and Phoebe decided to make an appearance."

"Will you need me there as your right hand man or on guard?" Victor asked.

_On guard? Is Victor the King's personal security? _I thought about it. _Is the King even human?_

"It's a festivity Victor. Please, try to have fun." the woman told him sounding a little too friendly for her own good.

"So when will you be introducing your child to me?" the King asked.

Victor took a step backward toward my direction. I'm not too sure if he knew I was there or not, but if he did, then he was trying to hide me from them.

_But why?_

"My child?" he asked, trying his best to play it off.

"Victor, you know you can't hide anything from me. I have eyes and ears around this city." said with an evil grin. "This is my city."

Victor shrugged, "Would you like me to bring her to this event?"

For a moment there was silence. Then the King stepped forward and walked toward Victor.

What he was about to say, I was only able to hear because I was vampire. I highly doubt the woman he was with was able to hear either. The words he spoke was so soft, it was _barely_ above a breath.

"I need you there on point with me. Blood might be shed tomorrow. Do you think she will be able to handle herself?"

"Is this the Queen's doing?"

The King grinned, "Never…" he turned around and walked back toward the woman, linking her arms with his. "…its mine."


	4. Lucky Number 22

**A/N: I must apologize for slacking on the updates of this story. Really, its not easy to write two separate stories at the same time, lol. I know, I totally suck! But now that I returned from my trip, holidays passed, moved, and settled in, I actually had enough time to myself to not only finish one chapter here but also another for my other story. **

**And just so you know, I'm sort of stuck in a bind here. I'm not sure where I want this story to go. I'm going to finish this but temporarily, its going to be placed on my back burner...hiatus : ( But hey, I have ideas, its just I haven't picked one and stuck with it, you know?**

**Anyhoo, this chapter is basically the beginning of her breaking point. What could possibly set her off.**

**Now without further adieu...**

**I do not claim the rights to any of the characters of the Southern Vampire Mysteries or True Blood. Read, review, && enjoy! ^-^  
**

* * *

"Why were you there? Why did you follow me tonight?" Victor demanded the moment he walked in.

"I was only curious." I said in a child like voice.

I've never seen anyone this pissed off in my entire life.

_Well, except Isabelle._

"You could've been killed for even eavesdropping on the conversation that was held between the King and I." he growled, "Your fangs would've been served to me for allowing such disobedience!"

"Disobedience? Are you serious?" I shouted right back. Now I was getting pissed. "For the past several months I have been nothing but obedient, as you so well put it! I've done everything you asked and more!" I bellowed. "I haven't even spoken to my father just like you asked! And believe me, that shit is a lot harder to do!" I scoffed with fumes escaping my ears. "And I'm talking about my _real_ father not some vampire wannabe!"

Within seconds Victor had his hands wrapped around my throat (not that it mattered because I no longer breathe oxygen) ready to attack. He slammed me against the wall hard enough to where I could feel the cement crack under pressure.

"Do you know why I haven't told you about the night I turned you?" he shouted, patience out the window. "Because you were raped, then beaten, and then left to die all alone in your parent's home! That's why!" he bellowed, "You wanted to know so badly what happened to you that night and well, now you know! Are you happy now?"

I wasn't sure if I heard him correctly. _Raped?…Me? _I shrugged. _Impossible…something like that would never happen to someone like me._

"You're lying." I raspingly told him, shaking my head in disbelief.

He grinned at me, but something behind that grin felt so wrong…so _evil_.

"Why would I lie to you? I have nothing to benefit from this conversation. Well, just a fucking headache." he grunted. "You're a tease Lily. From the moment you stepped into Las Vegas you were targeted by every male, human or otherwise." he laughed. "Prissy, little rich bitch spending daddy's money to ease the emptiness she feels inside." he paused, increasing the pressure against my throat. "You walk all over these men who were pathetic enough to believe that you would give them the time of day. Well, until you met the wrong man."

I gulped. Or tried to anyways.

_No, it isn't true. _I kept telling myself. _He's just old and bitter and extremely pissed. _I didn't want to hear anymore of this. Truth or not, I won't believe it. No, I couldn't believe it. _Things like this don't happen, not to people like me, not to people of my upbringing. _

"But it is true Lily. Don't you remember?" he asked, slipping his free hand up my dress. "He bought you dinner and took you straight home just like you asked. But you thought it would end at the doorstep didn't you?" his lips curving. "Like what you've done to the five men before him."

I know a few hours ago I was pissed at Victor for not touching me. But now, this kind of touching was beginning to make me feel very uncomfortable. I didn't want this, not like this.

_And this was definitely no pillow talk. None of this was what I had imagined when I fantasized about our first sexual encounter._

Victor clawed at my panties before continuing. "He waited until you opened your door, then he shoved his way through, taking you down with him." with my left hand, I tried to remove his hand from under my clothes but his strength was too much for me. Even as a vampire, he still overpowered me. "He beat you with his fists until you stopped fighting…until your limbs were like mud…until you were too exhausted to even speak…" then he paused, releasing my throat as he watched me, looking me dead in the eyes as he continued. "…your throat was raw from all the screaming…then he picked you up and tossed you over his shoulder." Victor cracked a smile. "I'm guessing you might have knocked out for a minute or so because you stopped fighting until after he threw you onto your living room sofa." he laughed. "And you know the question you haven't asked me yet?"

I bit the insides of my cheek. "What question is that…?" I asked, rubbing my throat.

"How do I know all of this?" he plainly said.

I gulped again. I didn't want to hear the answer to his question. From the moment I woke up in this new life right up until now, he was the only one that I could trust. He's the only one that I could depend on. But now, I wasn't so sure anymore.

He lowered his head toward my ear and whispered, "I watched every second of it and I did nothing."

Immediately, I pushed him off of me. "You're lying! You're-this is bullshit!"

"Is it? You don't remember being stabbed twenty two times do you?" I just shook my head. "He told you that was for every year you lived." I shook my head in disbelief again. "I knew his intentions. I could smell it on his skin. It burned him to his core… and I knew it. I knew someone just…like…him…"

I walked backwards along the wall. "Why are you doing this to me?" I asked. "Why are you telling me this now? Like this…?"

For a split second, I thought I saw hurt in his eyes. Immediately he looked down, shielding himself from me. With his hands on his waist, he continued. "I want you to realize that in this world of ours, you can't trust everyone. Least of all me."

"You made me like this! You did this to me!"

He glanced up, "I know! I regret it, even now!"

I was beginning to find my ground again. Fury took over and before I knew it I was beating my fists on his chest like a mad woman.

"You should've just let me die! Why didn't you just let me die?" I cried as I beat harder and harder against his chest.

For a long while he just stood there while I took out my anger and frustration on him. Well, until I wiped away my tears.

"What the fuck is this…?" Confused at how my hands were now bloody, I checked to see if the blood had came from Victor himself. "What…" I wiped away my tears again and realized the blood was coming from me, from my face.

I ran to the mirror and was horrified of the person staring back at me. "Am I…_dying_?"

"You're already dead." he said, sounding bored with this conversation.

I grunted, "Ugh! Am I dying again?" I demanded. "Smart ass."

"No." was all he said before walking down the hall to his room.

"This isn't over!" I shouted after him. Then I looked back at my own reflection and shivered. "This is so disgusting. I don't know how vampires can live like this!" I shrieked as I grabbed the box of tissues.

"We've done it for centuries Lily. You're the only vampire I know that has managed to maintain some unnecessary human instincts." he shouted from down the hall.

_Just like a light switched off, fights over._ I thought to myself as I rolled my eyes at his last statement, wiping off all the blood. _Vampires are strange beings._

"Well why the fuck do we have to leak blood from our eyes?" I grunted. "I thought I was over with those days?"

_I don't know anyone who enjoys having their period. Ugh!_

"Bleeding from your eyes isn't the same thing as bleeding from your southern regions Lily. Yes, its true, you are no longer ovulating. But we live off of blood. We thrive off of it. We drink it to survive and that is exactly what is flowing through our bodies." he said from behind his door. "Human bodies are made up almost entirely of water. Vampires are made up of almost entirely of blood. Its really the same difference."

"Oh my god, please, spare me the fucking lecture!" I grunted as I tossed the tissue aside. With vampire speed, I was at his bedroom door in a matter of seconds. "Why didn't you just let me die? Things could've been so much easier."

He stood there looking out his window. I know he heard me but he seem to be lost deep in thought.

So I repeated. "Why didn't you just let me die?" of course I was being a little more demanding with a touch of drama.

He slowly turned around, "That's what I ask myself every time I wake up from this nightmare."

I scoffed. "Fuck you."

"You are free to leave." he said lowly.

"What did you say?"

He cleared his throat…a human gesture. "I said that you are free to leave."

Without thinking things through, my rage got the best of me, and I tossed his dresser across the room. I'll admit that I was very proud of myself for having such strength.

"You bastard!" I shouted. "You turn me into one of you and now you're sending me on my way like some fucking orphan or something?"

And just like the woman I am, I began flying anything and everything at him, whatever my hands could get on. But the strange thing about it was he didn't move, he didn't even budge. He just stood there, a big, fat bulls eye.

"You will pay for this! All you men will pay for this bullshit that you've put me through!" I swore with rage. "Starting with the bastard that did this to me!" He just laughed. "Where is he? I know you know where he is…tell me!" I demanded.

Without taking a glance back, he pointed to his bed side table. "The address to your attacker is written on the note pad." I didn't waste three seconds of my time before reaching for it. "But I will warn you Lily…"

I rolled my eyes. _Now the bastard wants to have a fucking conscious? _I scoffed. _Fuck him. Fuck all of them!_

"Once you kill him. That's it. That is where it has to stop. But…" he paused as he turned around to face me full on. "…but if you continue this outrage, you will never be allowed back into the city. You will be hunted and then staked either by AVL or the council."

I laughed at that statement. "You're fucking unbelievable! Why would I continue killing?"

His eyes narrowed. "Because its in your nature. Humans have their own addictions, drugs, alcohol…even sex. But a vampire…the only addiction we are prone to having, and something that I experienced once in my life…is murder."

_But we murder humans everyday._

He shrugged. "You kill your meals to feed. Its not the same as murdering just for the hell of it."

"Yeah but-"

"Something in your head just switches off. You could say that you lose touch with your humanity and all you can think about is blood…but not hunger pains…_murder_. You will get to a point where you will see blood stains on the walls, on your own hands even. Every person you come across will somehow resemble your victims." he paused taking a step forward. "And that…" he stopped to take a long look at his own hands. "…that will be the breaking point when you realize that's the point of no return." he sighed. "You will crave it…long for it…beg for it. Killing will then become your life. You will murder even the most innocent…"

I laughed at that. _I would never harm a child. Never._

"What makes you so sure of yourself?"

He was silent for a minute as he continued to stare at the palms of his hands. "I somehow overcame it." Then he looked up at me. "Before you decide what it is that you want to do, sleep on it. Really think this through because seeking revenge when every moment is so fresh in your mind isn't the smartest choice. You will only be acting on impulse. And that will take you to your final death."

* * *

_Sleep on it he says. _I mimicked his irritating voice. _Acting on impulse will only take you to your final death…blah, blah, blah._

Why the hell should I trust him now? He turned me into one of them and for what? To be turned on and pushed aside? Tossed out like yesterday's trash?

_Fuck him._

I'm now a free girl. I can make my own decisions. I'm not saying that I'm heading straight for my abuser, for all I know he could be some guy Victor wants dead.

_No way. He's not pinning shit on me._

No, what I need to do is get my life back in order. And the first thing that I want to do, what I need to do, is to remember.

_I'm not sure how this can be accomplished but if there's a will, then damn it, there's a way. _I told myself as I closed the door behind me, carrying only what I came here with. _But do I really want to remember what happened to me?_


	5. Broken Memories

**A/N: I know its been almost a year since I last updated this story but now that Lily's part is finished in my other stories I figured I can continue telling hers =))**

**Read, review, && enjoy! ^_^  
**

* * *

When times were tough, I always knew that I could count on my father. If not my father, then my friends Amy and Bella. But now being what I am, I realize that I have no family or friends.

_I doubt I have any friends left after what I did. _I thought to myself. _I really don't have anyone…anymore._

Here I am living on the dark streets of Las Vegas, sleeping wherever I can find shelter. And when I say _shelter_, I mean seeking refuge in the underground sewage system to hide from daylight. I even have to feed off of the homeless because that will attract less attention from both the human and the vampires authorities.

_The homeless has been lost to Vegas a long time ago...no one will miss them.  
_

I know that there are so many unanswered questions lurking. But why do I feel as if I cant move on without those answers?

Sure, I can do the obvious and simply kill off the man that Victor _claims_ did this to me. Of course without my memory, I wont know which is the truth and which ones the fib.

_Maybe he made me this way so that I could be his personal assassin…_

But what it really comes down to is the simple fact that even if any of what he said was true, the real murderer is Victor.

Yes, according to Victor, that man had raped me and beat me until I was nearly dead. But that's where it ends. I wasn't dead, not completely. In theory, I was still breathing.

But Victor, he was the one who took my life in exchange for this one. He was the one who made me who I am. It was because of him, I'm here, now, with nothing and no one.

_This life is no better than my previous. In fact, its worse. _I told myself as I leaned against the gravestone. _Now I'm back where my vampire life started. Back to this damn graveyard._

"Help me!" I heard a woman scream.

But her voice sounded distant. I looked around and saw no one.

_Don't play hero Lily. That isn't your problem._ My subconscious told me.

_I'm a damn vampire. I am much stronger than those humans out there. I can handle myself. _I retorted. _Now that is…_

_Okay, but don't get pissed when I tell you 'I told you so'. _

I began running toward the sound of someone running. I could feel the impact their foot made every time it hit's the ground and that told me that I was most likely dealing with a human.

_I hunted Weres before and they could reach up to over forty miles an hour during a chase._

"Help me, please!" I heard her scream once again. "Oh god!"

But just as I made it over the hill, I heard a loud thud. Feeling the vibration under my feet, I darted toward it.

And right there, several feet from me was an attack in progress.

"Stop fighting!" a man shouted as he began pounding his fist onto her face.

The sight alone froze me in place. I stopped immediately, knees caving in as I fell to the ground. My head throbbed with pressure as I gripped the grass beneath the palms of my hands.

I cried out as the pain worsened. "Fuck!" I screamed.

* * *

"_Where are you from?" I asked, slightly curious._

_He had an accent, one that I wasn't familiar with. _

"_I was born and raised right here in Vegas. I graduated from Clark High School in 98'." he told me as he smiled._

_I raised my eyebrows, "Wow, really? How can you stand the heat here?"_

"_After awhile, you sort of get use to it."_

_I shook my head, "No, this is too much. I don't think I could handle this on an everyday basis. I could die."_

_His smile faded for a few seconds. Then he shook his head and his face brightened up once again. _

"_Do you want to get out of here?" he asked._

"_I don't know." I told him hesitating. "I think I'm ready to go home actually."_

* * *

I rolled onto my side as a wave of nausea over came me. I began convulsing as I puked out bloody chunks.

* * *

_As I opened the door to my parent's villa, someone pushed me in, causing me to trip over the rug and land flat on my face. _

_I quickly turned to my side to get up only to be kicked in the gut. With that, I flew to the side and landed underneath the table._

_I screamed out in pain as I tried to get up again. But this time, when I looked up, I saw him coming and kicked him right in the knee. As fast as my feet allowed, I got up and ran._

_Seconds later I was tackled to the ground like a football player, clawing my way out from under him._

_He cackled. "You're a fighter, aren't you?"_

_Before I could respond, I felt him grip my hair and pounded my head onto the marble floor repeatedly until I nearly blacked out. _

_He stood up, straightened himself out just before grabbing my ankles.  
_

* * *

I laid flat on my back as I tried to catch my breath. I wasn't one hundred percent positive the visions that I received was my broken memories or some really fucked up nightmare. But there was one thing about it all that I was certain, seeing that woman being beaten a few feet away gave me an eerie déjà vu feeling.

* * *

_The moment he wrapped his hands around my throat was the moment I knew things had just taken a turn for the worse. I felt as if my lungs were going to explode. Before I knew it, he tossed me onto the sofa as if I was nothing more than a rag doll. With little oxygen to my brain, I was barely functioning, I couldn't think straight or absorb what was about to happen._

_"You toy with men, you stupid rich girl. I will show you what happens when you fuck with me!" he yelled as he held my mother's fertility statue, which then collided with my head._

* * *

"No..." I breathed. "No, this is-"

* * *

_When I finally came to, I was underneath the man as he forced himself into me, pounding harder and harder. I could feel my insides raw and ripping with every stroke._

_I felt weakened both mentally and physically to fight back. I wanted to dig his eyes out, something…anything. But I felt helpless._

_When he realized I was waking up, he began choking me with one hand as his other hand stabbed me repeatedly with something sharp enough to pierce right through my skin. It didn't take me long to come to a conclusion that it was a knife._

_That was when I knew this was the end of the road for me. This was how I was going to die…raped and stabbed to death. At some point I figured that maybe I deserved this because of all the pain that I caused. _

_After awhile, its as if I couldn't feel anymore pain. I was now numb physically. I watched him as he continued to rape me, finishing off with his knife plunging my side in a similar motion as his he was._

* * *

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!" I cried out as I realized that what I was seeing was reality, my reality.

Remembering every second of my final night made me sick to my stomach as I tried to grasp what the man had done to me. Its as if raping me with his sordid cock wasn't enough, he wanted to rape me with his blade as well.

Anger began to build deep within my core and all I wanted to do was kill him in the exact way he had killed me. I wanted to torture him, make him beg for his life, but even then I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

I stood up, eyes darting for the man who continued to beat on the helpless woman as if no one else was in this world but the two of them, oblivious to my presence.

_Fuck him._

I ran to him with vampire speed, reaching him in a matter of seconds, tackling him to the ground just as I had been not too long ago. I made sure that he saw my face first so that he knows what's coming next.

"What the fuck?" he yelled as he tried to push me off.

I grinned at him, "Revenge is a real bitch." I told him just before I bit into his neck, tearing off chunks at a time.

* * *

I now had a new thirst. Satisfying this thirst for blood last only moments at a time. I wanted more and killing off random people wasn't quenching me no longer.

It started with typically two people a night, mostly men. Then it escalated to four or even six a night. For me, it wasn't murder. It felt more like a hobby, like hunting. It was something that I enjoyed to the extreme.

And as the weeks passed, I became a better hunter. I arranged the bodies to look as if it was a possible animal attack. I also knew not to stay in one place too long with fear of getting caught so I moved on from Vegas to the nearest small town.

_With small towns, things like animal attacks are more common than major cities._

Then one night, passing through a truck stop, I saw a poster with my face plastered on almost everything, from the windows, to the bulletin board, to the doors of the bathrooms.

"Mother..." I thought wryly as I crumpled my missing picture within my hand.

_Well…maybe I should make a stop at home._


	6. Revenge Is A Bitch

**Read, review, && enjoy! ^_^ Thanks a bunch!**

* * *

I hitchhiked my way to LA and killed the first female that looked similar to my size and style. I dumped her naked body on the side of the road and took everything that she had including her car. Then I made my way _home_.

It took me a few days before making my final move, one that has been very much anticipated. I waited decades for this chance and I didn't want to fuck it up. I watched, waiting as patiently as I could for that green light.

I didn't quite know what it was that I wanted to do to _her_ exactly. However, I knew I wanted this to be slow but painful just as I had endured for years. The problem was I wanted time and daddy was in the way.

_How?_ I thought to myself as I laid on top of the roof, looking up at the night sky. _Soon…_

* * *

Then over a week of surveillance later, the perfect opportunity arose much to my advantage, setting my plan in motion. I overheard my father on his phone saying that he will be leaving for a few days and that's when I knew it was my chance.

_My only chance.  
_

I walked up to the door and rang the doorbell.

I knew that the help had gone home for the weekend and that my father was out of town on business. The only one left, the only one that mattered was my mother. Home and very much _alone_.

I could feel the adrenaline rushing through my blood. _I waited for this moment for a really long time. _I thought as my grin widened.

As soon as she opened the door, she nearly fainted.

_Dramatic bitch._

"Oh my god, Lily…" she gasped.

There was something about her surprise that had the hair on the back of my neck standing up. She always seem, to me, a fake woman. But this time, her initial reaction, well it was as if she had rehearsed this moment one too many times before to make it look so fucking _unnatural_.

"Mother." I said through gritted teeth. "Surprised?"

We never really got along. We _pretended _around her rich friends and at events. And at times, even around daddy. But behind the closed doors, she always hated me. And eventually, I, of her.

When I was fourteen, that's when she told me everything that she wanted to tell me for so long to my face.

* * *

**Past:**

As I waved to daddy through the window, deep inside I wished that he had taken me with him. I would go anywhere just to be with him and away from here.

_Away from her._

"Lily, get away from that window!" my mother screamed as she pulled on my hair. "You are too old to still be acting like a damn child! When are you going to grow up and realize that you are _not_ daddy's little girl anymore?"

I stumbled backwards and landed on my butt. Naturally, I cried out as I got back to my feet.

"That hurts mother…" I whispered, afraid of raising her temper.

I could tell that she has been drinking. The smell of vodka was on her breath and her eyes were bloodshot red. I didn't want to anger her but it seems as if I had unintentionally done so already just by waving goodbye to my father.

"You think that just because you're young…and pretty, that you can take_ my _husband's eyes off of me?" she laughed at me as she wrapped her arms around herself. "He was mine before you were even born! You will never be his!"

"You're drunk." I said, lowering my head, regretting letting those words slip. Slowly her face hardened just before gripping my jaw so tight, I thought it would shatter into tiny pieces. "Mommy, you're hurting me!" I cried.

"You listen to me and you listen very closely Lily…" she hissed through her pearly whites. "…just because you walk around here with a body of a young woman…just because you have _my _blonde hair…just because you have _my _legs, that makes you no better than me! You will _never _be me, got it?"

But she was wrong, I didn't want to be _her_. I wanted anything but that. I wanted to just be _me_. Its not my fault that I looked like her reflection. This…_beauty_…its my curse.

I tried to jerk out of her grip but she just dug her nails under my skin.

"Ow!"

"I hate you, always have! I gave you life and I can take it away!" she screamed as her other hand grabbed a big chunk of my hair. "I never should've had you! You destroyed my life! You took everything from me!" she screamed so loud, my ears began to ring. "You're a demon! You stole a piece of my soul!" she bellowed, releasing my hair, raising that hand to me. "I want it back!"

"Mrs. Montgomery!" Beth, the maid screamed in horror.

My mother lowered her hand just as she grinned down at me, "This isn't over…" she whispered just before slapping me so hard across my face, my small frame stumbled onto the ground following right after.

* * *

**Present:**

"You're alive..." she whispered as she hesitated whether or not she should pull me in for a hug. "Come in, come in." she said instead, flashing me her fake pageant smile.

I flashed her a grin right back, "Don't sound so surprised mother."

"What?" she asked, voice shallow.

I walked pass her, glancing back to see her close the door behind me, then locking it. I could feel my ego lift knowing I had gotten a rise out of her.

"I know that no one is here so lets just cut to the chase…" I said smoothly as I cocked my ear in her direction. Her heart began racing. "…I waited for years to say this to you." I said.

"Lily, don't be-"

I whipped my head around in a very un-human like motion. "Don't be _what _mother?" I paused. "You made me like this. Don't you remember what you had told me all those years ago? You gave me life...that I was a demon. I…" I extracted my fangs. "…stole a piece of your soul…?" I smiled, flashing her my toothy grin.

She immediately backed towards the door, fumbling with the knobs.

"You are a demon…" she stammered accusingly. "...oh my god."

I shook my head, "I wouldn't do that if I were you. You will only make me angry." I warned her. "And believe me, I am _very_ angry..."

"You're not my daughter!" she screamed as she managed to unlock the door.

With vampire speed and strength, I slammed her against the door, forcing it closed. Then I pushed her out of the way as I broke off the doorknob.

"Mother dearest, unfortunately I am _your_ daughter. I'm that very demon you accused me of all these years and guess what…?" I asked as I stalked stealthily towards her.

She tried to catch her breath, pressing a hand to her chest. "What…?"

I cracked the kink in my neck, "I'm here to collect."

* * *

Killing my mother was easier than I expected. I mean I took it quite well, given the fact that she was my mother. A monster, but technically still my mother.

_I'm guessing suicide will be in this year. _I thought to myself as I placed her in a tub of cold water and slit both her wrists. _How ironic was it that this woman had given me life, while here I am, draining hers?_

I sat there with her for hours waiting until she _finally_ died.

_And believe me, it was nearly sunrise when she took her last breath._

I sat next to her and watched as life slowly drained out and into the tub. I listened to her cries and her pleas, begging for me to spare her.

_Yeah right…so not happening._

But after a few hours, she just stopped. Maybe she lost her voice. Maybe she gave up and lost her will to live. Or maybe her strength to speak had simply dwindled. She could have even came to the conclusion that this was really the end of the road for her. Either way, the bitch remained silent the rest of the night.

I know what you're probably thinking, why didn't I just drain her myself? I mean, this was a waste of blood and I could've saved myself all this trouble. But truthfully, I refuse to feed from her tainted body.

_I would pull out my own fangs before ingesting that evil woman's blood. _

Plus, I wanted her death to be extra slow. I wanted her to know that death was coming for her. If I had used warm water, the blood will flow more easily, thus bringing her final breath closer.

_And like hell will I give this bitch the satisfaction...not even on her death bed.  
_

* * *

After a few weeks of being on my own, I noticed that killing random idiots no longer satisfied my cravings. But it wasn't until murdering my mother that I realized this is what I craved all along.

_Her blood on my hands._

I killed someone that mattered to me, someone I knew, someone I cared about and once loved. She gave birth to me, help teach me to talk and walk. And once upon a time, she use to brush my hair with a soft bristled hairbrush and read me stories.

_Of course, all of this was _before_ she turned on me._

I drained the life out of my own mother and I loved it. The rush I got was just as amazing as the first time I killed someone. I could feel myself being pulled within and I knew that once I started, I had to finish what I was now set out to do...

_Now, who's going to be my next victim?_


	7. Vegas Dahlia

**A/N: Yes, Lily is taking quite a rapid approach down her road to revenge. If you don't know by now, she is the type that holds grudges && is in it to get even. **

**Now, I would like to apologize for another short chapter but I think I made my point. Lol. I wanted to go into greater detail and deeper torture but I settled on this final edit. Oh and before you continue, this chapter might be a little gruesome 0.o  
**

**Without further adieu...  
**

**Thank you for reading! I truly do appreciate it! Read, review, && enjoy! ^-^**

* * *

Remembering my final hour as a human has turned me into a fiend. All I can think about is killing my rapist in as many ways possible just to get even.

_But this one time, I wont make it look like an accident…he's going to be my Dahlia._

Unlike my mother, whom I watched for over a week, my rapist wont get such luxury.

_Oh no, this sick fucking dealer just bust._

I followed him from the address that Victor had given me, keeping right on his tail as he ventured to the Strip. I kept enough distance to observe the way he preyed on the women. He didn't only walk the Strip, he went into the casinos where women played the tables.

Finally, he rested his eyes on a woman older than twenty five but without a doubt under the age of thirty. She was at a Blackjack table and boy was she a high roller, judging from her 25k chips.

I'm sure that's not what attracted my rapist to her. I mean, he clearly had a type, rich women. He looked for key factors, jewelry, designer handbags and clothes, etc.

But with Miss High Roller, it wasn't like she flashed diamonds and pearls, so it wasn't obvious to the naked eye.

_Until you looked at her feet. _

She clearly had money to her name judging from her Christian Louboutin stilettos.

_Any woman who knows her heels knows those red soles anywhere._

It was a hook, line, and sinker for him. He had this act down to a Tee and had her eating out of his hand in less than twenty minutes. I couldn't help but wonder how the hell did he do it?

He looked like an ordinary working middle class guy. And if I remember correctly, he went to a public school. Clark High School to be exact.

_So what could she possibly see in him? _I thought about it as I followed behind them. _What did I see in him?_

* * *

I refused to remember what I thought I saw in this sick man. So when I saw an opportunity, I seized it.

_An empty parking lot? How predictable._

I crept up behind him knocked him on the side of his head. He fell face first onto the cement.

Before the woman could scream, I glamoured her. "You might have forgotten your wallet back at the table. You decided to go separate ways from this man and return to the tables. You never saw me here and you will never see this man again."

She nodded just before turning around and walking back to the elevator that she came out of.

_Wow, that was easy._

I immediately picked him up, tossing him over my shoulder, and ran back to his place.

_A car would be easier but unfortunately, I never learned how to jump start a car and time was working against me._

* * *

There wasn't much tools lying around that I could work with so I just had to make do with what I could find around his house. I stripped him naked and tied him to his four post bed using his ties.

_I'm sure he used these on a previous lover. _

Then I gagged him using his own ball gag with a collar.

_Sick fuck._

I didn't want to know why he even had one or who used it.

I straddled his chest, "Wake up asshole." When he didn't respond, I slapped his face hard enough for a reaction but not enough for breaking his bones. His eyes fluttered open as he glanced around. "Yeah, you guessed it, this is your room, your nasty bed." I told him, yawning dramatically. "Now that you're awake, we can finally play your game. Except I wont rape you physically because one, that's near impossible, and two, I find you so fucking disgusting."

He mumbled something but it wasn't clear enough for me to respond. So I removed his gag.

"You're dead!" he said, shocked. "I killed you."

I couldn't help but laugh, "Um no…you didn't you dumb fuck."

"Yes I did! I stabbed you twenty two times! You couldn't have survived that!"

I leaned in close to his face, "Does it look like I survived?" I asked just before extracting my fangs.

He gulped, "Oh fuck…"

I smiled, "And guess what?" I asked him.

"What…?"

"Its your turn. Lets see if you survive what I do to you." I told him just before jumping off of him.

"What the fuck?" he screamed.

"Yeah, you heard me right. But see, unlike you, I want you awake so that you can feel everything and see everything." I told him, reaching for the carving knife on his bedside. "Now which do you prefer? Rape first or stabbed? Or shall I do it at the same time?" I asked him, reaching for the fireplace poker in the other hand.

"Please, don't do this." he began begging.

I rolled my eyes, "Sorry, that card has been played. Try again."

He tried to jerk from his restraints but it was no use. "I have a family. A s-son."

I shook my head, "You cant play that family card. Its not fair. I never begged, I took it like a man."

"You're crazy." I walked over to the foot of the bed, keeping my eyes on him just as his eyes were on me. I placed the knife on the bed and lift the poker. "Fuck!"

I grinned at him, "You know, for someone who doesn't have a pussy, you sure act like one." I cackled. "And since you don't have one, maybe I should make you one?"

"Fuck that!" he screamed as he began jerking both his hands and feet. "Help me! Someone help me!"

Ignoring him, I positioned the poker like a pool stick and aimed for a target just above his ass hole. Maybe I could make it into his ass, maybe not. It didn't matter to me, as long as its in there, I could care less.

"There are only two players here, me and you. You dealt first, so that makes you a dealer." I told him softly. "22 is a bust in this game of Blackjack, dealer loses." I said to him just before ramming the poker into him.

I felt the poker hit something hard, I'm guessing it was his pelvic bone. So I pulled out slightly and jammed it in even harder this time, breaking right through as I thrust in and out in a fucking motion. His cries and his curses drowned out the room.

"Help-"

"Does it hurt?" I asked him, looking up his naked body. He nodded furiously. I smiled, "Maybe if you bite on that ball gag, it should help." I suggested.

I didn't bother removing the poker from within in, I just left it exactly where it was. I crawled over him, snatching the carving knife.

"Let me go, please. I'm sor-" he cried.

"Fuck you."

I shoved the ball gag back into his mouth and began stabbing him exactly twenty two times, slowly twisting the knife on my way out. With each thrust, he cried and screamed. He mumbled too, what I'm assuming is curses. He even managed to piss himself after a few minutes.

I didn't want to mirror his exact actions, that wasn't what I was trying to do. I figured if he raped me and stabbed me twenty two times, then he deserves to die the exact way that he intended for me.

_But I'm going to put my own twist on it._

The part that came next, I had to make it quick because he was losing blood and fast. I reached for the butcher knife on the bedside table and returned to the foot of the bed. I made sure his eyes were on me before ferociously swinging the butcher knife, amputating his left leg from his thigh.

He gurgled a scream as I ripped off his leg, pushing it aside. Then I moved onto his next leg, doing the same thing.

_Don't die yet. _

With one hand I grabbed the head of his penis and with my other, I chopped it off. I crawled onto his chest, removing the gag and stuffed his severed penis into his bloody mouth. He looked like he was chewing on his own tongue.

_Gross._

I placed the gag ball back into his mouth and finished him off with severing both arms. Of course near the end he had finally died.

"Wow, that was fun!" I laughed out loud as I glanced around at a bloody mess that I just made. "Oh my…I think I've been a very, very bad girl."

* * *

I found clean clothes and took a nice hot shower just before going back to the Strip to get my _borrowed _car. Then I returned to his house.

Leaving everything but his puzzled body behind, I tossed him into the trunk of the car. I traveled up Tropicana feeling as if a weight has been lifted off of me.

_But there was something that still bothered me._

I parked the car along Arville. Then I distributed his five severed body parts across the open field of Clark High School.

_The Las Vegas Dahlia._

* * *

I thought that if I killed my rapist, that would fulfill me. But all it did was lift the weight off of my shoulder and make me hunger for more. There was still a part inside of me that grew heavy with each passing day. I knew I had to find the root to all of my problems and it started long before I came to Las Vegas.

_Isabelle._


	8. Hidden Truth

**A/N: Sorry I took soooo long to update! Finding time has been a challenge with the added drama in my life. *sighs* Yes, drama && problems seems to have a never ending pit for me! Lol! But enough about me **

**=))**

**This chapter is a look into her past, insight to everything leading up to her dark && devious descend. I tried to only keep what I thought was necessary with hopes of NOT boring my fellow readers with a too long of a chapter! (Yes, I have learned from past mistakes! Hehehe!) && yes, this is her version of the chapters that was featured in my previous stories. Hopefully I didn't forget anything!**

**Anyhoo, thank you for reading! Read, review, && enjoy! ^_^**

* * *

_Why did I go back? _I thought to myself as I remembered why I fled to Las Vegas in the first place.

Ryan had came to see me days before I was turned vampire. It was his final rejection that lead me down this road.

_Men…_

* * *

**Past:**

A few months after graduation, after Bella and Amy went off to college, my father had planned a vacation for the two of us to Las Vegas. He wanted to spend some time with me before I went on my eighteen month travel around the world. He honestly thought that we could use the time together but at the very last minute he bailed on me.

_Business…again._

So I went by myself, taking his private jet to Las Vegas. I stayed at the Mirage for the week and used my fake ID to get into exclusive clubs and of course, to gamble.

_It is Vegas after all._

After a night of gambling and clubbing, I returned to the hotel. While waiting for the elevator, a group of guys came stumbling into the hall, clearly just as drunk as me.

"Ooh, how much for an hour?" one idiot asked as he joined his friends with laughter, playfully punching each other. "You are for sale right?"

_I guess they never do grow up._ I thought, peeved. _No matter how _old.

I rolled my eyes and flipped him off, "Fuck you."

No, this wasn't lady like of me, nor is using liquid courage as an excuse. I know my father taught me better than this. But there is a fine line between _ass _and _asshole_. And believe me, this punk had crossed it.

"I'm sorry about my friend. He had too much to drink. He does this every year." a tall, black haired, blue eyed guy apologized, stepping out from within the crowd, in front of them. "Ryan." he said, putting his hand forward.

I glanced down and then back up at him, "I don't care and I definitely don't want an apology. Just take the assole to his room before he makes a bigger fool of himself."

He smiled at me and right there I knew that there was something brewing between us. And from the way that he stared back at me, I could tell that he knew it too.

_Damn…he's so fucking hot!_

* * *

When the elevator arrived, he had his friends go on ahead while he waited with me for the next cart. No words between us, just flirtatious glances.

The moment those elevator doors closed behind us, our lips locked. There was no holding back from each other. Both of our minds were free to do just about anything.

His hands were all over me and mine all over him. I felt my insides throbbing, I didn't want to wait until we got to my floor, I wanted him right here, right now. And after a short moment, I knew he wanted it too.

He picked me up, pinning me into the corner, spreading my legs apart. He nearly tore my thong to shreds as he pushed it to the side. Seconds later, he was inside me, grunting as he thrust harder and harder.

My hands struggled to find something to hold onto, anything will do. So I gripped his shoulders, clawing, digging, trying to find grip. Feeling like I was about to explode, I tore away from his kiss and bit his shoulder, suppressing my moans as we both came.

As he came to a slow stop, he gripped onto the rail as I unwrapped my legs from around him.

"I'm sorry, I don't normally-"

I laughed as I shook my head at him, "Don't worry about it."

He stepped back, fixing his clothes. "Its just, I normally last longer than that…"

_Seriously? Haven't he ever heard of a quickie?_

"Ryan, is it?" he nodded. "Just shut up. We can finish this in my room if you want. Take all the time you need to show me just how long you can row my boat."

* * *

I didn't think that we would continue having a relationship after Vegas. I thought it would be one of those flings that eventually fizzles out.

_But we did._

It was really more like a long distance relationship. We may not have known much about each other outside of the bedroom but the more time we spent together, the better we got to know one another. Unexpectedly our relationship bloomed into something more.

_Something much more...  
_

Every other weekend, I would fly him to wherever I was at the time. Dubai, France, Italy, you name it, I probably been there.

_That was the point in going on my eighteen month world travel. _

I was young and I wanted to experience the world before settling down and starting a family. I was never one for education so I knew that I couldn't really make something of myself. Maybe if I tried harder, I probably could've accomplished anything, but I chose the easier route.

_And then Ryan came and changed some of those plans._

Our romance was very sexual. Sometimes, I didn't want him to leave. But he had to return because of work.

I could easily drop everything and move back to America. I could cancel my remaining travel and work on building a solid relationship with him. I mean, who knows, marriage could possibly be in our future.

_But I wont because this is one thing that I can actually go back and say that I've accomplished._

"Stay a few more hours with me…" I begged him, lacing my fingers with his. "…please."

He kissed my forehead, "You know I cant do that." he sighed. "I'm giving up my weekend just to be here with you."

_Oh I know he didn't just say that._

I frowned, "You make it sound like it's a chore…being here." I pulled away from him, slipping off the bed. "Forget I ever said anything. You know how to let yourself out."

_Ugh...he did.  
_

I grabbed a fresh towel from the on top of the dresser and went straight to the bathroom without even a glance.

* * *

"I didn't mean it like that Lily." Ryan whispered as he opened the shower door. "I love being here with you."

I rolled my eyes as I continued soaping up myself. "I thought I told you to forget I ever said a thing?" I groaned. "Just go." I told him, turning my back on him, letting the water hit me in the face.

Seconds later I heard the shower door close and felt his arms wrap around my waist.

"I'm sorry." he whispered against my shoulder. "I'll call in tomorrow morning."

I turned around and wiped my eyes. "Don't. I want you to stay because_ you_ want to, not because I want you here." I told him. "I don't want you hating me for this."

_Is that really so much to ask?_

"I wont, I promise." he whispered just before tightening his embrace. "I know we just met a few months ago but I really do like you." he said, pausing, trying to catch my gaze. "I will stay here so you wont have to be lonely tonight."

_Maybe some wishes do come true..._

* * *

_But of course all good things must come to an end._

I really thought that we were going to last. I mean I never felt like this about any guy before. Never had I put myself out there the way that I've done before. I've never stripped myself bare for just anyone to see.

_And I believed deep inside that he was the one._

I felt as if this guy would be _the guy_ that I would eventually walk down the isle to. I could imagine myself being his wife and the mother of his children. And I can tell you honestly that I thought he felt the same way too.

_We were so good together._

But after a little over a year together, I got the one phone call that had changed my life for the worse. Never did I imagine this day would come.

_Not in this lifetime._

"Are you coming this weekend? Its been almost three weeks since I seen you and I'm not taking no for an answer. I'm about to book-"

"Lily, we need to talk." he began.

_Uh oh._ I thought, fearing what words will come after as my throat swelled.

I was usually the one who broke off the relationship, never the other way around. I knew the routine. Those four words, 'we need to talk', was usually the beginning of the end. And sure enough, it was.

"Is there someone else?" I asked, on the verge of tears.

I had to know. I had a right to ask that question.

_It would only make sense. He's been literally avoiding me all this time. _

We've been dating long distance for over a year and the only time we really get to see each other is on weekends. I'm not there in LA with him so I don't know if he has a girl on the side. He could easily find another with all that time he has on his hands.

_But I trusted him enough to believe otherwise. _

That is what relationships are based on..._trust_. Without it, it isn't really a relationship.

_Right...?  
_

"No, Lily. Its-this isn't working for me. I hardly see you because you're half way around the world…" he paused. "…I'm sorry but I need more of you-"

"Okay then, I'll go to LA. I'll drop everything just to be-"

"Lily, please don't make this hard for me." he whispered.

_His mind is set…there's no 'us' anymore. No second chances. Its just me…_

Salty tears stained my cheeks, "Hard for you?" I flicked off those tears. "That's fine. I can do this all on my own." I told him, ending that final call.

I didn't have to hear anymore. I already knew this was the end by the few words he spoke. No amount of crying or begging will change his fucking mind. I would only make a fool of myself and I refuse to give him that final satisfaction in even knowing.

_I'm on my own now...  
_

* * *

Its been a long time since I seen Amy and Bella. So changing my travel plans was exactly what I needed. Weeks after the breakup had put me in a depressive mood. I needed my girlfriends.

_What better way to break out of that mood than to spend Spring Break in Vegas?_

So when I arrived at their apartment, the last person I thought that I would ever run into would be Ryan. I knew he lived in the city and that there was a fifty fifty chance of us running into each other, but I had hoped just this once things could go in my favor.

_Just for this week at least._

"Lily!" Bella screamed, jumping up from the sofa and running to me, hugging me tightly. "I missed you so much!"

I wrapped my arms around her, "I missed you too…" I whispered in her hair.

The scent of roses reminded me of the very first day I met them. I didn't have to look up to know someone was standing in front of my desk. Isabelle smelt like my grandmother's garden in bloom.

_Man how I miss those days._

She kissed my cheek as she pulled away, "Are you okay? You're not getting enough sun or something?"

Amy shook her head, "Please tell me you didn't catch some sort of foreign disease out there."

I smiled at them, "I promise." I told Amy, dragging my luggage into the apartment. "Wow, this place is pretty nice." I said, slightly envious.

It may not have been a large extravagant flat or in the best place in the city. But it was theirs to call to home.

Amy hugged me, "Its not the same without you here."

"I know, I missed you guys. It was really hard not being able to really talk to you guys or hang out like we use to."

"Right." Amy nodded in agreement. "With the major time difference and school-"

"And work." Bella chimed in.

"...its hard being that all of our schedules clash." she smiled. "But you're here now."

"I'm sorry, but I cant hold it in much longer." Bella said, biting her lip, "Well, guess what?"

Amy rolled her eyes, "She's got a new beau. Trust me, he isn't all that."

"Geez Amy!" Bella pushed her, "And shut up, you know you love him."

I sighed softly, "When am I meeting your new guy?" I asked, trying to cover up my disappointment. "He's not coming with us to Vegas right? I mean, I really need my girls right now…"

Bella shook her head, "No, of course not. Its going to be just us, I swear." she paused. "However, you will meet him soon. He's at work right now but he promised to stop by afterwards. I told him about you and he's really excited to finally meet you." Bella informed me. "So, you have to sit and tell us everything. Like what you've been up to…"

"Another fling maybe…?" Amy added. "You know how I love sex and hearing about it." she winked at me with a grin.

* * *

After dinner and after a few hours of catching up with one another, Bella decided to take a nap while Amy and I cleaned up.

_Guess college really drains your energy._

"I got the rest of this. Why don't you just relax?" Amy insisted. "You are the guest of course."

"Well…" I smiled. "…if you insist."

"Sorry we don't have maids." Amy shook her head, "Its not like we could afford it either."

"Hey, I'm not complaining. Besides, I've been doing everything on my own out there." I informed her with my hands on my hips.

"Okay…I believe you."

I rolled my eyes, "Anyways, I'm going to take a shower alright? I mean, if that's alright with you."

"Yeah, go, go. Its right down the hall." she said. "Make yourself at home."

_And take all the time you need. _I thought as I ducked out.

I knew that I should've done this before I came here but I was too damn afraid. Plus I couldn't read the labels on the pregnancy tests that I had found in Switzerland, so I didn't want to go through all that trouble.

_And I wanted to have a clear head coming here rather than worrying about what to do next._

* * *

After grabbing my clothes, a towel, and the box of pregnancy tests, I retreated to the bathroom. Just to be on the safe side, I used all three.

_You may never know if its defective.  
_

While I waited, I took a shower. I didn't want it to be that obvious what I might be doing in here. I didn't want to give Amy any ideas either.

_She's just like her mother, prying runs in her blood._

But when I got out, I got the answer that I wished to be defected. All three of them.

_Fuck…fuck…double fuck! It cant be positive!_ I mentally panicked as I picked up one after the other. _No, no, no, no, no!_

I felt like I couldn't breathe. The small bathroom felt as if it shrunk even smaller with every breath that I took. The walls seemed to be caving in inch by inch.

_I cant take this shit._

I shoved everything in my purse and practically ran out of there clutching my purse to my chest.

At that point, I was glad that I had my friends here with me. They have always been there for me. Especially now, I need them more than ever.

_They will know what to do. They will know what to say..._

"-if I wait on the sofa until she wakes?"

I stopped halfway into the living room and froze. I knew his voice anywhere.

_Oh my fucking god…this isn't happening right now._

"Yeah, no problem." Amy told _Ryan_. Then she saw me, "Oh hey, this is Ryan, Bella's new guy that we were telling you about." For a moment, both Ryan and I just stood there staring at each other with horror stricken faces. _Or maybe it was just me. _"Lily?" she frowned, "You okay?"

I nodded, never taking my eyes off of him. "I couldn't breathe in there…" I whispered. "Hi." I murmured to him.

_Damn it!_

I turned around and ran back to the bathroom.

_This cant be happening! This so cant be happening!_

Before I could actually stop myself, I burst into tears, trying my best to cry as softly as I could. I could feel my chest tightening as I slowly absorbed the circumstances before me. I felt sick to my stomach.

_Literally._

A moment later, I emptied everything that I had just ate into the toilet.

_Why cant I just die? It would be so much easier dead._

I literally feel as if I'm losing my mind. I feel like the world is out to get me, like the gods want me to see me suffer.

_From the moment I was conceived!_

My boyfriend dumps me over the phone.

_Over the goddamn phone!_

Weeks later, I come here, hoping that being around my friends will brighten my miserable life. Then I find out that I'm fucking pregnant and now one of my best friends is with my damn ex.

_My fucking baby daddy!_

I knew I had to get away. I couldn't stay here any longer, seeing him was hurting me all over again.

_Fuck!_

* * *

"Amy, will you get your ass in the car already?" I yelled.

Bella was suppose to go with us but bailed out because she wanted to spend her time with Ryan. Normally that would hurt me but the situation is anything but normal. In fact, I was actually relieved she chose not to come because it was already awkward being around her.

_But to be cooped up in a car with her for hours? Double awkward.  
_

"Sweetie, Las Vegas will still be there." Amy told me as she placed the bags in the trunk.

"True but we have reservations at Caesars' Palace. Check in is at eleven and if we continue at the speed that you're going, we won't make it on time."

_The sooner I get away from Bella and Ryan, the better._

Amy laughed, "Since when are you ever on time for anything?" She continued laughing as she closed the trunk and climbed into the car.

_Again, so true._

We would've stayed at either of our family Villas in Las Vegas but we wanted to feel independent. And by renting a hotel room felt like the first step to branching away from the parentals.

_Anywhere but the Mirage._

"Amy, honey, you know I love you but if you say another word about me being late for everything, I will toss you on the side of the road."

"You wouldn't dare."

I turned to her with a big smile, "You're right! Fuck Amy! I so hate you, you know that?" I nudged her shoulder.

"Lily, you know you love me!" she giggled.

_Omg._

I rolled my eyes, putting petal to the metal, as we burned rubber out of there.

* * *

"Amy, can you get my video camera? I want you to record this." I asked, glancing sideways.

"Where is it?"

"In my purse in the back seat."

She took off her seat belt and fumbled in the back seat for my purse. When she found it, she placed it on her lap and searched through it.

Suddenly, she gasped.

"You found it yet?" I asked.

From the corner of my eye, she pulled something out.

"What's this?" she asked.

I turned to see what it was that she was holding in her hand.

_Oh shit. Holy fucking shit!_

I felt the blood drain from my face and nearly swerved off road before regaining control.

"Nothing." I said, quickly snatching it from her grasp.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck!_

"Lily, don't you dare tell me that is nothing." She scoffed, "It's a pregnancy test."

_Um...duh._

"Alright, I got scared okay? I was a week late and I got scared." _Liar. _I flashed her my famous smile, "But its fine now. I had my period last week."

_Lying again._

"But the thing is p-"

I let out a nervous laugh, "Its probably broken. You can never trust those things, you know?"

_I thought I tossed it all in the box before throwing it all away? How did I miss this one? Fuck!_

"Who was it?"

_Ryan…?_

I sighed, "No one special. Just a really stupid mistake. That's all."

At this point, I'm glad I never told them about my relationship with Ryan. It was complicated from the beginning. Plus, I sort of half lied and told them about some romance I had with an Arabian guy back in Dubai.

_Of course it was totally fabricated but it made a really juicy story at the time._

"Please, don't let this stupid crap ruin our trip." I said, tossing the pee stick out the car. Then I turned to her with my pouty lips.

_Hopefully this still works…_

"Lets pretend that never happened then." she agreed. "But next time you have a pregnancy scare, come to me. You know I'll always be there for you."

"I know." I said, grabbing a hold of her hand, giving it a squeeze. "I know I can always come to you with those things."

_Just not this time._

* * *

I considered having an abortion. But I honestly still loved Ryan and as much as I loved Bella too, I wanted him back. I arranged for us to have lunch a few weeks later. I had to tell him, I mean he had a right to know.

"We shouldn't be doing this. Someone might see us." he said, sitting immediately.

I rolled my eyes, "The reason why I chose here was because we pay for the privacy."

"Lily, you know what I mean."

I clenched my fists. "You left me for her didn't you?"

He gritted his teeth, "We aren't having this conversation here."

I grabbed his hand, "Then where shall we do this huh? Your place? Bella's? Please, tell me where and we can go there right now!" I groaned.

"Lily, keep your voice down." he whispered, glancing around at the other customers. "I'm sorry okay? I didn't think that I would ever see you again."

"And that makes everything all better." I closed my eyes as I shook my head, "You're an asshole." I stood up, throwing the water in his face. "Oh and by the way, I'm having your baby." and then I walked out of there.

Just before reaching the exit doors, Ryan grabbed my arm, "Wait!"

I shoved him off of me, "Oh, now you want to talk?"

He gripped my shoulders, "You cant have the baby. You have to take care of it. I mean, I can pay for the…" he lowered his head, "…abortion-" he whispered.

"Since when have I ever needed your fucking money?" I pushed him away, "Fuck you Ryan! How dare you do this to me!"

"I love Bella, I cant-this will-"

I punched his face, "You're an asshole! You know, I waited around for almost a month for you! For a call, anything!" I screamed. "But here you are, fucking my best friend you sick ass wipe!" I pointed my finger at him, "But don't you worry Ryan, I wont hurt my friend, she will never know about us." I hissed. "But don't you think for one second that I will let your fucking ass tell me what to do!" I warned him.

_Never again._

* * *

I ran off to Paris to get away from everyone. I thought about having that abortion again and again but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I hated Ryan so much but I couldn't blame my unborn child for the mistake his father made. It wasn't fair to him.

A little over seven months later I gave birth to a blonde haired, blue eyed baby boy. He weighed in at nine pounds seven ounces. As much as I wanted to keep him, I knew I couldn't.

I was ashamed of myself. Everyone would want to know who the father is. And no matter how much I would try to deny, my son looks all over his daddy. I just couldn't bring myself to hurt Bella like that. So I chose the only option I felt that I had left.

_Adoption._

* * *

After signing the final forms, a nurse returned carrying a picture of him. I knew that this would be the only thing that I had left to remind me of him.

I held it close to my heart and turned onto my side as I cried myself to sleep.

_I will make him pay…one day._

* * *

**Present:**

Over the years, I had this love hate relationship with Ryan. I guess a part of me had hoped that if I could get Ryan back, then I could get my son back and we could be one happy family. But there was one person in the way of that dream.

_Bella._

Of course, now its far too late, I'm a vampire now. There is no Stepford wife or anymore children for me in my future. This is it-

_What the fuck?_ I stopped the car suddenly. _Why didn't I see this before?_

Then it hit me. It was always _her_ fault. If Ryan never met her, he would still be with me. And when I had told him about the pregnancy, if he wasn't with her, he would be with _me_. And I would still have my son.

_He only wanted me to have an abortion because she might find out._ I realized. _Fucking ass!_

She ruined my life. She stole _my_ Ryan and because of her I had to give up _my_ son. She was the reason why Ryan had rejected me for the last time. She was the root of the reason why I ran away to Las Vegas _again_.

_If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be this fucking vampire either!_

I cant believe that all this time I was so fucking blind. I blamed Ryan over and over. I wanted to ruin his life, to get back at him. And eventually I did. But really the truth was staring at me in the fucking face the whole time!

_I'm going to kill her._


	9. Definitely Not Me

**A/N: Read, review (or NOT lol!) && enjoy! ^.^**

* * *

I spent weeks trying to find Isabelle but came up with nothing. I searched their old apartment, which by the way, still looked like shit. But I came out just as clueless as I was going in. I didn't know where they could've gone.

_People don't just disappear...right?_

I'm not a hunter, nor was I in my human life. Sure, I had a heightened sense of smell and I could strangely see in the dark, similar to a cat. But Victor didn't teach me how to search for someone I once knew.

_I am literally like a helpless kitten, fending for myself and learning as I went along._

I began asking their neighbors but no one knows where they went. Most haven't seen them for months even. I didn't know how it was possible for someone to just disappear.

_Its as if they just vanished…without a trace._

Finally, just when I was about to give up, I decided to go to the parents. I mean, if Isabelle's dad didn't know where they went, guarantee Juliette had some insight. If she didn't know about Isabelle's whereabouts, she definitely knew about her daughter's and well, it's a no-brainer from there.

_Amy and Isabelle are practically like Siamese twins. Once I find Amy, Isabelle shouldn't be that far behind._

* * *

I walked up to the Stone's front door and waited.

"Yes?" Mary, their live in maid, asked with a thick Spanish accent as she held open the door. "Can I help you?"

"Mary…its me, Lily." I smiled sweetly, "Is Juliette here?"

For a moment, she stood there still. Then without another word, she just nodded.

"I'll get-excuse me Miss Lily." she closed the door immediately.

_Fuck, she must know I'm a vampire. _I thought as I lift my arm to smell my armpit. _Do I smell different or something?_

I wasn't sure whether or not I should just leave. I could only hope that if she does say anything to Juliette, she would believe_ my_ words over Mary's.

_Hopefully what's behind that door isn't a wooden stake in Juliette's hands._

A minute later the door opened to reveal Juliette Stone, thankfully, stake-free.

"Oh my god, it is you! I must be dreaming…" she gasped. "Lily!" she shrieked as she pulled me in for a hug. "Come in, come in. God, I didn't realize it was that cold out here!"

_No, not cold. I'm just dead._

"Mrs. Stone-" Mary hesitated.

"Please, Mary, we'll have our tea in the second living room." Juliette insisted as she dragged me along. "Where have you been? Are you okay? Did you see your father yet?" she babbled as she took a seat. "Oh my god, he must be so relieved to find out you're actually alive!"

I smiled, "I haven't saw him just yet." I told her, sitting across of her.

She frowned, "Well…it's a shame you didn't come home a bit earlier." she said softly. "I don't know how to tell you this but just a few weeks ago your mother had committed suicide. Your father was so devastated when he found out. Thankfully he wasn't the one who found her though, that would have given him a heart attack."

I gasped dramatically. "What? Why would my mother commit suicide?"

_Trust me, mother dearest didn't love me that much. I mean, if she even loved me at all._

Juliette shrugged, "Everyone thought that you were dead honey. I mean, the way your father found the Villa, it was a horrible mess."

_Poor daddy…_

"Well, I'm alive and well."

"Yes…thank God." She nodded, "If you don't mind me asking, what happened to you?"

I looked down, afraid of her seeing right through my lies. She knew me better than my own parents, even better than daddy, surely she knew when I was lying too.

"I was attacked by an animal." I partially lied. "But then a man found me and nursed me back to full health. I would've called home earlier but for a little while, I had temporary memory lost."

_Well, that's not like it's an entire lie. I just left out the part where that 'man' turned me into a vampire._

"Oh you poor thing! Why didn't he just take you to the hospital?" she leaned forward, gripping my hand. "Your hands are like ice!" she shrieked.

I pulled out from her grasp, "Yeah, my hands are freezing. Um..." I whispered. "...I'm actually trying to find Amy and Bella…"

Just then Mary walked in carrying a tray of tea and the Stone's fine china, placing it on the small table between us.

"Last I heard Bella still lived in that small town in Louisiana. Amy was there for a few months but then decided to move to New York, thank God." she said slightly bitter. _Mrs. Stone does not approve? Interesting._ "I don't have Bella's address but I do have Amy's. Maybe you could get Bella's address from Amy?" she suggested as she scribbled down Amy's address.

I nodded, "Okay, I'll do that." I said, taking the note from her.

_Small town? Doesn't sound like Bella or Amy, so this has got to be interesting._

"Oh and…" she paused, standing to her feet. "…guess who's getting married?" she asked cheerfully as she searched the nearby desk. After she retrieved what it was that she was looking for, she walked over to me, handing me a soft white envelope.

"Who?" I asked.

She took a seat, "Ryan."

I flinched.

_What the fuck?_

"How is that possible? He just broke up with Bella not too long ago. How the fu-how the hell is he getting married soon after?" I asked bitterly. Then without thinking, I blurted. "Bella…?"

She grinned, "I know, I was caught by surprised as well when he sent me an invitation. I mean,_ me_ of all people. I thought that it was much too soon as well. But no, he's not marrying Bella." she said, letting out a soft sigh of relief. "I heard that he's marrying a girl he just met a month or so ago." she paused. "And she has money." She added just before shaking her head. "Its actually a shame. I honestly believed he was meant for Bella. They were so good together. I would hate to-"

I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get out of there and fast. I couldn't stand another minute of Juliette going on and on about Ryan _and_ Bella.

_You have got to be fucking kidding me! I didn't come here to hear this shit!  
_

I stood up suddenly, shoving the invitation back into Mrs. Stone's hands.

"I'm sorry but I have to leave." I said immediately.

Without another word, I practically ran out of her house, leaving her front door wide open.

_Ryan…married?_ I thought in semi disbelief. _Fuck him!_

* * *

When I arrived at the address Mrs. Stone had given me, I was actually envious of Amy. Judging from the bitter tone in her mother's voice, I knew she didn't approve. And if Mrs. Stone didn't approve, guarantee she had cut her off financially. She would want Amy to do this on her own with hopes that she would eventually fail only to run back home for their help.

_She did it, Amy really did it. _

As much as I use to love being spoiled and having anything that I wanted handed to me literally on a sterling silver platter, I also wanted to break away and make it on my own as an independent woman.

_Not just the daughter of Mr. Montgomery. _

I wanted not only to provide for myself and make a future for my family but I also wanted to make a name for myself.

_Of course dreams of that future has been shelved. _I thought angrily as I took the elevator up. _Now I'm officially married to the night like a nun to her church.  
_

* * *

Amy opened the door slightly, "Yes?"

_Do I really look that different, not even my oldest friend could recognize me?_

"That's not a nice way to greet an old friend." I told her. "Well aren't you going to let me in?" I asked, partially irritated at the fact that she hadn't already done so.

"Um no…" she groaned as she closed the door by an inch. "Wait…Lily?" Amy watched me cautiously. I could tell that she was deep in thought. But after a moment, she continued. "This is a surprise…"

"Is it, really?" she just shrugged. "I know you hate me, I cant change that and I cant expect you to understand. But I'm not here for you."

"Well if you're looking for Bella, she's not here." she said, glaring at me. "You know what? I have something that I always wanted to say, just never knew how to." After a short pause, she continued. "Just before I moved here, I found a video of the three of us. I think we were about sixteen maybe." She thought about it and nodded. "Yeah, we were sixteen. Anyway, when I was watching it, I couldn't believe that the girl in that video with us was _you_. Never had I imagined this was how you would turn out."

I crossed my arms over my chest, "And please, tell me, how did I turn out? I'm just _dying_ to know how much of a fuck up I am."

"Ryan." was all she had to say for me to understand what she was referring to.

_If only she knew the whole story._

I wasn't fucking him to hurt Bella. I only did it to show her what kind of man he really was. The type that left me to be with another. He even offered to murder a child that we made together because he had to get rid of the evidence.

_He isn't the perfect man everyone thinks he is._

"You will never understand." I hissed.

"Well please…explain it to me then. I mean, now that I think about it, it was him who had gotten you pregnant years ago right?" I just rolled my eyes. "Oh don't act like I didn't find that pregnancy stick in your damn bag. You knew who he was the moment you walked into our living room didn't you?"

"Where is she?" I asked, changing the subject.

I could tell her the truth but knowing Amy, she wouldn't believe me anyway. I'm the enemy, the outsider, always have been.

_There really was no point in trying._

"Like I said before, she's not here and no, I don't know where she is." she groaned.

_She's lying._

"Ryan's getting married." I said instead, trying to see what she has to say about that.

_Maybe she knew, maybe she didn't._

Her eyes widened, "Oh my god, please tell me its not to Bella."

I wanted to smile at that, but I couldn't shake this anger that continued to build.

"He's not marrying Bella for crying out loud! He's marrying some fucking cunt that he just met!" I growled, literally, as my fangs simply popped out faster than I expected.

_Fuck._

Amy stepped back, "Well, tell him that I wish him and his new wife the best." she said quickly just before slamming her door shut, locking it behind her.

_Great...now she knows.  
_

* * *

I had a gut feeling that Amy was lying so for the next two weeks, I watched her like a hawk. I knew her nightly routine, weeknights she spent here at her suite, weekends she would spend with her lover. Majority of the time, she ordered takeout. And only on Wednesdays she would go on a dinner date with this lover of hers.

_And this is the life I wanted?_ I thought to myself one night as I yawned. _How boring._

Sometimes he would join her during the week, but only for a few hours at a time.

_I don't have to be a rocket scientist to know he is just there for sex. _I thought to myself. _Fuck man, this is so unfair. I have needs too. _

Being a vampire makes you so much more hornier than ever before. And believe me, since being a vampire, I never had sex with anyone and its starting to drive me crazy.

_I feel like a born again virgin. A very horny one at that._

Its like this blood that runs through my veins heightened all of my senses. I can hear my surroundings within a mile radius. I can identify each species from not only sound but smell as well, which I can pick up with the slightest breeze. I have perfect eye sight and I can see well into the night when hunting.

_Fuck, I'm getting hungry too._ I groaned mentally as I switched my weight to my other leg. _What could happen in an hour?_ I mentally weighed my options. _Fuck it._

* * *

I went to the nearest bar and found the most attractive looking guy in there. Not only was I attracted to his physical features but his scent as well. Something about a man that smells like a hard working man just turned me on. I could literally imagine him sweating, wearing nothing but a pair of jeans.

_And I do mean nothing else if you catch my drift._ I moaned out loud as I walked up to a tall, dark haired guy. _Hopefully he works just as hard in bed as he do at his job._

"You here alone?" I asked.

He turned around and smiled, "Depends."

"Listen, I'm not here to talk, I only want to fuck." I growled as I cupped his jeans. _Big enough. _"Now, I'll ask you again. Are you here alone?"

* * *

After the third time, he laid next to me exhausted, breathing heavily.

"Don't stop." I groaned, rolling onto him.

He laughed, "I cant keep going. You have to give me time to rest. I mean we fucked three times in a row already and I ate you out too before this." he reminded me. "Twice."

I gripped his hands, "But I'm so fucking horny. I want more! I just got to have it!" I told him, flicking his nipple with my tongue. "Please? Once more?" I begged as I peered up from his chest.

He shook his head, "I cant. Maybe you should leave." he suggested.

I sat up, "Is that really what you want?"

He nodded, "I think that whatever you're looking for, I'm not the guy to satisfy those needs."

_Great._ I thought as I laid beside him. _Even a stranger can clearly see how damaged I am._

"Is it that obvious?" I asked, looking up at the ceiling.

He chuckled, "I cant match your appetite. I'm sorry, I really am."

I slowly sat up, "No, I was only trying to catch up on what I've been missing out on." I told him as I slipped off of the bed to put back on my clothes.

_Time to go. This intimate convo is wigging me out._

"You're not from here are you?"

I shook my head as I pulled out three hundreds. "Nope." I said, tossing them on the bed. "Thanks..._buddy_."

* * *

Just when I turned the corner to Amy's place, I saw Ryan with a woman in his arms.

_What the fuck?_ I thought, quickly ducking back behind the brick wall.

Peeking from behind the wall, I saw Amy and her lover not far behind them. They were about to get into a limousine.

_What do we have here...?_

"I think this is a bad idea." Amy whispered to her lover as she gripped his hand tightly.

"Oh come on, this is an old friend of yours. I'm sure he just wants to catch up."

She shrugged as she glanced around. "I don't know…"

"Why do I get a sense that you don't really like him?"

She looked down at her feet, "Its too long of a story."

It took another second for me to register who that unknown woman was in the arms of a man I once loved.

_Asshole._

Ryan helped his _fiancé _get into the limo and turned around, "Hey, you guys coming?" Then he got in after her.

Amy looked up and smiled as she looked into the limo, "Yeah, in a second." she yelled.

"Don't worry. I'll be there. We could always leave if you're not comfortable." her man suggested.

"Okay…" she nodded, seconds later, getting into the limo.

My anger boiled over.

_Fucking fuck fucker! _I mentally screamed as my fists collided with the brick wall.

Seeing Ryan with that bitch made me more pissed off than seeing him with Bella. I guess it was because I knew that she was the one that he chose to marry.

_Not Bella and definitely not me. _

He told both of us that he loved us at one point in time and yet look at where we stand.

_I'm going to make him pay in more ways than one._

I turned around and ran for miles before stopping mid alley. Flashes of the past clouded my vision and I took my anger out on the nearest object.

Moments later a man approached, "Hey, are you okay?"

My head shot up and before I could stop myself, I attacked him, draining him dry.

_Preying on a lonely woman in a dark alley?_ I thought angrily afterwards as I watched the life drain from his eyes. _How un fucking original!_


	10. The Bodyguard

**A/N: Read, review, && enjoy! ^.^  
**

* * *

I never knew that my anger would take over my life. After finding out Amy and her lover ran off to Mexico with Ryan and his soon to be wife, I couldn't think of anything else but killing. All I wanted to do was kill every man who chose to walk down the same alley as me, who chose to talk to me, or even looked at me. I did this because maybe, just maybe, he was a rapist in the making and I could eliminate the odds of another woman suffering what I had to endure.

_I guess in a way, this was my way of paying it forward._

* * *

Until one night…

I wondered down a dark alley, letting my fingers slowly graze the bricks as I let the night breeze caress my skin.

"Omi?" a male called out into the night. "Omi, is that you?"

I stopped suddenly as I turned around. "Are you calling me?" I asked, sort of shocked.

"What are you doing here? I thought you died?"

_How did he know…_

"How do I know you?" I asked him, skeptical that this was someone familiar.

_Be careful. This could be a hook._

Suddenly, he began jogging towards me but stopped a few feet away.

_Be careful, he's a big guy._ I mentally warned myself.

"I'm sorry. I thought you were someone I once knew." he said almost breathlessly.

_Fucking liar._

I grinned at him, stepping closer. "Do you normally go up to women in dark alleys claiming they were someone you knew?" I asked him in an icy tone.

"No." he said, taking a step back.

"Why don't I believe you?" I asked him bitterly, closing the gap between us in seconds.

_He reeks of liquor._ I noted as I inhaled his scent.

"Listen, I'm drunk, I was just going to-"

"Was going to what? Rape me? Is that it?" I shook my head. "It's a shame actually, you're kind of cute too." I said, now gripping his arms.

"Before you drain me, could you at least give me something?" he asked hesitantly.

_Oh my, he is a smart boy._

"Depends."

_Or very stupid._

"I want to at least know the name of my killer."

_How amusing. _

I couldn't help but laugh. "Lily."

Without another thought, I bit into his neck faster than he could blink. But the taste of his blood on my tongue was _different_. He wasn't anything like I ever tasted before. The only thing that came to mind when I drank from his was a grilled burger.

Seconds later, he gripped my hair, which I wasn't anticipating, and he yanked me off of him with strength as equal if not greater than mine.

_He's a strong fucker. _I thought as I struggled trying to latch back onto him.

Then before I knew it, he tossed me into the brick wall as if he was tossing the core of an apple.

_What the fuck?_

I quickly got up, disappearing into the shadows. I had one advantage on him and that was the night.

_Hopefully._

I circled him, jumping from one shadow to the other as I tried to think what my next move was going to be. I could smell his blood now in the air.

_His 'grilled burger' flavor blood._

He padded his pants and stopped to pull out his cell phone.

_Calling for help? _

"You're a tricky little punk aren't you?" I whispered from the shadows. "What are you?"

"What's your damage woman?" he groaned as he turned around.

_He has heightened hearing…interesting._

I circled him again as I laughed, "Damage? What makes you think I'm a damaged woman?"

"You prey on the men who just so happen to be walking down the same alley as you."

_Close…_

"No, I prey on the _men_ who prey on vulnerable women like me." I corrected.

_More like the woman who I use to be._ I thought to myself as I pounced on him from behind.

But he anticipated that move and turned in my direction swiftly, gripping me by my throat, crushing it. For a moment I was paralyzed.

_Shit…_

Suddenly, within his hands ignited flames, burning my skin, bringing me back rudely.

_What the fuck is he?_

I screamed in horror as the pain escalated and began kicking him. A moment later, the burnt skin around my neck crusted as the weight of my body peeled off that damaged layer. I knew that this was going to be even more painful but I had only one option left. Without another thought, I squirmed out from his grasp, leaving behind the burnt layer of skin as I disappeared back into the shadows.

_Fuck! What am I going to do now?_ I thought angrily as I reached up to feel my raw neck. _Oh I am going to get his big fucking ass!_

"You're going to pay for that!" I hissed from within the shadows.

I knew that he was growing weaker with every moment as he bled out from his neck wound. It was only a matter of time before the effects kicked in.

_Wait for it…_

Then just like clockwork, he closed his eyes. I knew this was my chance and without further hesitation, I tackled him. I bit into his neck and fed from him angrily as I tore away his flesh.

I thought he was gone until out of nowhere he whispered, "Naomi…" he paused. "…I'm coming home."

Seconds afterwards a light breeze brought a scent that I hadn't smelt in months. My head shot up as I glanced behind me.

_Bella…_

I began running down the alley and turned the corner, just passing her. I couldn't believe that for once, the odds had shifted in my favor.

"Hello?" she called out into the alley as she walked further in.

I stayed in the shadows, keeping my distance as I watched her.

"Are you…alive?" she asked the nearly dead guy, getting closer to his body.

Suddenly, from the dark, next to a pile of trash bags, a phone began ringing.

_His phone._

I could see that she was hesitant but after a second, she ran towards it, answering it on the third ring.

"Hello?"

From the other line, I could hear a very familiar voice. "Isabelle? Is that you?"

Bella turned her head to the side, "Juliette?"

_How the hell does Juliette know him?_

I heard Juliette laugh, soft and sweet. "Well who do you think it is? You left me a message earlier. Where are y-"

Before Juliette could finish her question, Bella dropped the phone and ran to the body.

"Cristiano, hey, stay with me." she said loudly as she placed his head on her lap.

_Well I'll be damned, she knows this fucker too. _I thought slightly irritated. _Could Juliette had hired Bella a bodyguard?_

She quickly checked for a pulse. Seconds later, she placed her ear towards his mouth. Then she began inspecting his body, lifting his shirt.

"Juliette! Listen to me! Call an ambulance!" she screamed as she yelled out the address.

_No, her reaction is a little too personal for him being_ just_ a bodyguard_. I grinned widely._ Was this her man? Her new man?_

"What the hell did you do?" she asked him. "Shit!" she shrieked a moment later, pressing a hand over his neck wound. "This is just great."

Without further hesitation, she quickly slipped off the sweater she was wearing, pressing it to his wound.

_She must care for the man. _I concluded after observing.

"Cristiano, you stay with me! Don't you dare leave me here alone!" she screamed, clearly panicking.

I stepped out into the light but saw her flinch. Before she turned around, I ducked back into the shadows.

"Listen, whoever you are, you better not come any closer. Help is on the way. So I suggest you leave." she yelled out to me. "And I'm pretty sure you're a vampire, so if you know any better then you would know that sunrise is in about an hour, maybe less." she warned me. "Cristiano, hold on for me, okay?" she whispered as she turned back to him.

_Oh Ryan…you're in for one hell of a treat. _I thought to myself as I ran off into the night, my laughter haunting the empty streets. _Two birds, one stone._


	11. Waiting Game

**A/N: Thank you for reading! Now without further adieu...**

**Read, review, && enjoy! ^.^  
**

* * *

I knew that now, it was just the matter of waiting.

_A waiting game._

And I had all the time in the world thanks much to my immortality. I wanted to seek revenge on Ryan and on Bella. I knew that if I got to Bella first, that would also be a blow to Ryan as well.

_Two birds, one stone. _I thought to myself. _And if Ryan loves her as much as I think he did, this could kill him…slowly._

I've been watching Bella and Amy for some time now. I knew Bella would cry to Amy just like she always did as a child. So, of course, Amy ran back to New York when Bella called.

_Oh how loyal._

Amy, on the other hand, has been two timing her human lover with a live in vampire lover.

_I never knew she had it in her. Really.  
_

All the while Amy was entangled, Bella chose to play house with my recovering victim.

The question was…

_Does Bella still love Ryan enough for my plan to play out?_

I figured now was the time to set my new plan in motion. You would be surprised at how easy it was for me to get a new ID and a scent masking perfume out here on the streets of New York.

_Thank you Victor for your simple lessons._

* * *

Paying a visit to Amy will let them know that I was back and ready to strike, again.

_Actually, I never left._

"Well…hello there." I grinned at the woman exiting Amy's suite wearing a maid's uniform.

_Kinky._ I thought to myself as I observed the circumstances before me.

Not only was Amy screwing a human but this vampire as well. At the same time, here he was screwing this _maid_ too.

_What a fucked up group. _I mentally laughed to myself. _Maybe they all know about each other..._

"Goodnight sir." she whispered, trying her best to avoid eye contact with me as she hurried towards the elevator.

For a moment, he stood there, watching me cautiously.

"Why are you here?" asked a handsome blonde vampire.

I will admit this, Amy had great fucking taste when it came to men. As I soaked in the sight of him, I could sense he was much older than me.

_Just a taste? I mean, it looks as if we all have something in common.  
_

I grinned, "Is that a way to greet a friend of Amy's?"

"Is that right?" he asked, semi amused.

I stepped forward but felt a void, forcing me back.

_Fuck it._

"You have thirty seconds to start talking." he warned, clearly irritated.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Or what? The big, bad vamp will eat me?" _Yeah right…_ "Just tell Amy I was here okay?"

Without another word, he closed the door in my face.

_On second thought, fuck him. Asshole._

* * *

I looked up and watched as the elevator counted down the floors.

_One…lobby._

Then the bell to the elevator ringed, alerting me my floor was approaching. Seconds later the doors opened to reveal Bella.

My lips curved upward into a toothy grin.

"I wasn't expecting to see you here." I lied

_Just who I wanted to see._

It took a long moment to take in the new me before she retorted.

"Touché." she said calmly. "What brings you here? Last I heard you were at your parents villa." she hissed.

_My parents villa._ I thought angrily, memories of my last hour there flashed through my mind. _Where it all began._

"I didn't realize we were on speaking grounds." I said, stepping out from the elevator.

"Just because we left things the way we did doesn't mean we cant be civilize." she sighed dramatically. _Why should I take her fucking advice? The last time we spoke, this bitch cussed me out. Fuck her and her 'civilize' bullshit._ "Is Amy up there?" she continued.

I could hear her heart racing. I knew for a fact that I intimidated her.

_Good._

I grinned, "I was wondering that myself."

_Maybe Amy wasn't up for any visitors after having a threesome?  
_

She looked at me and frowned, "Um, okay, I take that as a no."

"Amy isn't home but her vampire boyfriend is."

"Eric?" she laughed. "Yeah right. I never met her fiancé yet but I can tell you right now from what she's told me, he's very much human." she shrugged. "I don't think marrying a vampire is legal just yet."

_Fiancé? What the fuck?_

"Amy is getting married?" I asked, shocked. "Why didn't she tell me?"

I could tell that she was regretting saying anything to me. But I couldn't help but feel hurt that I wasn't told. I mean, I kept my promise to name my son after Bella, just like we agreed to years before even though things between us was fucked up.

_Fiancé? I may not need an invite but she could've at least told me about it._

"I just found out about it myself." she quickly said. "Maybe she is hoping to have lunch with you before sharing the wonderful news." _Lunch? I'm a fucking vampire. _"Well, I better get going." she mumbled, turning around to call for the elevator.

"Did you know Ryan is getting married as well?"

_I'm not letting this bitch get me side tracked, not this time. _

"I heard about it."

_So that vampire is Eric? The Eric Ryan told me about? _I thought to myself as I mentally replayed the memories of my past in my mind. _Interesting._

"So that's _the _Eric…_your_ Eric. The _vampire_." I said, putting the pieces of the puzzle together.

"Excuse me?"

I winked at her, "Until we meet again." I said before disappearing into the dark streets of New York.

* * *

**Past:**

"Did you know that Bella is fucking a vampire?" Ryan screamed at me as he shoved his way into my apartment.

I rolled my eyes as I closed the door, "Come in."

_Just when I thought things between us was back on track, here we go again._

"Juliette called me a few days ago, telling me Bella was back in town." he groaned. "I went over to her place hoping to speak with her and then that dead thing showed up!"

I sighed, walking back to my couch, "What are you talking about again?" I asked, bored out of my fucking mind.

"That vampire!" he screamed, "And I know she's letting him eat her!"

I wanted to cover my ears until he was done venting.

_Great…now I have to hear him bitch too?_

"Ryan, honey, don't take this the wrong way but please explain to me how this is any of your concern?"

_Last I checked, they were over and he was here warming my bed at night, not hers._

His eyes captured mine and if looks could kill, I would be about as dead as the vampire hes rambling about right now.

"Eric, he is a vampire. He could kill her if he wanted to." he groaned. "I love her still and I cant just stand here and let-"

_He just had to go there._

I stood up grunting and now pissed the fuck off, "Oh my god! Will you listen to yourself? She doesn't want you back, she clearly moved on!" I screamed, "I'm sorry Ryan, but its about fucking time that you face those facts. Its about time that you moved on as well." _And its time that I face the fact that he will never be mine. _"Why are you even here?" I asked in an icy tone.

_So over this damn kiddy games._

He shrugged not sure where to start. "I don't know."

"Well leave. You don't want me, Bella doesn't want you, guess we all don't get what we want." I told him. "Just leave already and leave me alone. I'm done being the woman you run to just to get your rocks off. I'm done waiting around for someone who will never want me back. I'm just done…"

He gritted his teeth, "Lily, you don't mean that."

I scoffed, "I don't? I met you several years ago in Vegas! We had a world wind romance that lasted over a year!" I exclaimed, "Then out of the blue and…" I scoffed, "…over the phone, you break it off with me! Over the fucking _phone_? Really?" I shook my head. "Oh but that's not the best part. You dumped me for my _best friend _and when you found out that I was pregnant with _your_ son, you wanted me to abort him!" I wiped away the tears that ran down my cheek as I hugged myself. "Never did I imagine all those times that we made love meant nothing to you. I never imagined that in the end, you would reject me and our child that we made together _before_ Bella." I gritted my teeth, "Ryan, I do mean it. I'm tired already. Its time that you leave."

He frowned as he looked down at me, "I wish that I could love you back the way I once did but I cant."

I smiled through my pain, "I don't." I told him just before retreating to my room.

* * *

_But I did. _I told myself as I balled my eyes out. _I do…_

I only said those things because I was trying to be strong in front of him. I wanted him to love me the way that he loves Bella. I wanted him to fight for me the way that he fought for her. I didn't understand why she meant more to him than I ever did.

_I saw him first. _

I wish that I could rewind my life. I wish that I could go back to that night in Vegas and change that one moment. The moment where I let him into my life and into me.

"I wish that I never met him…" I whispered angrily.

_I need to get out of here and away from this bullshit._ I thought about it. _Vegas._

* * *

**Present:**

I waited from a distance and watched for Bella. Not long after I left, I saw Cristiano go into the building only to exit furious.

_Trouble in paradise?_

About ten minutes after her boyfriend left, Bella did as well. But back to his place is where she wasn't going. Instead, I followed her to a hotel.

_Looks like something happened and hiding her face in this cheap hotel is her last resort. _I grinned widely, basking in her despair. _Wow Bella, I didn't think you could be such a whore, but you managed to pull that off with such perfection._

"And my plan is back on track…" I whispered to myself as I walked up to the concierge. "That woman who was just here, Isabelle Knight?"

He raised a brow before nodding. "Yes?"

I smiled, "Could you do me a favor?"

He leaned forward, "If you think I'm going to give you a key to her room-"

I chuckled, "No, no, I wouldn't ask that of you." I shook my head, "I actually want you to give her a note in the morning." I told him as I reached for his pen, "Could you do that?" I asked as I grabbed the hotel stationary next to the monitor.

"Sure, I could give her-"

I held up a finger, "But she mustn't receive this note until morning, understand?" I pressed him.

He nodded, "Morning, understood."

I smiled widely as I wrote down ten simple words.

'_He isn't the perfect man that you think he is…Lily.'_

I folded the note, slipping a twenty between the folds and handed it to him. He reached for it.

"And if you fuck this up, I know what you look like and I know what you smell like. I will come back for you…" I warned him, flashing him my toothy grin. "Morning. Isabelle Knight." I reminded him.

He gulped as he nodded repeatedly, "Yes ma'am."

_See you in Mexico Bella…_


	12. Die Another Day

**A/N: Thanks sooo much for reading! Of course if you already read my previous stories, you know what's coming. Again, this is through the eyes of Lily, my baby vamp ;  
**

**I do not claim the rights to any of the characters from the Southern Vampire Mysteries or True Blood! Read, review, && enjoy! ^.^**

* * *

I took the next flight to Mexico via Anubis Air Airlines. I left specific instructions to take my coffin to the nearest hotel that catered to vampires until the sun had set.

_If I know Bella, she will come running. It was just a matter of time._

When the sun finally set, I ventured out to find Ryan. I didn't want to be noticed so I wore a black wig and masked my scent.

_You can never be too sure who she's working with._

* * *

I watched from a distance as Bella showed up just as I predicted with a Were on her arm.

_She's in this supernatural world more deeper than I realized. _I thought. _But what is she?_

"Please, stay awhile." Ryan told her. He was parasitically drooling. _Loser._ "Join us for dinner."

From behind, his bitch approached, "Yes, please do." she said in what I would assume was an attempt to sound sexy as she ran her hand down his arm. "Honey, who are your friends?"

_Friends? You will bite your tongue when you realize who Bella really is._ I smiled to myself as I sat on the nearby bench slightly enjoying the show. _And what she really means to him._

"Oh, um Beverly, this is Isabelle and…" Ryan began, clearing his throat.

The Were stepped forward to shake their hands, "Alcide." he said.

_Alcide, huh…_

Ryan's bitch looked down at Alcide's hand and backed away immediately.

_Oh…she's one of those stuck up bitches I hated hanging around with._

With fast thinking, Bella took over, stepping in front of him, placing his hand on her hip.

_Nice…_

I couldn't help but bask as I watched Ryan suffer.

_He deserves every second._

I know his bitch could feel the tension between her future husband and Bella. You would have to be dumb, deaf, and blind as a fucking bat not to notice it.

_With me, I just didn't give a fuck. Simple as that._

"Oh sweetheart, we don't have to." Bella told Alcide in a soft, yet seductive tone. "It might be too awkward for you being around my ex." she added with a chill.

This time, I couldn't hold back my laughter when I saw the icy glare Ryan's bitch gave Bella. Of course my bubble burst when some idiot blocked my view.

I stood up, "What the fuck?" I growled.

The woman turned around slowly, "Excuse me?"

"You're in my way bitch. Cant you see me sitting here?" I hissed. "Or what, your rich ass is blinded by that fake CZ diamond necklace you're wearing?"

She scoffed as she placed her hand over her _diamond_ necklace, "You know what? Screw you." she exclaimed as she gripped her purse, walking away.

_Fuck. Now where did they go?_ I groaned out loud as I searched the crowd.

* * *

Finding my way into the banquet hall was easier than I thought. I never been to a wedding so I never knew how many single men would be here flying solo. But Lady Luck was on my side and for once, things was still going my way.

"Hey there sexy mama." said a very familiar drunk idiot. "Want to be my date tonight? What we do afterwards is entirely up to you."

I turned around slowly, mentally thanking myself for wearing this skin hugging jeans.

_I cant believe Ryan is still friends with this asshole._

I grinned back at him as I ran my hand down is tie, "Oh honey, you've read my mind."

* * *

At some point during the dinner I wondered to myself whether or not I should drain this fucker too.

_This world could do with one less idiot around. _

I remember him all to well from that night in Las Vegas.

_And some things I wish I didn't._

In fact, if it wasn't for his drunken slur, I wouldn't have spoken to any of them including Ryan. I would've went back to my room and slept the night away.

_No Ryan and definitely no fucked up vampire life._

But as I listened to him talk about nothing but himself and money, I figured its idiots like him that help the world go round. If it wasn't for prime examples of who not to date, we wouldn't know how to differ the asshole from the future husband.

_And trust me, he is so not husband material._

"Excuse me." an older man said over the PA system. "Sorry to interrupt everyone's dinner but can I have everyone's attention for just one moment please?" he asked, pausing as he gave the crowd time to settle. "In a few moments we will take the party out to the terrace. That is where we will have the reception tomorrow." he informed us. "Of course the reception will take place while the sun is still in the sky so you will be able to see the beautiful beach." that received a few cheers from the already intoxicated crowd including Asshole right next to me. "Thank you for joining the lovely couple this evening and have a wonderful night."

I stood up, "Would love to stay and listen to your ridiculous life but I have someone I need to kill." I told Asshole. "But thank you." I said to him as I kissed his cheek. "You reminded me why I came here." I whispered in his ear just before following the crowd out to the terrace.

* * *

Sitting there on the beach, staring at the only picture I had of my son, I remembered the one and only time I had to hold him.

"_Giving you up will be my greatest sacrifice and the biggest mistake of my life." I told my smiling son as uncontrolled tears ran down my face. "I wish that I loved you more than I could ever love your father."_

Now that I look back, I wish that I had said those words to Ryan rather than him.

_It wasn't Knight's fault that I was love sick. _

It was my choice to have sex, protected or not. I had money to my name, I could've easily provided a good life for him. Abortion was an option but never _my _choice.

_I know that would haunt me more than giving him up has ever did._

Since that day, I never felt the same again.

_Its as if he took a part of me with him. _

I felt empty and depressed and was told many times by the doctors and nurses that this was normal. But honestly nothing about what I went through should ever be considered _normal_. The bond between mother and child has been severed unnaturally. I have since been an emotional mess inside.

_Finding a husband or even starting a family could never fill that void deep within my heart._

But I'm not only angry with myself, I'm angry at Ryan and Bella too.

_Even though Bella never knew about him, she was still to blame and should now know._

It was because of them I did what I thought was the better option. I was young and very selfish in my desires. The heart wants what it wants and obviously not even my own child could convince me otherwise.

_And still that's no excuse._

I abandoned my baby with fear and shame of anyone finding out the truth about us. I hoped that because of my sacrifice, Ryan would see how much love I had for him. I hoped that he would see exactly what lengths I would go just for him.

_But Ryan never did. _

Instead, as time passed, my heart hardened. Now I have to live with the pain of knowing what I've done and why I've done it. The guilt and shame that I feel will never be understood by anyone but me and that sickens me to my core.

_But don't worry Knight, I will make them suffer just as I suffered all this time._

* * *

From the side of my eye I saw a woman toss her heels onto the sand as she slowly descended toward the ocean. The night breeze carried her scent to me and I knew that this was the moment, it was _my_ moment.

_Its Showtime._ I thought wickedly as my fangs extracted.

With swift steps, I stealthily approached her. I glanced around and knew that she was alone. I had ten maybe fifteen minutes to end this once and for all.

_Ryan will now know what its like to lose someone he loved._

"I was wondering when you were going to show up." I said from behind.

I could hear her heart beat rising. I could smell her fear. Her scent was so potent, I could almost taste it.

Without another word, I grabbed Bella by her arms and threw her across the sand like a football. When her body hit the sand, I heard the wind knock out of her. She immediately turned onto her back, gasping for air.

_Humans are so damn fragile. _I thought as I pounced on her. _How they live day to day is beyond explanation._

I glared down at her and for a short moment saw the young girl that had befriended me all those years ago. But then the haunting cries of my infant son brought me back to reality and I bit into her neck, tearing away like a savage beast. I greedily fed from her and felt strangely addicted.

_What the fuck is she?_

Her blood is not like anything that I've ever tasted before. It was sweet and smooth like milk chocolate and yet tainted with a hint of sunshine.

_If that makes sense._

As I tore apart her flesh and drank the life from her, the more I could scent her difference. I began feeling the hunger pains and craved for more.

_Her blood is like a fucking party in my mouth._

Her gurgled scream shook me back to the here and now. Of course not in time to anticipate her hands digging into my face, literally clawing her way under my skin.

I immediately jumped back as I growled at her, snapping like a wounded animal.

_Fuck!_

Blood was flowing from every wound I had just made. Strangely enough, I didn't realize I had did such damage to her.

_Its her blood._

As I cautiously watched from a short distance, she pressed a hand to her neck as she struggled to get back onto her feet. I knew I didn't have to do much now because it was only a matter of time before she croaked. So I decided to let her stumble her way back to the terrace.

_You will die before you get at least half way there. _I thought smugly as I straightened up.

"Why?" she faintly asked.

I stood there, watching her, wondering how the fuck could she be so fucking naïve.

Amusingly disappointed, I burst into laughter.

"You really didn't figure it out yet? He hadn't told you?" I shook my head. "It was always because of you!" I screamed, feeling my anger rise. "Ryan and I was together long before you met him. And then out of the blues, he just ends it. No explanation, nothing! After all I've done, he couldn't at least give me that?"

Her knees gave in as she collapsed onto the sand.

_Oh no you don't._

I walked over to her and kneeled beside her as I gripped her face.

"Don't die on me just yet. You haven't heard the whole story." I laughed as I slapped her face. "We met in Vegas, while he was on his _boys_ weekend getaway bullshit. Anyways, he ends it…over the phone like the asshole I know he is. Then I find out you're with him. Isn't that a bitch." I sighed. _Right after I found out I was pregnant too._ "It didn't take long for him to come back to me though. Its sad actually."

"No…" she gurgled.

"Before your heart comes to a complete stop, I want you to hear this." I told her as I pulled out the picture of my son from my back pocket, shoving it in her face. "This is my son." I whispered. "The reason why Amy and I went on that last trip to Vegas was because I needed to get the fuck out of that city and away from him, from you." I shook my head. "Do you know what he wanted me to do when I told him that I was pregnant?" I asked her. "He wanted me to have an abortion. He wanted me to 'take care' of it." I crumpled the picture within my hand as I punched the ground beside her head. "He didn't want to risk losing you. That asshole!"

"…_I'm sorry okay? I didn't think that I would ever see you again."_

_I closed my eyes as I shook my head, "You're an asshole." I stood up, throwing the water in his face. "Oh and by the way, I'm having your baby." and then I walked out of there._

_Just before reaching the exit doors, Ryan grabbed my arm, "Wait!"_

_I shoved him off of me, "Oh, now you want to talk?"_

_He gripped my shoulders, "You cant have the baby. You have to take care of it. I mean, I can pay for the…" he lowered his head, "…abortion-" he whispered._

_I pushed him away, "Fuck you Ryan! How dare you do this to me!"_

"_I love Bella, I cant-this will-"_

_I punched his face, "You're an asshole! You know, I waited around for almost a month for you! For a call, anything!" I screamed. "But here you are, fucking my best friend you sick ass wipe!"_

"But I made sure I got his ass back. I planned that night perfectly. I knew you and Amy would be back just in time." I told her as I laughed wickedly, glaring down at her.

_I opened the door, not at all surprised to see Ryan standing in the hall._

"_What are you doing here?" he asked, surprised._

_I smiled at him, "Waiting on my friends. We're suppose to have dinner." I told him, stepping aside. "I take it you're joining us as well?"_

_He shrugged, walking pass me. "Bellas not here?" _

_I turned around as I shook my head, closing the door behind me. _

"_Wont be for awhile." I whispered as I walked up to him, running my hands down his chest. "I miss you Ryan." I moaned as I began caressing my own body. _

"_That night was a mistake. I was drunk and-" he said, stepping back._

"_You're lying. You know you missed me." I whispered, closing the gap, wrapping my arms around his neck. "You told me so yourself. She doesn't do the things that I did for you…" I let my lips linger next to his. "She doesn't know that you love when I grab you like this…" I paused as I shoved my hand down his pants, gripping his dick and balls. "…remember how I could put you to sleep just by playing with these?" I whispered, licking his lips as he began growing within my grasp. "You miss me, I can tell."_

"_Lily…" he moaned as he closed his eyes._

_I grinned up at him, "Tell me you want me baby. Tell me you need me. Tell me that you miss being inside me and I will make all your dreams come true."_

Yeah right.

_He pulled my hand out from his pants and lifted me by my waist, pressing his lips against mine. His hands and mouth hungered for my touch unlike ever before as we made our way to the couch. _

_He lifted my shirt, pulling it up and over my head as he tossed it on the side. I helped him unbutton his shirt as he cupped my breasts, nipping at my bra. _

"_Wait…" I whispered, holding him back by his shoulders. "…I want to remember this moment." I said, grinning as I slowly slipped the shirt off of his shoulders and down his arms, tossing it towards the door._

_Then I slipped off of him, releasing the button to my jeans. _

"_Lily-"_

_I pressed my finger to his lips, "Wait for it baby…" _

_I caressed his smooth chest just before gripping the band of his pants. I kissed his chest as I unbuttoned his pants and pulled down the zipper._

"_Come here." Ryan demanded as he grabbed my arms, pulling me back onto his lap. "I want you Lily." he whispered as he looked at me. _

_I smiled back at him, "I know."_

_And then we picked up where we left off. _

_A few minutes later, just when Ryan was about to take it to the next level, I heard the door open._

"_Ryan?" Isabelle said, voice empty._

_I looked up at Ryan and for that split second, I mentally paused this moment. I wanted to remember the look of pure horror on his face when he realized that he had just lost Bella. I wanted to bask in this motherfucking moment when he realized that he couldn't have his fucking cake and eat it too because payback is a real bitch._

"The look on his face was worth it though." I sighed, wishing I had video taped it or something. "Then you disappeared changing things between the two of us. I felt like we were getting close once again. It felt as though we were going back to how it use to be. He confided in me in ways no other man had..." I paused. "But then you come back in our lives again and he's back to Isabelle this, and Isabelle that." I growled. "He blamed me for you leaving. Isn't that some shit? I mean, I know it was true." I paused. "At that moment that was when I realized there would never be an 'us'. So I left. And well…" I laughed. "…you can guess what pretty much happened to me."

_Tada!_

I reached behind my back and pulled out the dagger from the band of my jeans.

She gasped, "N-"

I began stabbing her, "I'm sorry but you have to feel what I've felt. What I had to go through before becoming this…this…this _monster_." I cried. _I'm sorry._ "I cant keep blaming everyone else when really it was you. Not Ryan, not Victor, it was you, its always been you." I sighed, stabbing her again, harder this time.

I knew that they were both to blame but when it came down to everything. Bella was standing right smack fucking dab in the center.

_And it has to end._

"Stop…" she gurgled as she coughed up blood.

After awhile of continually stabbing her, she just sort of gave up and laid there.

_If I knew that this was how my life would've turned out, I would've killed myself years ago. _

As a child, I use to lock myself up in the attic and dreamt of becoming a woman. I use to wear my mom's old wedding dress and imagined myself marrying a prince. I even use to pretend that my stuffed animals were my children and that I would live happily ever after.

I will admit that it was farfetched and far from the realities of this world but it was my way of finding happiness. For hours at a time I was locked up in my mind, escaping this world.

_Little did I know that the little girl standing on the other side of the mirror would grow into a monster I once feared._

"If I never met you that day at Sacred Heart, maybe I would still be human."

Just when I was about to finish what I started, I was grabbed by my neck and hair and tossed on the side. Of course that was literally an understatement given the fact that I was flown yards away.

I got back to my feet in seconds, watching Bella's _Eric_, chest popped out.

_Oh fuck! I fucking forgot about him!_

He roared with anger as he gripped a chunk of my hair that I didn't realize he had ripped off. "Come here little girl." He growled, egging me on.

I quickly patted my head and stopped when I felt the excruciating pain and uncovered flesh.

_Fucking shit!_

I had no beef with Eric, it was Bella that I was after.

_Live…or die._

It took me two seconds to make the smarter decision and run off in the opposite direction of them.

_Like hell will he kill me before I get my chance with Ryan. _I thought as I continued running at full vampire speed. _I will die another day._

* * *

**A/N: I am suffocating you with ****3 chapters in a row because I want to hurry up && get to the parts that no one has read about until now. && yes, Eric Northman is in the near future! ; (SPOILER ALERT!) If you read my previous stories, then you know that it was Lily who is to blame for his _curse_. **

__**Anyhoo, thanks again for reading! ^.^ **


	13. Southern Style

**A/N: For all you ERIC NORTHMAN fans, he finally is here! && he will be here for quite some time! :)) Anyhoo, thank you for reading!  
**

**I do not claim the rights to any of the characters from the Southern Vampire Mysteries or True Blood!**** Read, review, (or NOT!) && enjoy! ^.^**

* * *

After my first failed attempt on Bella, I realized that I really had to adjust my vantage point. I had to stop and plan every moment and include my _what ifs_. I couldn't let what happened that night happen again. So I took to the shadows and began planning my next move.

_Hopefully without anymore errors._

* * *

**Past:**

"You can put your bag in my room." Isabelle told me the moment I walked through the front door. "We'll wait for you down here."

"Hurry, I've been dying to watch this movie!" Amy groaned as she waved the case to _Interview with the Vampire _at me. "My mom will freak if she knew I got this."

I rolled my eyes as I made my way to Bella's room.

_No kidding._

* * *

I opened the door and tossed my bag in Isabelle's room without looking. Just as I turned to leave, I heard something fall.

_Damn it._

I ran into the room, checking to see what my bag hit and was semi relieved it was just her cup of pens.

"What did you do?" Amy yelled up the stairs.

"Nothing! I'll be right down!" I screamed back at her, shutting the bedroom door. "Gosh…"

I got down on my hands and knees and began picking up the pens from the floor. Then when I looked under her bed for the pens that I might've missed, I saw a large book. Curious about it, I put the pens on the floor beside me and reached for it.

I sat on the floor with my back against her bed. I placed the book in my lap and for a moment was sort of mesmerized.

_How old is this?_

The book was large and clearly very old. I believe that it was maybe made out of leather. You could see the cracks in the cover. The binding was sewn, most likely by hand. And the lettering was sort of carved or something and written in an unfamiliar language.

_Cool…_

I opened the book, starting from the middle.

"Gypsies?" I whispered to myself as I began reading.

After the first few sentences, I knew that this wasn't a fairy tale book. It was out of this world and very dark. The way that this book described the gypsies was nothing like what I saw in Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame. The more that I read, the more it made my skin crawl.

But it was interesting. They were said to be evil and vengeful creatures. It also informed me on how to trap and kill one if I ever came across one.

_Creepy-_

"Lily! Did you get lost up there or what?" Amy screamed, startling me. "Hurry up already!"

I quickly shut the book, shoving it back under the bed. I didn't even bother picking up the pens, I just ran without looking back.

"Coming!"

* * *

**Present:**

_Setting my plan into motion and starting with Eric._

It didn't take me long to find him. I figured that if I eliminated Eric out of the equation, then I would have Bella all to myself. Of course I wasn't stupid, I knew that walking into his club was suicidal. That is why I came prepared.

_And dressed to kill._

I wore the skimpiest clothes that I could find and settled for a blood red plunging v-neck mini, black fishnet stockings and matching garter, and knee high boots.

Walking stride of pride, I stepped onto the dance floor and began bumping and grinding to the beat. Seconds later I was approached by a blonde female.

"Eric wants to see you." she said. "And that's not a request." she added, nodding toward the stage.

_And he must think he's a King sitting in his chair, overlooking his subjects._

I flashed him a grin as I followed behind her.

I immediately noticed a stripper pole on one of the platforms and bee-lined to it. But not before making a stop at the DJ station, requesting Alannah Myles "Black Velvet". Something about the beat and her raspy voice mirrored my core and made me want to test drive that pole.

_Maybe even bringing Eric to his knees._

Walking up to the platform as my body swayed to the beat, I noticed there was a large mirror taking up one side of the club from the floor to the ceiling. I couldn't help myself from being turned on by own reflection.

_And why not? I am fucking hot._

I crawled onto the platform, slow and smoothly like a cougar, glancing at my own reflection before whipping my hair around. I sat back on my legs, licking my right thumb as I ran it down the center of my body. In a swift movement, I jumped back onto my feet and gripped the pole.

_Gotta love being a vampire._

I began climbing the pole until I reached the ceiling, mimicking my strawberry stripper's moves from that one night in Vegas. I repositioned myself until my feet touched the ceiling. Gripping the pole with my inner thighs, I wrapped my legs around it. I dropped down, aligning my spine with the pole as my hair dangled freely. Slowly I descended down the pole using only my thighs for grip as I caressed my breasts, keeping my eyes on Eric.

Of course I had to steal a glance or two at my own reflection.

_Oh yeah, those classes might've paid off._

When I was close enough to the bottom, I hiked up my dress then placed my palms down as I flipped over, landing in split. I rubbed myself against the platform before bringing my back leg forward, rolling once over, flipping my hair in the air. I flashed Eric a grin as I slowly stood up, legs opened for a brief moment before shutting them closed.

I stood up gripping the pole, flipping my hair back as I mouthed the remaining lyrics of the chorus, "Black velvet with that slow, southern style. A new religion that'll bring ya to your knees…black velvet, if you please." Then I glanced at myself, giving my reflection a wink.

"Why are you here?" he asked me.

I turned to him with a satisfied toothy grin, "You know why I'm here _Eric_. You want me here…just as I want to be here." I said low as I caressed one of my fangs with my tongue.

He released a growl. After a moment, he sent his blonde sidekick my way.

"Follow me." she said, offering a hand. I placed my hand in hers, jumping down from the platform. "You know, if Eric doesn't want a taste, stick around. You just might be my type."

* * *

I sat on the desk, legs crossed as I waited for Eric.

_Slight change of plan?_

I know I came here to eliminate Eric out of the equation. I wasn't quite clear on how I was going to make that happen just yet given the fact that I knew better than to go against a vampire as old as he.

_I just wanted to at least get my foot in the door._

However, one thing I did know was how to get under a guys skin.

_That is something I'm definitely using to my advantage._

And sure enough, it took him about five minutes before he joined me, closing and locking the door behind him.

"Isabelle isn't here. So why are_ you_ here?" he asked, voice strong.

I cracked a smile, "I was told that I had to _check in_."

He slowly approached, hands in his pockets, "And its no coincidence you end up in my club months after your attempted hit on Bella?"

_Oh honey, this is much more than a coincidence..._

I placed my feet on the floor and slid off of his desk. "If you want me to leave, just say those words and I'll be gone." I whispered. "As if I was never even here." I frowned as I pouted my lips.

He looked down at me, brow raised. "Leave…" he said. "…for now."

I nodded, running my hand down his arm as I walked around him. "You know, sometimes the only way to beat desire…" I paused, glancing back at him, locking gazes. "…is just to give in." I said, rephrasing something I heard awhile back.

_Baited._

I unlocked the door but paused as Eric told me, "Let Pam know that I'm tasting first."

I grinned widely as I walked out knowing that he was officially a pawn on my chessboard.

_Whatever you say...Eric._


	14. Green Light

**A/N: I do not claim the rights to any of the characters from the Southern Vampire Mysteries or True Blood. Read, review, && enjoy! ^.^**

* * *

_**Lily's POV:**_

It took him a few nights before he requested my presence. His errand boy said _dinner_. I'm guessing that's code for fucking so I slipped on a copper colored tank, black paneled mini skirt that sits low on my hipbones, and my black crystallized six inch stilettos.

_No bra and definitely no need for panties._

I walked into the club and was surprised to find it empty all except an older blonde, whom I recognized the other night as a waitress.

"You must be Lily." she said in a thick southern accent. "He said you know where his office at."

I nodded, making my way down the hall, to his office.

I walked in slowly, keeping my eyes on Eric who was seated behind his desk. I closed the door with my hip as I tossed my clutch onto the leather couch on my right. I lift the hem of my tank and exposed my flat stomach just before lifting it up and over my head. I added it to the couch. Then I placed both my hands on the side of my hips and slipped my mini skirt down my thighs as it dropped to my feet. I stepped out of it, standing there, locking gazes.

"I know you want me Mr. Northman." I whispered, flashing him my fangs. "But what will Isabelle think?"

_Like I really give a fuck?_

He cleared his throat as he placed both hands on the top of his desk, standing to his feet. "What she doesn't know wont hurt her." he said as he straightened up, hands falling to his sides.

_And there's the green light that I've been waiting for._

I walked around his desk with nothing but my stilettos on. I gripped the band of his pants and partially removed his belt as my tongue traced his lips.

"Fuck me." I said as I turned around, bent over his desk, propping myself up on my elbows.

He let out a low growl as he slapped my ass. He pushed down on my back, forcing my breasts to rest on his desk as he used his right foot to spread my legs even wider.

Seconds after the sound of his pants hitting the floor, he was in me, fucking me harder than I've ever been fucked before. He gripped my shoulders, thrusting in deep. For a moment, he released me, spreading my cheeks, making sure he was in as deep as he was allowed. Then with one hand he wrapped his hand around my hair and pulled as he rode me like an untamed lion.

I slammed my palms hard onto the desk as I screamed out my moans, gripping anything. Frustrated, I swept his desk clean with one hand and gripped the corners. I could feel the wood cracking under my grip so I pushed the desk forward.

Caught by surprised, Eric pulled out. Within seconds, I flipped him onto his desk and jumped on riding him like an angry bull. I found his hands and pinned them above his head as I bit into him.

Displeased with my unauthorized feeding, we took flight into the air as he pinned me to the ceiling with me on the bottom but technically still on top.

_He has power…hmm._

I pulled away, sucking in an unnecessary breath as I felt the ceiling begin to crack beneath me. He continued his speeding thrusts as he slammed me against the ceiling. Then seconds later, it was his turn to bite into me, feeding viciously from my left shoulder.

I moaned loudly as I pushed him off of me. He landed back on his desk but rolled off before I could fall onto him. My fall is what caused his desk to finally fall to pieces. Of course that didn't hurt as much as one would think.

My eyes darted for him as I stood up quickly, stalking him as if he was my prey. I pinned him against his office door as I forced my tongue down his throat. I gripped his hair within my fingers. He flipped me over, pinning me against the door as he lift me up. Continuing where we had left off, he rammed me wildly as he broke away from my lips to fill his mouth with my breast. I clawed at his back and shoulders as I arched my back.

"Harder!" I screamed as I bit into his chest.

With pain brought pleasure and moans of satisfaction. Its as if we sang a song, so hard and edgy, and yet somewhat bittersweet. We were alike in many ways and yet somehow different. I was fire to his ice, he was rain to my heat wave and the music we were making was warming him to the core.

_Like yin and yang, opposites and yet balanced halves of one whole.  
_

Then he squeezed my ass and went even faster and harder.

I never knew that sex between two vampires was going to be like this. Its as if time had slowed down for us as we tangled within one another. Our sexual appetite was a bottomless pit, a hall with no end, a battery that just keeps going and going.

_Or maybe he was making up for lost time just as I. _

It would be hours before we finally reached the top and when we did, I felt my insides fill with Eric. He quenched that thirst that I've been searching for, longing for.

_He is the cure to my dry spell._

* * *

I collapsed against the cool leather couch as he stood up, slipping into his jeans.

"Is this is what its like?" I asked with the biggest smile on my face as I let out a breath.

He looked at me sideways, "What is what like?"

I ran a hand down the center of my body, "Sex with a vampire."

He turned to me, brow raised. "This was your first?" he asked, surprised.

I winked at him, "You sound surprised."

He stepped back and leaned against the wall as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Letting out a short laugh, he said, "Not even with your maker?"

I licked my lips, "One of the many pleasures he deprived me of."

The door to his office swung open as his blonde sidekick walked in, mentally taking note of the damage before her.

"What the fuck happened here?" she groaned just before her eyes landed on me. "Oh…" her lips curved into a grin as she waved her pointer to me. "…you, my baby vamp, give meaning when men call women tornadoes." She turned to Eric, "Your flight to New York is in two hours. Did you forget about that charity event?"

"Fuck." he growled.

_Yup, I got to him. Time to go._

I stood up, gathering my things. "See you around." I said as I walked into the hall, tossing my clutch to the side.

I dusted off my skirt before slipping it back on. Then I grabbed my top and did the same.

"You know, that little number you did the other night?" the blonde sidekick asked as she walked pass me.

I nodded, "Yeah, what about it?"

"Was you a stripper before being turned? Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against a woman making money." she said, winking at me. "But I was thinking that since New Years Eve is about a month and a half away, you could stick around and entertain the crowd."

I bent over and grabbed my clutch, "I was never a stripper, I just took a few stripper classes and visited a few strip clubs." I paused. "And as far as entertainment goes…" I shrugged, "…I'll think about it."

_So not happening. _

"Think about this then…" she whispered, "…maybe you could teach me how to work those thighs some time."

I smiled, "Are you hitting on me?"

"Pam!" Eric called from his office.

She sighed, "Be right there." she said, walking back towards the office.

I began walking down the hall, shaking my head.

_Vampires are the horniest creatures alive._ I thought to myself just as I stepped through the archway and nearly ran into a dark haired man.

He watched me with curious eyes, "Excuse me."

I walked pass him, "You're excused." then I paused. "Hey, is there a bathroom that I can use or something?"

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" he asked.

I put a hand on my hip, "Well I could ask you the same thing." I said, rolling my eyes. "Didn't you hear? I'm the new stripper for New Years Eve."

"Eric hired a stripper?" he laughed softly, "There's a restroom down that other hall."

"Thanks." I said, turning on heel.

_Stripper my ass._

* * *

_**Eric's POV:**_

The door to my office swung open as Pam walked in, mentally taking note of the damage before her.

"What the fuck happened here?" she groaned just before her eyes landed on Lily. "Oh…" she paused, grinning as she waved her pointer. "…you, my baby vamp, give meaning when men call women tornadoes." Then she turned to me, "Your flight to New York is in two hours. Did you forget about that charity event?"

_How did I forget about that?_

"Fuck." I growled as I searched the office for my clothes.

_Bella._

"See you around." I heard Lily say.

"What the fuck happened? Were you fighting or fucking?" Pam asked, curious. "Or both?"

I pushed whatever remained of my desk aside and found my shirt, "Pam, I thought I told you to call me?" I groaned as I slipped on my shirt.

She sat on the leather couch and inhaled, "I did call you. Several times." she grinned at me. Then she bent over and lift half of my phone. "Well…this explains it." she chuckled.

I closed my eyes for a few seconds, "This charity is only one night. I can do without a phone for a few hours."

"Wow, she was that good?"

"Is there a car waiting?" I asked, ignoring her question.

"As you requested." she said, standing to her feet. "I'll be right back." and walked out of my office.

I took that moment to lean against the wall and release a sigh that I've been holding in.

_What the fuck was that?_

Almost two months ago Lily had tried to kill Bella. A woman that I somewhat feel attached to. And now she's here, fucking me?

_Why?_

"-visited a few strip clubs." Lily paused. "And as far as entertainment goes…" A short pause. "…I'll think about it."

_What is Pam up to?_

"Think about this then…" Pam whispered, "…maybe you could teach me how to work those thighs some time."

"Are you hitting on me?"

_She wastes no time._

"Pam!" I called.

She sighed, "Be right there."

When she appeared in the doorway, I shook my head.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't know about you but I really enjoyed that show she had put on the other night. It would be a shame if we pass up the opportunity to liven up New Years Eve."

"She's mine." I warned her. Then I took a really good look around my office. _Damn it._ "When I return make sure everything is replaced and back to the way it was."

She laughed, "So you could repeat that sexual fiasco with her?"

"Pam."

Bill walked in with raised brows, "Did that stripper you hired do all this?"

"Stripper? What stripper?"

Pam grinned up at him, "Yes."

"The blonde vampire I just met. She said she's the new stripper you hired."

I rolled my eyes, "She's not a stripper, just crazy."

"They fucked." Pam added.

Bill glanced around the room, "Well that explains the smell."

"If you need to reach me, you know where to call." I said to them just before walking out.

* * *

_**Lily's POV:**_

I waited another week before being certain that I had Eric exactly where I wanted him. I wanted to be sure that this sexual relationship we were building would later serve purpose.

_All in good timing._

"I'm leaving tomorrow evening." I told him as I buttoned up my dress.

"Where?"

I glanced back at him and smiled, "Nowhere important."

"If its Bella you seek, I suggest you erase that thought from your mind."

_If only you knew._

I sat back on the bed, "Don't worry. I don't know where she is and I don't intend to find her." I told him. "Ever."

_She will be the one coming to me._

"I find it hard to believe that you've had a sudden change of heart. It wasn't not too long ago that you nearly killed her."

I tucked my left leg under me as I turned to fully face him, "I don't expect you to believe anything that I have to say. I don't deserve your trust." I said, soft and sweet. "But since we are on the subject, why do you seem to find any reason to bring her up?"

He shrugged, "We aren't discussing this." he half growled as he stood up, sheet falling from his naked body. "When should I be expecting your return?"

I looked down at my hands, "Who said that I was even coming back?" I asked, turning to him.

His head half turned my way as he slipped his jeans over his bare ass. "You came to town only to seek to bed me?"

"Why not? This wouldn't be the first time I shared any man with Bella."

Within seconds, he had his hands around my throat as he pinned me against the bed where moments earlier we were as one.

"Is this another scheme to get back at her?" he growled as he flashed me his fangs.

"Maybe I like the thrill of knowing my life is at your mercy and that at any moment you could end it." I whispered. "If you doubt me so, kill me. Months ago you wouldn't have hesitated. Don't you dare stop now."

I wasn't trying to gain his pity. I meant every word. Call me suicidal, call me crazy, but this isn't the life that I imagined for myself. I cant see myself still on this earth, out living everyone I knew, everyone I loved.

_Not even my son._

I couldn't even bare the thought of having my son seeing me like this.

_I will walk into the sun before seeing the fear in his eyes._

He laughed at me, "Is this what you want? You want me to kill you?" he asked as he released me. He stood up, shaking his head, "You're still young with room to grow."

I looked up at the ceiling. "You would be doing me a huge favor."

"Don't think I've gone soft just because we fucked. But you wont die at my hands unless you attempt another-"

I rolled off the bed, "I don't intend to kill her, don't worry. That train has long since passed." I said, glaring out of the window.

_Why kill her? Her suffering will end with her last breath._

"I must ask you this. Why?"

I glanced back at him, "Why what?"

"Bella never explained to me why you were trying to kill her."

I laughed softly, "I tried to kill her because if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be this…" I said, placing a hand on my chest. "…I wouldn't be standing here, with you, craving for blood." I whispered, turning back to the window. "And my last sunset wouldn't have such tainted memories."

"There's more to being a vampire than just killing."

I scoffed, "Its different for you. You don't know the plans that I've made, the dreams-"

"Adapt, just as I've done for over a thousand years."

My head whirled in his direction, "You've been a vampire for over a thousand years?" I asked, in awe.

"You sound surprised." he stated as he slowly paced the room.

"Of course." Just then his phone ringed. I nodded, "Don't explain, just go."

I was use to this sort of thing with vampires. I mean my vampire daddy had a similar routine.

"I want to see you before you leave tomorrow evening." he said just before disappearing into the night with the rest of his clothes in hand.

* * *

I knew that choosing to leave a night earlier was the smarter thing to do. If Eric had found out what it was that I was truly planning, he would probably stop me.

_And like hell will Ryan slip through my fingers once again._


	15. The Book

**A/N: I do not claim the rights to any of the characters from the Southern Vampires Mysteries or True Blood! Read, review, && enjoy! ^.^**

* * *

When I returned to Vegas, the first thing I did was see Victor. Of course he wasn't home so I waited on the front porch for him until he returned.

"Well this is a surprise." Victor said as he came to a slow stop before me. "Why have you returned?"

"I need your help with something."

He chuckled as he shook his head, "I'm not helping you. I've done enough by cleaning up your fucking mess!"

I stood up immediately, "What mess?"

He took a few steps closer, "That mess you left when you slaughtered the man who raped you! _That_ mess!"

I growled, "What? _Why_ would you do that? I cant believe you!"

"Your name was written all over it Lily. No human could do such damage in a short amount of time. It would be days before the AVL catch wind of it and they would force me to capture you." he said, shaking his head. "And a high school? How fucking twisted are you?"

I felt fire warming my insides, "Obviously twisted enough to get _your_ attention."

He sighed. "Where have you been?"

I rolled my eyes as I crossed my arms under my breasts, "Like you give a shit. You practically threw me out not that long ago."

With vampire speed, he was in my face, inhaling deeply. "You reek of the swamp." he spat, "But smart choice for laying low."

"I wasn't laying low. I was dipping my feet in vampire waters." I whispered.

"With who?" he asked with narrowed eyes.

I stepped back, "Oh don't sound so fucking possessive. You have no right."

He grabbed me by my arm as he dragged me through the front door, slamming it shut behind us. Then he pushed me into the living room.

"I asked you a question." he growled.

I looked around before taking a seat. "You probably don't know him-"

"Who?" he demanded.

_Is this jealousy I sense?_

"Well, if you insist…" I sighed, leaning into the chair, "…Eric Northman."

For a moment, his eyes went blank. Then when he returned, he rubbed the back of his neck.

"You're not going back there. You need to stay far away-"

I laughed so hard, I almost peed. _If I was human, that is. _"Aren't you forgetting something? You freed me. You have no hold over me anymore."

"I turned you, I can-"

I stood up, walking towards him, "Then do it. Slit my throat, throw me to the dogs. I don't care." I said. "I dare you _daddy_."

His face twisted before turning his back to me, "Why did you come back?"

I smiled, "I need your help with something."

It was his turn to laugh. "With what?"

I began pacing the room, "I want to you to teach me how to turn a human into a vampire."

He chuckled, "For what?"

I stared at Victor as I smiled, "I want him to suffer just as I."

He shook his head, "I'm not helping you do that. Your revenge should've ended with your rapist."

"But it didn't. I think this guy deserves to suffer far worse than me for all the shit that I went through in my human life. He doesn't deserve to live if I cant."

"You are living." Victor said to me.

I scoffed, "This isn't what I call _living_! I am the walking dead! I cant get married-"

"Yet."

I rolled my eyes, "I cant have kids-"

"Why the hell would you want to deal with that shit anyway?"

"I'm a woman!" I cried. "I have needs too!"

"And by turning this man you speak of, you will be depriving him of such human luxuries, is that it?" he asked in a mocking tone. I just nodded. "No."

"Why wont you help me?" I cried.

He looked at me with a grim glare, "My title wont allow me to make such foolish choices." he said. "I will give you a large amount of money if you promise me that you will never return to this city."

I frowned at him, "You're paying me off?" I asked, surprised and somewhat hurt at such a request.

He nodded as he walked down the hall to his room. A minute later he returned with a small duffle bag in hand.

"There is about a hundred thous-"

I shook my head, "No."

He growled, "You cant come back here. If you do, the King will order me to kill you." he said. "Especially after what you're planning to do."

"I have done nothing wrong!"

"Yet!" he screamed. "You murdered a man in a way I haven't heard of in a long time. And here you are again with intent to turn another man vampire for your own personal gain. If the King finds out-"

I quickly grabbed the bag, "Whatever." I groaned as I turned and walked out of his house.

_I will find a way._

* * *

I had a few questions that needed answers but no one willing to help me.

_That book. _I realized just as I was about to drive back to Shreveport. _Vampires must have a chapter in there too._

I guess stumbling across that book years ago was by no means a coincidence.

_But that would make Bella apart of this supernatural world too._

As I made my way to San Francisco, assuming she had left that book at her fathers, I tried to go as far back as I could. I was curious as to what the hell she was. I mean, it would make sense otherwise why would she have such a book.

_Or maybe she comes from a family of hunters…_

* * *

I spent the past two nights, watching Isabelle's father from the top of an empty house, across of his. He lived his life the way he lived it all these years. Work and home, same routine five days of the week. Nothing alarming, just plain human living just as my own father.

_Unless he doesn't know of this book…_

I frowned as I tried to think.

_Amy!_

"Didn't your parents teach you its rude to play with your food?" I heard Eric say from behind.

_What the hell…?_

I slowly turned around, surprised to see Eric. "My parents had very little to do with my upbringing." I stated. "Or more along the lines my mother." I told him, cocking my head to the side. "You're following me now?"

_Guess he's into me a little more than I expected._

"Keeping tabs...besides, I just so happen to be in town." he said just before nodding towards Isabelle's childhood home. "Do you know what he is?"

My brows twitched as I pointed at the house he was referring to. "Why, you know him?"

He grinned at me, "I don't know him personally, I just know what he is."

My eyes lit up, "You mean he's something more than just human?" I asked, curiously.

"Cant you smell him? Isn't there something different about him compared to…_other_ humans?"

I never really noticed it at the time. One windy night, as he made his way into his home, I caught a hint of something mouthwatering. I just didn't connect the dots to him. I mean, it was windy, it could've came from anyone.

"I smelt something pleasant. I just…" I trailed off.

He licked his lips, "Its his Fae blood that you smell. And his is strong."

"Fae? What is that?"

"Fairies." he said with a smile as if he was reliving an old memory.

"Fairies? Really? Like Tinkerbell?" I squealed. "I love her!"

For a moment, he stared down at me blankly.

_Did I say something wrong?_

Then he half shook his head as he continued. "Have you ever tasted virgin blood?" he asked.

I shook my head, "No…" I said softly. "Wait, does it matter whether or not its male or female? Or are we talking about virgins in general?"

"Now I remember why I don't care to socialize with newborns." he said, slightly irritated.

I inhaled deeply, "I didn't ask for your company old man." I groaned bitterly as I crossed my arms under my breasts.

"Well its about time someone gives you a few tips on being a vampire…_little _girl." he said with a smirk.

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"I've been watching you ever since you stepped foot in Las Vegas. Its just so happen that I was there as well." he said. "You really need to take a few classes on stealth."

"How did you hear about me?"

"Your face is known amongst some of the younger vampires as the psycho bitch who's trying to send all vampires to meet the sun."

My eyes widened, "What the-"

"I heard about your little murder rampage you went on. It puts a damper on those vampires that's trying to mainstream."

_So Victor was telling me the truth._

"Fuck."

"Here's a free tip my young one, try your best not to get on as many vampire's bad sides as possible. You will be dead by the next sunrise." he said. "And by leaving a trail of human bodies behind, you're only putting a bull's-eye on your own back."

I turned back around, staring at Isaac's house. "So I cant hurt him either?"

"Who, the Fae?" he chuckled, "He smells almost pure. There's a slight chance that after you've drained him, he will turn to fairy dust."

I closed my eyes, feeling the weight of rules from all sides weighing heavy on my brain.

"I'm confused. I thought you said that by leaving a trail of bodies-"

"_Human_ bodies." he corrected.

"Just humans?" I asked. "So the other creatures are fair game?"

"In a way, yes. But be careful with who's toes you step on, human or not." he warned.

"Can I influence him?" I asked in reference to Isabelle's father.

"The Fae are different. Their mind is their power, a link connecting their race." he said, kneeling beside me. "Imagine their minds as a life crystal, the heart of the Fae lineage. It is very difficult to subdue, almost impossible."

"Almost…but not entirely impossible." I said.

He shook his head, "For a weak mind, there is always a loophole."

"How do you know all this?"

He smiled, "I had my fair share of them to know enough."

I watched him, seeing what Isabelle might've saw in him. Not only was he drop dead gorgeous, an animal in the sack, and a knight in shining armor. Beneath this playboy exterior was a man with a soul.

_Even though at times he acts as if he has no humanity left in him._

I smiled at him, "Thank you." And just like clock work, his cell phone rings. I sighed, "See you back in Shreveport."

He stood up straight, "Of course."

* * *

I waited ten minutes after Eric had left before I made my way to Isaac's front door. For a moment, I hesitated, unsure about what it was that I was going to do.

_What do you got to lose?_

I knocked on the front door immediately before I changed my mind and stepped down as I waited for him to answer.

A minute later, Isaac opened the front door, "Hi." he said happily just as he always did growing up. "Wait, you shouldn't be here…"

I inhaled deeply as I closed my eyes, imagining his blood on my tongue. "Fae…" I whispered unexpectedly.

"What did you say?" he asked, suddenly nervous.

My eyes fluttered open, "I know what you are…_Fae_."

He stepped back, further into the house, horrified.

"Does she know?" he asked immediately.

I half cocked my head to the side as my mind began working overtime.

_Daddy has been keeping secrets?_ I realized. _Maybe I was wrong, maybe this book belongs to him and not her. Hiding it under his daughters bed is less suspicious, come to think of it._ I thought to myself. _Naughty, naughty Fae._

I couldn't help but play on the fact that I knew that it was I who had the upper hand.

"She will never find out if I get what I want." I told him.

He blinked rapidly as he watched me, "I don't have money-"

"I want something, a book. Its hiding under her bed."

He shook his head, "I cant give you that."

"Then I guess I will have to bargain with her for it…"

He placed his hands on his hips. "You cant have the book. But you can have a look…" he said immediately. "And that's it."

_Well…this is easier than I thought._

I smiled, satisfied with the deal. "Fine, just a peak."

* * *

Five minutes later, Isaac returned with the big book in his hands.

"Just so you know, I'm never inviting you in." he said to me, "You or your friend."

I scoffed, "Well how the fuck you expect me to look at it?" _And what friend? _Then it hit me a moment after, causing me to turn around. "Eric."

_Fuck._

"You're here for a book?" he asked. "I thought you were going to feed from him."

I shrugged, "There's something useful in that book that I need." I said as I turned back around. "Now, I ask you again. How the fuck you expect me to look at it?"

"I will lay it on the floor and turn the pages for you." he offered.

I heard Eric's phone ring again. "I have to go." he said, slightly irritated.

_Maybe with himself?_

At that point, I was glad Eric finally left_ again_. Apart of me wondered why he even came back.

_Maybe he thought we could share?_

"You're fucking paranoid. I'm not going to hurt you." I snickered, ignoring Eric's last words. "But whatever. Stay on that side of the threshold, I don't care…" I said with the roll of my eyes as I sat in front of the doorway.

"This book is bewitched. It cant leave this house without her." he said as he placed the book down flat, before me. "Just let me know what it is that you're looking for."

_Bewitched…?_

"Vampires." I said.

"But aren't you-"

"Just find it." I growled.

He kneeled down as he flipped through the pages. "Is there anything specific-"

I looked up at him, "Like I really would tell you?" I snidely said. "You will be the first to run back to her, alerting her of my intentions."

"It would speed the process."

I shook my head, "Not happening pops. Just lay the book flat and I'll let you know when to turn the page."

* * *

It took me less than five minutes to read the chapter on vampires. Most of it I already knew or have learned along the way. It gave me little knowledge on how to make a vampire though. However, I did learn some things I knew that would help me in the near future.

_Weaknesses._

Then I had him turn to the chapter on gypsies.

_This could come in handy with the second phase of my plan._

"You shouldn't mess with them. They tend to be very vengeful people." he warned me.

I stood up, cracking the kink in my neck, "I guess we have something in common then." I said.

_Guess we will get along just fine._

"Are we done here?" he asked afterward.

I smiled at him just as I reached pass the threshold and grabbed a hold of the page. "For insurance." I said.

"What-"

But before he could finish that sentence, I felt a strong force push me out as the page was torn from the book. Isaac slammed the book shut and jumped back. A second later, the door slammed as I was literally thrown clear across the street, landing on the neighbor's lawn.

I rested my head against the grass as I laughed ecstatically, gripping the page within my hand.

"What the fuck was that?" I asked myself with amazement at such power.


	16. Dungeon Master

******A/N: I do not claim the rights to any of the characters from the Southern Vampires Mysteries or True Blood! Read, review, && enjoy! ^.^**

* * *

I figured that after what happened with Isabelle's father, maybe I should lay low for another week or so. It would be foolish of me to attempt to complete my initial plan without knowing if Eric was sent on me.

_That would explain why he was there to begin with._ I thought. _Unless I could get him to help me…_

If Victor wouldn't help me, maybe Eric could. He already knew the shorter version from Bella. And given the fact that he is ridiculously attached to her for reasons unknown, it would come to no surprise if he offers his services either.

_For Bella, of course._

I didn't expect Eric to be in my motel bed the night that I returned to Shreveport. But he was and more than ready to get this fuck party going.

"I have to know first." he said. "Why are you really here?"

_Oh my god, we are really doing this again?_

"I was only breezing through town. Fucking you has been a bonus." I told him. "Although I wasn't sure you would since it wasn't too long ago when you held part of my scalp in your hands."

He shrugged, "You were trying to kill Bella." he reminded me. "I'll tell you right now, I don't trust you."

I placed my bags on the side of the bed, "Then why are you still fucking me? And why are you following me around."

"You're dangerous, there's no denying that." he said plainly. "I have to be sure you're not here for her."

I rolled my eyes, "Seriously? I don't know where the bitch is." I groaned.

"And the Fae?"

I shrugged, "I needed some information and believe me, it has nothing to do with her."

_At least this time, it really isn't._

He smiled at me, "You see, things like that has me questioning what it is that we're doing."

I placed my hands on my hips, "Can you stop being a girl for like five minutes please?" I asked him, irritated and almost turned off. "Stop over thinking this. I just want to fuck you. I don't want to talk about the fairy man, or Bella, or anything that doesn't involve your dick inside of me." I said. "I came prepared with a bag of tricks." I told Eric.

"Bag of tricks?" he asked, now curious.

I nodded, "I made a stop at Eve's Fantasy before coming here hoping to get my fuck on." I sighed dramatically.

He watched me carefully. I'm guessing he's trying to see whether or not I was lying.

_When it comes to fucking, this is no joke._

"We will finish this conversation."

I smiled, glad that I'm actually making progress. He may not trust me one hundred percent and I don't expect him to. I just need a small window of opportunity. And at the rate that we're going, its only a matter of time.

"Okay..." I pouted, "...but I need a room to set up before you can test drive it."

He propped himself up on his elbow, "There's a room beneath my club…" he suggested. "…I will have Pam give you the tour tonight." he said. Then he leaned in close, "Just a tour."

I grinned at him, "Don't worry, I'm love dick."

* * *

"So Eric told me to take you down to the basement." she sighed, clearly uninterested compared to the last time we spoke. "Its behind that door." she nodded to the side of her as she glanced at her nails. "I'm sure you're a big girl, you can take it from here?"

_What a bitch._ I thought to myself as I watched her, nodding slowly. _I can see why Eric keeps her around._

"Have you been a vampire long?" I asked, curious.

"I guess you could say that." She shrugged, "Listen, as exciting as this topic may sound, I do have things that needs to get done. Thanks for this girly chat. It was…" she paused to think. "…_nice_."

I bent down and grabbed the handle to my duffle bag, "Of course."

_For someone who wears way too much pink, she isn't as friendly as one would think. _I thought to myself as I made my way down to the basement.

* * *

I glanced around the room and found it slightly eerie. Maybe it was the fact that although someone had washed this entire room clean with bleach, I could still smell a slight trace of blood somewhere.

_So is this where he tortures his victims? _I shrugged off the feeling. _Or maybe he likes to get a little rough?_

It took me less than ten minutes to put together the sex swing and stand. Another ten to set up the strobe lights. And another fifteen to gussy up as I slipped on my two piece Frisky Maid costume, ultra sheer thigh highs with a peacock feather detail top, and a pair of black sexy ribbon lace up four and a half inch stilettos.

_Who says I cant have a little fun while weaving this spider web of mines?_ I asked myself as I slipped over a black trench style coat and tied the belt. _Its really just fuel to the fire._

* * *

As I made my way down the hall to the center of the club, the music pulsed throughout my body. For a moment I closed my eyes and let the pulse take over as I swayed to the music.

Seconds later, an unfamiliar touch was on my hips. My eyes fluttered open as an overpowering drive to rip someone's throat out took over, causing me to turn around within his grasp.

"Whoa…" he chuckled as he took a step back, hands up. "…its okay baby."

I closed the gap between me and this wannabe gothic redneck, grabbing a tight grip on his dick.

"I'm no ones _baby_." I growled as I flashed him my fangs. "I call the shots, got it?" I warned him.

He nodded furiously, "I'm so-sorry." he stammered.

"Fuck off." I hissed as I pushed him away from me.

_What the fuck, do I have the words "Touch me" stamped on the back of my head or what?_ I thought annoyed at the fact that some men _and_ women just don't know how to keep their hands to themselves.

I made my way to the bar, "Hey, where can I get something real to drink around here?" I asked the bartender who, by the sound of her heartbeat, is a human.

_Really? A human working for vampires?_

Vampires hadn't quite _mainstreamed _(is how Eric put it) in California as they do here. So this is something different to see, cohabitation like this. They don't have a club that caters to vampires _yet_. In fact, it is almost rare to walk pass one on the streets.

_I guess the people of California aren't too welcoming as they are in Las Vegas. _

Not too long ago they came out into the open and it caused an uproar all across the world. Some countries were accepting, but many weren't. They went to the extremes of casting vampires out and those who remained back was forced to meet the sun.

_Fucked up, right?_

Same goes for America as well. Some of the states, Utah in particular, (the _Mormon_ state) has rejected vampires in its entirety. They claim its ungodly and what not. But I find it hard to swallow when they promote bigamy.

_Come on now, God made Adam and Eve. Not Adam, Eve, _and_ her five sisters._

She glanced around and smiled, "Take your pick."

I looked at her as if she was crazy. "Yeah right." I laughed. "Seriously?"

_Is this what Victor referred to when he said humans will drop like flies just to be my course for the evening?_

She frowned at me, "Unless you want some True Blood?" she asked cautiously, "What type you into?" she asked just before straightening up.

"Send one of the girls downstairs." Eric ordered her from behind me.

She nodded, "Yes Master Eric."

I turned around on the barstool as I crossed my legs, "Master?" I playfully mocked. "Is this some sort of power trip?" I asked him as I stood up, breasts brushing against his chest.

He clenched his jaw, "Your dinner is waiting for you." he said.

My eyes fell to his lips, "I thought you knew, I always have my dessert first." I whispered seductively as I ran a finger down his chest.

Then I turned on heel and walked away, hips swaying to the music.

* * *

I unwrapped the coat and tossed it on the rail as I made my way down the stairs.

"Wow…kinky." the young girl said with wanting eyes.

I smiled at her, "Sorry honey, this show isn't for you."

"Oh…that's too bad." she pouted.

"I don't want to ruin this outfit just yet so lets keep this clean." I told her as I grabbed a hold of her wrist.

"Whatever you say boss lady…" she paused, "…but if you don't mind, I prefer a place less visible."

I released her wrist and watched as she pulled down her strapless dress, exposing her perfectly _large _breasts.

I hesitated, "You want me to feed from your boobs?" I asked.

Feeding from a woman didn't bother me as much as feeding from silicone tits. I couldn't help but imagine biting into it. The thought of it popping literally turned my stomach.

_Ick._

"Well…yeah. There is always…" she hiked up her dress and stroked her inner thigh. "…many prefers-"

I let out a short laugh, "Yeah, no." I cringed at the thought. "But I have to ask…are they real?"

"These bad girls?" she laughed. "No…my boyfriend bought them last year. It was a Christmas present."

I watched her with raised brows, "I'm new at this whole vampire thing…but aren't you scared someone might pop those or something?"

She smiled at me sweetly, "I never had a problem-"

"Leave us." Eric ordered her from behind.

The girl quickly fixed her clothes before taking the stairs back up to the club.

I slowly turned around, "I was planning on eating her by the way."

He shrugged, slowly approaching me with hands in his pockets. "I remember hearing you say that you prefer desert first."

I nodded, "Right…" I paused, turning my back to him as I fumbled through my bag of tricks. "…I did say that."

When I found what it was that I was looking for, I stood up, holding it behind my back.

"What do we have here?" he asked, glancing around and resting his eyes on the sex swing.

"Its an adult playground." I told him, slowly closing the gap between us. "I want to play a little game with you…"

He watched me. "What kind of game?"

I unzipped the black leather hood and lift it to his face, "You will be the dungeon master…" I said, slipping the hood over his head, then pulling the zipper down to the nape of his neck. "…and I will be your naughty maid."

I went back to the duffel bag to retrieve the collar with nipple clamps, skull engraved paddle, and a leather flogger. Then I handed the paddle and flogger to him.

"Sex games?"

I grinned up at him, "You can call it that. But…" I paused, fastening the collar around his neck. "…I like to think of this as just _sex_."

"If I'm the dungeon master, why do I have on the collar?"

I pulled his dress shirt open, snapping the buttons off in the process. "I find the clamps strangely arousing. I figured you'd do too."

The moment I attached the nipple clamps to Eric, he threw his head back and growled.

"Turn around." he ordered, tossing the paddle in one hand and whipping the flogger in the air.

I bit my lip, turning around just as he demanded. "Yes…dungeon master." I whispered, slowly bending over in front of him.

As the last word lingered within my mouth, the paddle collided with my ass.

"You like that?" he growled as he whipped my back with the flogger.

I nodded, "Harder." I moaned.

Eric hit me with the paddle on my ass again, this time harder than the last.

_Oh my…_

"You forgot to say _Dungeon Master_." he said with another spank and whip.

"Yes, dungeon master."

"Swing, now!" he ordered.

I straightened up and walked over to the sex swing. When I turned around to get on, I noticed that Eric was now completely naked with nothing but the hood and collar.

_Now that's sexy._

Eric positioned himself between my legs as his gaze lingered. Then before another moment passed, he gripped the back of my knees and pulled me to him, becoming one with me.

I will admit that although I never tried these sex games as a human, I often wondered what it was like. At some point, I wish I had at least tried this once before.

_This puts a whole new twist on intimacy._

I wrapped my hands around the collar's chain and growled, "Harder!"

Eric growled as he slammed into me, picking up the pace. Then with one hand, he ripped off the clamp from his nipple. He pulled down my top, tearing it to shreds as he latched the clamps onto my nipples.

My fingers dug into his arms as I released my satisfaction.

"Eric, we have a slight problem. Witches-" Pam called down as she switched on the light. Her face lit up, a smirk smeared across her face. "Well this is new."

He growled, pulling out from me, "Get out!" he bellowed, tearing the hood off and throwing it up at her.

Pam turned slowly before walking through the door. "Have fun…"

I sighed, "Should-"

He slipped on his pants, "I would ask for you to stay but I have a feeling this _problem_ will take awhile otherwise Pam wouldn't have bothered me."

_Damn it! And I was just starting to have fun!_

I nodded, "You know where to find me." I told him, slipping off of the swing.

"We will finish this." he said as he began dressing.

I walked up the stairs, slipping into my coat, "Yes…_dungeon master_."

Of course later on that night, he made sure he came to my room and finished exactly what we started.

_This time with no interruptions, just sex games. _

* * *

"You ever wish that there was a way to erase your memories?" I asked Eric one night after our sexual encounter. "Never mind, you don't have to answer that."

I was only curious. I mean he was a really old vampire, I know he has a lifetime of memories, some of which he probably wish he could forget.

_Unless that's just my humanity talking…_

He slipped into his jeans, "Do you?" he asked, after awhile, turning around to face me.

_Every damn day._

I ran my hand over the side of the bed where he laid minutes before and nodded. "I wish there were things from my human life that I could forget…" I paused. "…and left forever lost to my past."

Although what I was saying had some truth to it, I was _opening_ up to him with hopes that he will do the same.

_Come on._ I mentally begged, hoping he will catch the bait.

He frowned at me and after a moment, he turned back around, gazing out the window.

"Yes." he said. "There are things that I've done in my past that I would rather forget." he paused. "A few people too."

_Could it be?_

"Isabelle?" I tried.

He released a low growl, glancing back at me. "We aren't talking about her." he warned me.

Then without another word, he dressed and left me in his dust.

_Great._ I thought as I rolled onto my back. _But I'm making progress._

* * *

The next night, I figured I might try something that I always wanted to do but was too chicken shit to even attempt.

_Having sex on a motorcycle._

"Are you busy?" I asked Eric, taking a seat on his leather couch.

He glanced up from his computer with a raised brow. "You know, with you coming around this often, others are starting to think that we have something brewing."

I half smiled at him as I stood to my feet. "Point taken." I said, fixing my mini skirt. "I'll throw these _others_ off and find me someone else to fuck." I told him as I saluted him, leaving him in his office.

On my way out, I ran into the dark haired vampire I met weeks before.

"Is Eric-" he began with a thick southern accent.

I gently grabbed his arm, "Dance with me." I said, dragging him along.

"I don't dance…to this music."

I shrugged, "Just put your body against mine and follow me." I told him, glancing behind. "Its just like fucking. Nothing really to it."

"Bill." I heard Eric call, causing my new friend to stop me.

"Another time." he said to me when I turned around to see what was the problem now. "I'm not that good anyway."

I smiled at him, "Which? Dancing or fucking?" I asked as I released his arm.

He laughed softly as he walked away.

Eric stepped into the hall and waited until after the other vampire went into his office.

"What are you doing?"

_I smell jealousy._

He may not be madly in love with me but that didn't mean that he liked sharing me with anyone. Another human, maybe. But when it comes to other vampires, that is where a line must be drawn, I'm guessing.

_Daddy wasn't too pleased when he heard I've been fucking another vamp either._

With vampire speed, I closed the gap between us, laying a kiss on his neck.

"Eric…this is just sex. Nothing more." I whispered. "I think we've just about reached our limit."

"We are done when I say we are." he grunted. "And don't ever insult me by fucking Bill."

_Okay…maybe I was wrong, this is an ego challenge between vampires._

I laughed at that, "It was just a dance. Besides, I didn't realize that you two were friends." I said, stepping back as I sneaked a glance at Bill who smiled softly as he shook his head. "I guess this is goodbye then." I said to Eric.

_For now._

* * *

For the next few hours, I danced with a few humans. One in particular I felt attached to. Something about him reminded me of an old fling or something.

I took him with me to the bathroom and had a major makeout session before feeding from him.

"Matt?" I heard a female call out as the doors to the stalls open, one by one. "Are you in here?"

"That's just my sister." he whispered to me. "I'm fine." he yelled out to her.

"Where the hell are you?"

I stepped away from him as I retracted my fangs.

_Something about her voice sounds so damn…familiar?_

He groaned as he unlocked the stall and stepped out, "I'm fine. Go back to the hotel without me."

I wiped my mouth, "No, you should go with your sister."

His sister peered into the stall, "Oh my god, it is you isn't it?" she shrieked as she pushed her brother aside. "You're a vampire now."

I stared at her, "Congratulations Einstein."

She laughed out loud as she slapped herself, "Wait until Heather hears about this."

_Heather?_

"Daph, shut up. Get out of here!" he groaned.

So it wasn't a coincidence I ended up in the arms of my lip locking pal. What attracted me to him was the same thing that attracted me to him when I was only eleven years old.

_Minus the fangs, of course._

"Daphne?" I grinned at her, "I would have never guessed."

She chuckled, "You look _different_." she gasped softly. "Matthew knew it was you, but I couldn't believe it. I mean-"

My eyes found Matthew's and for a moment I was pulled back in time.

* * *

**Past:**

Amy, Bella, and I were invited to Daphne's twelfth birthday party. We weren't exactly friends, more like classmates. But our parents knew each other so we were forced to pretend we liked each other even though we walked in different crowds.

_It's a social thing._

To get the party started, Heather suggested that we play Spin the Bottle. And of course, when the bottle landed on me, I chose a dare.

_I hope I wont regret what's coming next._

"Five minutes in the coat closet with Daphne's brother." Heather said with an evil smirk.

Matthew laughed as he shook his head, "No ways, shes too young for me."

Daphne turned to him with piercing eyes, "If you don't, I will tell mommy and daddy what you like to do every night to Marilynn Monroe's poster."

"Shut up."

I turned to Amy and Bella for help.

_Help me!_

"I never kissed anyone before." I whispered in their ears.

"Well, he's almost three years older…just let him-" Amy began.

"Lily, are you chickening out?" Heather asked with the girliest laugh ever.

_Yes._

I stood up, "Nope." I said, grabbing Matt's hand and lead him to the closet.

"We don't have to-" he began as soon as the door closed.

I covered his mouth with my hand, "I never did this before. Did you?"

He half laughed, "Yeah…" he paused. "…I could teach you."

_Aw crap._

I gulped, slowly nodding. "Okay…"

* * *

**Present:**

"-from what I read in the papers, you were dead."

"Shut up already." Matt told her.

But as usual, she ignored him and continued her rambling. "I remember the last time I saw you, it was your thirteenth birthday party. After my mom found out about that possession fiasco, we packed up and fled, leaving everything behind." she shook her head, "By the way, what happened-"

_Oh my god, she just doesn't shut up does she?_

I gently grabbed a hold of her chin and glamoured her, "Daphne, you didn't see me here. Got it?" I received a stiff nod. "And you will never return after tonight."

"What are you-"

I turned and captured Matt's gaze, "Matthew, my sugar lips. You don't recognize me. You never saw me here either. You will leave here and never look back. You will never want the company of any female vampires either."

And then I walked out of the bathroom. Sure, I could've drained both of them dry, or at least Daphne. But I literally had a much bigger fish to fry and wasting valuable time on her wasn't worth it.

* * *

"Listen, I'm leaving town for a few days." I told Eric when I entered his office. "Please, don't follow me. I need some time to…" I looked at my nails, "…think."

_And slip away for a few days from my past._

Pam's face brightened with a smirk, "Where are you planning on going?" she asked. "Just curious." she whispered, leaning in.

"I figured that I might try New Orleans." I said after a moment. "I never been there. I always wanted to know what it would be like to flash my tits on Mardi Gras."

That brought laughter out from Pam as she turned to Eric to take in his reaction.

"That is so human of you." she chuckled.

"And you decided this in a matter of hours?" Eric asked as he glanced up from his new computer, slightly cocking his head to the side. "Might I suggest you check in with the Queen?"

I scoffed, "For what?"

"You're on her territory." was all he said.

I shrugged, "Yeah, yeah. Whatever." I groaned, walking back out from his office. "Laters...dungeon master." I added just for the hell of it.

_Queen my ass. Who the fuck she think she is? Queen Elizabeth?_ I chuckled lightly to myself. _Ha! Yeah right!_


	17. Common Ground

**A/N: Read, review, && enjoy! ^_^**

* * *

I didn't flee Shreveport to get away from Eric. True, his slight rejection has made me steer off course a bit. But after running into Matt and his fucking sister unexpectedly, I had to hide out.

_Who knows who else from my past I might run into._

I don't know why, but I can't help but feel ashamed having old friends or acquaintances see me as this vampire. I was the outgoing girl with a real future ahead of herself. I could easily make friends and was always the center of attention.

_With many male suitors to prove it._

But the look in Daphne's eyes, it wasn't of fear or lust but rather of pity. She pitied me because of what became of me, of what I, as a woman, can no longer give a man. And yet she mocked me too. She couldn't wait to go back home and gossip about poor vampire Lily.

_Fuck her. Maybe I am better off dead._

But aside from that, I was actually planning a last minute trip to New Orleans. At the time, I was hoping to have a motorcycle fuck with Eric all the way here. But plans changed. So instead of calling it off entirely, I decided to visit at least once before I died.

_Died _again_ is actually the proper way to put it._

As a human, I had many wishes. One of them was to come to New Orleans and dip my feet in the Cajun swamps. I wanted to be apart of the Mardi Gras festivals and earn beads the traditional way.

_Flashing the girls of course._

I wanted, for a week, to actually live. I wanted to experience this culture. I wanted to taste their food, watch the performers, listen to the sweet music that echoed the French Quarter and dance like no one was watching.

_And no one is going to stop me…not even being this vampire._

I know my end is near. I can feel it. I can almost see the Reaper himself. I can almost hear his faint whispers calling to me. I can see the dark shadows that's cast upon the buildings.

_Especially knowing my plan will soon be in effect draws my end even closer…_

I almost died at my last attempt while harming Bella. There wasn't any reason to doubt the same thing might come to terms once again even though I had slightly changed course on my road to revenge.

_Living with pain will never be over until her last breath._

It could be days, weeks, months, or even years before she drew her last breath. Knowing Bella would live with the pain for the rest of her life was satisfying enough for me.

_At least then I will know my work here is officially done._

"Looking for something?" asked a man stepping out from the shadows in a hooded cape.

He was tall, but from the way the cape fell over his shoulders, I could tell he wasn't that big. There was no face, just a voice.

"Not you." I told him, stepping around him.

"The Queen is expecting you."

_Guess my hunch to start on Royal Street proved to be actually useful._

I stopped suddenly and slowly turned around, "Is that right?"

A car with dark tinted windows pulled along side the curb, "After you." the man under the hooded cape said to me as he held open the door to the backseat.

I shrugged, playing along as I got in. "Whatever's."

* * *

When Eric said that she was the vampire Queen, I didn't actually believe she lived like a real Queen and in a palace.

_A star quality Queen._

Paparazzi gathered around, lights flashing, people calling out names. It was almost like going to an awards show or something.

"The Queen has an event this evening. Might I suggest-" the man under the hooded cape began.

"I will be more than happy to volunteer my services." said a familiar stranger as she approached me, walking down the marble stones. "Surely you weren't expecting to attend tonight's gathering I take it?"

_Formal event._ I noted mentally as I observed the long beaded gown she wore. _Well...I'm definitely under dressed._

I watched the tall woman with caution. I didn't know her, I barely knew of her. I only saw her once in the arms of the Nevada King.

_The night I left. _But that didn't make us anywhere near friends, let alone acquaintances. I had to wonder why she acted as if she knew me when clearly we both know the truth. Why was she being way too nice? What does she want?

_And what the hell is she really up to?_

"Actually, I had other plans but what the hell right?" I said to her, shrugging.

"Fantastic." she smiled.

* * *

As soon as the doors behind us closed, I pinned her against the door.

"Who are you and what do you want?" I hissed. "And speak fast, choose your words carefully."

She smiled, "Catalina." she said. "And we have a common enemy."

I released her as I took a step back. "Is that so?" I scoffed. "Did Victor send you?"

She laughed, "You know, I had a feeling you were his child. But I wasn't one hundred percent sure until he tried to cover up a murder." she said to me as she ran her hands down her dress, smoothing out the creases. "You're a hard person to find." she whispered. "And by the way, its nice to finally meet you."

I frowned, "What does he want? I have nothing more to say to him."

She looked up, "Victor didn't send me. He doesn't even know we're speaking right now."

"Really?" I placed a hand on my hip, "I'm not going to be your toy if that's what you're thinking."

She shook her head, "Oh no. I think you're getting the wrong impression." she said, stepping closer as she ran her hands down her hips. "Lets just say a _psychic_ told me about you. At this moment, we are on the same level. I want something done and only you will help me get it."

I cocked a brow and laughed, "My, you are fooling yourself if you think I'm going to be your damn monkey either."

She let out a sigh, "You're looking for gypsies, are you not?" she asked me in a whisper.

I nodded slowly. "How did you-" I paused. "Your _psychic_." I concluded.

She nodded. "We're going to need each other if either of us wants to succeed." she told me. "Without me, you will fail."

I crossed my arms before me, "And just what exactly are you getting out of this?" I scoffed, "I know there is always a price to pay."

She grinned, "Just your participation, that's all."

I squinted, "Yeah right."

"I'm serious." She stepped even closer, "I know one way that could hurt _her_ more than you could ever imagine. I seen it."

I watched her, "Go on…"

"I know this old gypsy. Her granddaughter has done some work for me once before and I have to tell you, they don't disappoint."

"Mmhmm…" I nodded slowly, "I'm listening."

She glanced around before continuing. "Turning your vampire partner into an innocent guy and leading him directly into the arms of _her_ is only the beginning."

I froze, "How did you know that was what I-"

"I know for a fact that if you do exactly as you planned, it really is going to work. You can rest assured knowing you hit her below the belt with no penalties." she said quickly before I could finish.

I shook my head, feeling hesitant. "I don't know. I mean, what is really in it for you?"

She thought a moment, then shrugged, "The prophecy will be fulfilled, causing a rift between her and her previous lover."

I rolled my eyes, "Oh my fucking god!" I groaned. "You have got to be fucking kidding me!" I bellowed. "Our common fucking ground is that dick head Ryan isn't it?"

She stepped back, confused. "Ryan?" she shook her head. "No, its Isabelle."

_Isabelle? Really?_

I leaned forward with raised brows, "Wow, she fucked you over too huh?" I asked in disbelief. "Never knew she actually had it in her." I chuckled.

Catalina nodded, "In a way, yes, she has."

I smiled at her, putting forth my hand, "Deal." I said. "Give me a time and a place."

* * *

I found it fairly odd how gypsies conveniently fell into my lap. But what was slightly even more alarming was the fact that this familiar stranger, Catalina, had helped me with no strings attached. It had me wondering what she really was up to and if I could actually trust her.

_This is too good to be true…isn't it?_

"Lily?" a young woman asked, standing to her feet.

She looked about twenty five. She had dark long wavy hair and dark eyes. She was about my height but with a smaller waist. I will admit this, she was very beautiful and her porcelain skin was flawless.

"Depends." I told her. "Who's asking?"

"I go by Marilena." she told me. "And I'm not your enemy, just so that we're clear."

"Yeah, well, don't call me your friend because I already know how that shit ends."

Her lips curved upward in a smile, "You want to talk about it?"

I shrugged as I took a seat at her table. "Do I really need to explain to you why I want to get this job done?"

She shook her head as she took her seat. "No. But it could help. That way I can get the background on the subject."

I shook my head, "I don't trust that easily." I told her.

"That's fine." She smiled, "Come." she insisted as she stood up, turned around, and walked out of the bar.

_This better not be some fucking trap._

* * *

I followed Marilena down the street to a cemetery.

_You have got to be kidding me._

The last time I was in a cemetery, I beat a man to death. Before that, I had to dig myself out as my first night as a vampire. Less than an hour later, I drained a guy to death.

_I tend to have a bad record with cemeteries._

"Why am I following you here?" I asked from behind her.

She glanced back and softly chuckled, "It's a cemetery. No one living hangs out here at night." she informed me. "At least here we can all speak freely."

I frowned, "All? There's more of you?"

"Yes. Didn't Catalina tell you?" she asked, now stopping to face me. "I assumed she had told you about us."

I shrugged, "She managed to leave out the details."

After a nod, she turned around, "Vlad, Doru, come out already." she groaned. Then she faced me fully, "You know that we are gypsies right?"

"I know that much. But I'm not too familiar with the supernatural world yet so don't think I'm some kind of expert or anything."

She smiled, "Okay...lets start from the beginning." she said. "I have a gift, influence. I can enter ones mind and convince them to do anything, basically anything that has to do with the mind. I have the power to reconstruct it and bend it in my favor." she told me as she began walking up to me.

"I'm sorry, I'm not following. How will that help me?"

_I didn't even know such things even existed in reality._

"I can do something as simple as to cause one to feel different levels of pain. I can enter the mind and sift through the memories, removing and or replacing them with new ones or voided ones." she said with a smirk. "And if I want to be really bad, or if the client insists, I could also leave one in a vegetative state."

I laughed, "No way…"

"The mind is a very powerful thing and should never be taken lightly." She smiled, "I have one fine example of what I'm capable of." she paused, "One client paid me to send a group of his former classmates to commit suicide."

I laughed at the thought. "Its that easy for you?"

Out from under the trees stepped two men. Both of the opposite, one large and one not so large. I would say small but he really wasn't. Only when standing next to the larger one he appears small.

"My twin, Doru and cousin Vlad." Marilena said as they slowly approached us. "I will let them give their speech on what their abilities is since I had the floor for a good five minutes."

The smaller guy tucked his hands behind him as his eyes swept over me, "I'll make this short and sweet." he said, glancing at Marilena. "Because we are twins…"

_I guess I can see the similarities._

"Two halves of one soul." Marilena added.

They may not look exactly alike, with Marilena and her dark hair and her twin with dirty blonde. But their eyes were like looking into a mirror. Except his eyes were awkwardly spaced apart under thick eyebrows. And his nose, well...you can tell it has been broken a few too many times.

He rolled his eyes, "Yes, because we are twins, we share a similar power." he told me. "I have the power of influence as well but only when spoken."

Marilena grinned at me, "But my power is much stronger than his because I'm the first born."

_Sibling rivalry? Guess I was lucky to be an only child._

The bigger guy shook his head as he crossed his arms over his chest, "I'm just a pathfinder."

"Meaning?"

He looked like he had a few years on the twins, maybe twenty nine or so. He had clean cut, black hair with matching thick, but well groomed brows. He was a large man, wide shoulders, well defined arms. But he seemed to sort of distance himself from the twins in a way I can't quite explain.

_Maybe he wants to ride solo?_

"He can find anyone better than any hound or Supe known to man. Its his calling."

_Well that power sucks. Being a two legged dog doesn't sound that great._

"Of course when together, they make a stronger team." said an older voice from behind.

Immediately, I turned around to see an old woman approaching slowly.

"Lily, meet our great grandmother." Marilena said as she took the place beside her, holding her arm. "Catalina didn't bother-"

She shook her head, "Details is necessary. I assume that time was not on her side as she would have hoped."

"I guess not." I shrugged as I looked at the group of gypsies.

"That's okay." the old woman said softly.

They really did seem like regular people to me. If I ever saw them on the streets, I wouldn't have guessed what they were or what they were even capable of.

_I can't believe I'm actually considering this.  
_

"Okay…so how exactly are you suppose to help me?"

_Catalina better be right..._


	18. The Deal

**A/N: Thanks a bunch for reading! Read, review, && enjoy! ^_^**

* * *

_I cant believe that I'm actually agreeing to do this. _

Its one thing to get under a guys skin but to get in his head? Well damn it, that is like hitting gold. And then to shape him into the perfect man? Iron out his flaws, tweak his personality, remove unnecessary memories and even add new ones?

_Our very own Stepford husband._

* * *

After sending Vlad and Doru off to find Isabelle, I decided now was the time to set my new plan in motion. I didn't want them to bring her to me as hostage, in fact, I wanted her to come of her own _free will_. And what better way to test out their powers by showing me what they are capable of.

_And I will deal with Eric._

"I found someone who could remove my unwanted memories." I _confided _in Eric as I began to dress myself. "She said that its one hundred percent effective…"

"Is that so?"

I nodded, glancing back at him as I buttoned up my blouse. "It comes at a steep price though but anything is worth forgetting."

For a moment, he was still as the night. "Before you forget, would you care to share those memories?"

I guess I was actually caught by surprised. I didn't think that he would ever ask this of me. Not only was this personal, it was painful too. And Eric never took me as the type to wear his heart on his sleeve.

_He must have a reason to wonder…_

My head hung low as I slowly turned to face him, not looking up just yet. Apart of me didn't want to relive that night. The last time I sifted through my memories, it had set me over the edge. It took a few weeks and a close call with death before I came back.

_But if by_ opening_ up to him about my past, maybe he could begin to trust me._

I stepped back, leaning against the cheap six drawer dresser. "I don't remember how I met him, maybe that part of my brain erased itself." I whispered as my hands rested in front of me. "I remember unlocking the front door to my parent's vacation home with that guy standing right behind me." I paused, closing my eyes. "I could feel him, watching me, waiting. I could smell his musky cologne. I even remember hearing him breathing." I shivered. "It didn't take him long before he shoved me in. Everything happened so fast, I didn't even know what was happening to me until it was too late." I said. "I remember hitting the floor hard after tripping on that stupid rug my mother bought in Greece." I groaned. "And then…" I paused, trying to level my voice as I continued. "…and then I turned onto my side and I immediately felt the pain in my gut as he kicked me so hard, the breath was knocked out of me." I paused, trying to replay that last scene within my own mind. "He must've been a strong guy because I remember flying to the furthest side of the foyer and underneath this table my parents had…" I trailed off. "On that table was this ceramic bowl that I had made in the eighth grade for my dad. He used it for his keys even though it was ridiculously hideous." I said with a smile on my face. "But he loved it because it was from me." I added. "At first, I didn't know I was screaming, I mean I could hear it but it never registered to me that _that_ was my voice…" I said softly. "It took me a second longer to realize that and then I looked up. I saw him coming for me and my need to survive caused me to kick him in his knee. I got up as fast as I could and I ran. But the pain that I felt, it was overwhelming. I didn't make it far enough before he attacked me from behind, taking me back down to the floor with me beneath him." I paused. "I tried to get away. But after he laughed at me and whispered something about me being a fighter, he grabbed my hair…" I gasped lightly. "…and I remember my head being smashed against that marble floor." I said as I unintentionally placed a hand to my head, feeling the pain once again. "And he did it over and over again until I finally…"

"You don't have to-"

"I remember him throwing me onto mothers imported settee and with that fertility statue she got from the same country, he hit me over the head with it." I gulped. "I could feel him in me, hurting me." I whispered as dropped my hand and balled my hands into fists as I pressed them against my belly, "I could feel this burning feeling with the raw pain as he tore…" I couldn't say it but I continued. "…but he didn't stop there. He continued to _rape_ me, his knife entering me as well. And then…" my voice quivered. "…and then after awhile, I couldn't feel anymore pain."

For a long awkward moment, there was pure silence in the room. I turned around and finally opened my eyes and stared at my reflection. Streaks of blood stained my face.

"I really don't know what to say to that."

"Yeah…well, that is something I would rather forget." I told him as I grabbed a tissue to clean off my face. "What about you?" I asked as I looked at him through the mirror, "Is there anything that you wish that you could forget?"

He shrugged, "Someone I met before I was turned."

I turned around, "You're still in love with this woman after all these years?" I asked, amazed and sort of saddened at the thought of living forever with a broken heart. "Aren't you like really old?"

Then that reminded me about something I had planned. It wasn't something that I had even thought I would really go through with it until this very moment.

"Yes."

_Imagine living a thousand years with pain and suffering?_

"What if I promised you something…"

He looked at me, "What kind of promise."

I smiled, "What if I promised to never attempt to _kill_ Bella if you taught me how to turn someone into a vampire."

Reading and actually having guidance are two different things. The process of turning a human would be less complicated if I had someone like Eric to help me.

He cocked a brow at me, "There are rules in this _vampire_ world, as you put it." he said. "You cant just turn someone into a vampire just for the fun of it. That is your child, your responsibility. You will be liable for anything and everything that they do."

_Like I care?_

"You remember Ryan don't you?" I asked him, already knowing the answer. He simply nodded. "What if I told you the truth about what really went down?" I asked, "I mean, you know, since I'm feeling like sharing tonight."

"What you have done in your past is your business, I'm not one to judge." he said, now slipping into his pants.

I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. "I met him first, a year before Bella. Long story short, he dumped me for her. But see, I was half way on the other side of the world, I didn't know she was seeing him. And when I returned to America, there he was with my friend that I've known since like forever." I groaned. "He's such an ass. Anyways, I decided to pay him back by screwing him. Bella walked in and that was the end of the era of Bella and Ryan."

"So if your intentions were to hurt him, why kill Bella? If you claim she was your friend."

I nodded, "I wanted to hurt Ryan the only way I knew how. With her dead, he would be nothing."

_Like hell am I telling him the whole truth._

Of course he didn't believe me. "And now why such a change of heart? Why turn Ryan?"

I laughed, "Why not Ryan? You said so yourself, you lived with those memories of a past love for over a thousand years. With Ryan being a vampire, he has no ending. He will have to live with the territories that comes with being a vampire."

"What exactly are you planning on doing to him?" he asked. "Just out of curiosity."

I grinned, "Something so bad that he will never be able to forgive himself."

For a moment, he watched me with extreme caution. "I'll get back to you on that."

* * *

I had a feeling Eric would come around to it eventually. It was simply only a matter of time. I knew he was infatuated with Bella and knowing this also had me assuming that he would do just about anything to protect her.

_And getting rid of Ryan might be his own personal vendetta. _

I walked into his office, closing the door behind me.

"If I agree to assist you, you will wipe your hands clean of Isabelle. No more attempts on her life in exchange for his?"

I smiled ever so sweetly, "I will cease any attempt on murdering your beloved and I will take full responsibility for him. You will have no hand in his turning whatsoever either."

He frowned as he watched me, "Fine, I will guide you. But that's it." he said lowly. "When do you want this done?"

I shrugged, "Not yet, I'm suppose to meet that woman I told you about."

He nodded, "Well, when you do decide to turn him, you will need a warehouse or even an abandoned house with a basement. You will have to sleep with him the first night-"

I shivered in disgust, "Fuck that! I'm not fucking sleeping with him."

"It's the process-"

I put my hand up, "Victor never fucked me so that is definitely not happening with that asshole." I said. "And I'm so disgusted with Ryan, I would rather-"

"Sleep, not fuck." he groaned. "And when he wakes, you will need to make sure that you have something for him to eat."

I felt my brow twitched, "Wait, you're not going to stay there with us?"

Its not like I wanted Eric there anyways. I mean, I'm not even positive Eric would even consider half the shit I was planning for my dearest Ryan. In fact, I honestly believed he would probably stop me from doing the most inhuman thing I had lying in wait.

He shook his head lightly, "No. I will only guide you through the process, after that, our deal is done."

"Sure." I mentally noted, "That's the end of the deal."

_And the beginning of the tragic end for Ryan._

"And about that woman who could remove unwanted memories?"

I nodded, "What about her?"

"I might consider it if you could provide proof."

"What kind of proof?" I asked him slowly, not quite understanding his meaning.

"Use a vampire as…" he thought a moment.

"Guinea pig?" I offered.

"Yes and maybe I'll reconsider."

I smiled, "The blonde-"

He shook his head, "No, not Pam."

I immediately put my hands up in defense, "I'll think of something then."

* * *

"Isabelle should be arriving in town soon." Vlad informed me.

"But it seems as if she was already planning on returning. There's a house in Bon Temps that she now owns and is having it decorated as we speak." Doru added.

"But I think you should know that your description is fairly off. I had to track her by scent which was slightly difficult."

I watched them, "She changed her appearance?"

They nodded, Doru more rapidly than Vlad. "She has red hair."

"She looks…like a vamper."

I sighed, "Oh, well…that shouldn't affect what we have planned." Then I turned to Marilena, "I will need you guys to find a vampire to sample your powers on."

She frowned at me, "Why?"

I smiled, "Eric will come willingly if he believes that your powers work the way that I said it does."

Marilena stepped forward, "And exactly what did you say to him?"

"You can remove unwanted memories."

She grinned at me, "You have a vampire in mind?"

_Yes…I do actually._


	19. The Turn

**A/N: Thanks for reading! :))**

**I do not claim the rights to any of the characters from the Southern Vampire Mysteries or True Blood. Read, review, && enjoy! ^_^**

* * *

I didn't think that Bella would come to town within days after the gypsies returned but she did. And when they said that she had changed her appearance, I didn't think it would be such a dramatic one. She looked nothing like the Bella I use to know.

_And she wont be the same after I'm through with her either._

I managed to remain within the shadows and out of her path just as Eric had requested. But that didn't mean the gypsies had to do the same either. In fact, I had the guys keep an eye on her while looking out for our potential guinea pig.

* * *

"Hello Ryan." I said from behind him just as he was about to get into his car.

"Lily?" he gasped, dropping his car keys. "I thought you were dead."

"Oh don't you wish." I laughed at him, "Lets go for a ride…" I said, swiftly snatching his keys from the ground. "…we have some things we need to discuss."

* * *

After dumping a bottle of Jack all over the front seat of his car, I slammed his head on the inside of the windshield which caused him to knock out. Then I drove his car over the cliff at over sixty five miles per hour.

_Faking his death was easier than I thought._

Then I drove with Ryan in the trunk back to the abandoned house just outside of Shreveport.

* * *

"Once you turn him-"

I growled, "I made my decision already so there's no convincing me otherwise." I said as I lead Eric down to the basement.

"Lily, please, let me go. My wife, she's probably worried-" Ryan began.

I flipped him off, "Oh shut the fuck up already! I heard it all before, your wife, your unborn child!" I punched him in the face, "What about me? I carried your son too!" I shrieked, "Or did you forget that?"

"Please…" he begged.

"Can we get this over with already? I'm tired of hearing him whining." Eric hissed as he leaned against the wall.

"Do what?" Ryan asked softly as his voice shivered.

I glanced back at Eric, "What do I do first?"

"Drain him." he said

Ryan stood up and freaked out, trying his best break out from his silver chains. "No!" he screamed in the highest pitch I have ever heard coming from a man's mouth.

_What the fuck did I ever see in this loser?_

Before Ryan anticipated, I leaped onto him, heels digging into his thighs as I bit into his neck, gripping his hair within my hands. After a few minutes I pulled away, taking a deep (unnecessary) breath as Ryan slowly sagged against the wall. I stepped off of him and turned to Eric for the next step.

"Another minute and it would've been too late…" Eric said sounding a little more disappointed than he should have.

I flashed him a very bloody, toothy grin, "I've been practicing, in case you were wondering."

_Believe me, drinking from him was like almost like forcing a child to eat their vegetables. Disgusting._

"Well, before you get an even bigger head, you need to give him your blood…" Eric said as he pushed himself off of the wall. "…at least before he dies."

I frowned at him as I turned my attention back to Ryan who looked like he was dead. Or close enough to it.

"How do I know when to stop?" I asked.

"When you feel yourself growing weaker with each swallow he takes, that is when you should stop him." he said as he slowly approached, "Afterward you will feel very vulnerable, fairly weakened." he told me as he held my gaze. "That is why its easier, especially for your first turn, to find an abandoned house with a basement because going to ground takes time and even more energy that you spent giving to him."

I nodded, "Well this will be my first and last, trust me." And before Eric could ask me what I meant by that, I kneeled beside Ryan, gripping his head, pulling it back. "I'm sorry…" I whispered. "…but you made me do this."

Then I bit into my wrist and almost shoved it down his throat. A part of me wanted him to choke him, to finish the job. But I knew that if I actually go through with it, he will suffer far worse than what he's going through now.

"Lily..." Eric called out to me. "Give him time."

At first he turned away slowly, trying his best not to drink my blood. It took a moment longer before he actually had enough strength to latch on. Then afterwards, he sat up straight and bit into my wrist with his human teeth, reopening the wound.

_Ow!_

I hissed and slapped him on the side of his head. "What the fuck?"

He didn't answer me, he just kept feeding from me.

_Greedy bastard._

"Don't give him too much." Eric reminded me.

"The end is the beginning of all things, suppressed and hidden, awaiting to be released through the rhythm of pain and pleasure." I repeated a quote I remember reading long ago. "But our attitude in the face of life's challenges determines our suffering or our freedom." I added.

_And soon...I will finally be free after years of suffering._

Every second that passed, I could feel myself growing tired. A very humanly gesture, I know, but I felt so fatigue, I yawned. I even felt slightly nauseous, so I bit my lip and turned my head away as I tried to concentrate on the task at hand. At some point, I could barely hear anything that Eric was saying.

_What the fuck is wrong with me?_

"I think…" I mumbled, glancing around the room, trying to find Eric. "…where are you?" I called out softly as I tried to refocus my vision.

_Oh shit._

* * *

I woke up with my head in Eric's lap.

"Where are we?" I asked, throat dry.

He looked down at me and shook his head, "You almost killed yourself while attempting a turn."

I sat up quickly, "Oh my god. Ryan?"

He nodded toward the limp body in the farther corner. "He's sleeping now."

"How long have I been out?"

"Long enough for me to cancel one of my meetings."

"Fuck." I whispered.

"I was never one for babysitting."

"Well, remember why you were doing this." I told him. "Your precious _Bella_." I said bitterly. "I think I can take it from here." I said, wobbling to my feet before giving in and using the wall to brace myself.

He was on his feet in two seconds. "Now that it's a done deal, remember to feed. You need to regain your strength for tomorrow night." he told me. "But don't panic if he doesn't wake. For some, the change takes a little longer."

"Well I'm not going to hold my breath for him. New Years Eve is in a few days and I have plans." I said plainly. "He wont die if he isn't fed right away is he?"

Eric watched me closely, "He wont die, no. But he will be very hungry." he said. "Just don't wait too long."

_He's going to be exactly where I want him to be…starving and hungry for blood._


	20. Stepford Husband

**A/N: Thanks for reading!**

**I do not claim the rights to any of the characters from the Southern Vampire Mysteries or True Blood! Read, review, && enjoy! ^_^**

* * *

Lying in the middle of my hotel bed in the dark, I played Heart's _Alone_ on repeat. It held no significance to the events that was awaiting, it was just a song that I always loved that reminded me of a time not too long ago.

Amy, Bella, and I always loved music from the 80's to early 90's. I believe Isabelle's father Isaac was the one who introduced us and we were hooked instantly. We loved a few songs older than that too, as well as some of the more dated ones.

_Rap and hip hop songs had us making our own music videos as teens. Now that I look back, its kind of embarrassing...  
_

But one of the reasons why we loved mostly the 80's was because anything that was going on in our lives, from breakups to rejections and everything in between, we could play a song from that era and it was like listening to our lives through those lyrics. It was this connection that we shared where we could relate.

_They don't make music like how they use to._

After receiving the text message that I've been waiting for, I sat on the edge of the bed as I dialed Eric's number.

"Speak fast." he demanded.

"I have a surprise for you lover. Meet me at my hotel room in ten minutes." I said as I stared at the blonde haired vampire in my reflection sitting across of me.

_For bitter or worse…_

* * *

**The Night Before:**

Taking out our frustrations at the end of the night on each other and flipping it for pleasure became our thing, so to speak. Sex between Eric and I usually included pain and blood shed. Unless we were in my room, of course, we tried to keep it civilize.

_Cant have the working staff thinking we're murdering someone every night._

I rolled off of the bed and glanced back at Eric who just laid there with his hands behind his head.

"What are your plans for the new year?" I asked as I rummaged through my suitcase for a clean change of clothes.

Its not like I actually wanted to know because I already had plans for him. I was just trying to start a conversation because the moment afterwards, it seems somewhat awkward.

You know what its like after having sex for the first time with a new partner? The moment where you're not quite sure what you should do next or even what to say? Well, try imagine having that awkward moment every time you fucked Eric.

_Maybe I could throw him a few hundred dollar bills like I did the last guy and thank him…I'm sure that will get a rise out of him.  
_

"After you've lived as long as I've, you don't really keep track of time the way humans tend to."

_What the..._

I paused, staring at the crumpled picture of my newborn son. I honestly thought that I had lost it. But to see his small face resurfaced old feelings that I tried so hard to keep hidden.

"Why do we even bother with this small talk?" I asked, shutting my suitcase closed. "Just fuck and leave. That should be the routine." I said, standing to my feet feeling somewhat _emotional_.

"Is that what you want?"

I laughed softly as I turned to face him, "Just trying to keep things simple." I said. "Small talk is really unnecessary." I told him before turning back around and entered the bathroom.

* * *

I closed the door behind me, resting my back against the door as I tried to level my emotions. Seeing his picture reminded me of what I was missing, of what I can never get back.

_Fuck!_

I was hoping that I could see Knight one last time before dying my final death. But at the way things are going, I doubt I will be able to without putting him in danger.

_And the last memory he has of me won't be of this fucking vampire.  
_

I saw him once, before I was turned. I remember seeing his smiling face as I _accidentally _bumped into his adoptive mother while strolling through the farmer's market in Paris.

_Those eyes…his eyes, they were mine._

I rubbed a hand over my face before straightening up. Then I walked over to the tub and ran a hot bath. From the other side of the bathroom door, I heard a door close. Seconds later, my phone ranged.

I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my body as I went back into the other room to answer the phone.

"Yes?"

"We have him." Marilena said.

I smiled, "You didn't hurt him right?"

"Not too much. Its not easy catching an older vampire." she told me.

"Good." I whispered. "Text me when you get through to him then."

"Okay…"

"I'll stop by afterwards."

* * *

"I know that I shouldn't have doubted your strength, but wow." I said, slightly amazed at what I had just witnessed. "I can see why Catalina praised your family."

"I think that we should have a small talk before tomorrow night." Marilena suggested as she _dismissed _the guys from the room.

From the looks on their faces, they weren't pleased. But knowing what she is capable of, I can understand why they might see her as the top dog, the leader of the pack. Going against her would be suicidal and I believe she has a little more than an ounce of insanity hidden beneath the surface.

"About what?" I asked, taking a seat on the arm of a dirty couch.

"I understand what you're going through. I've been there before." she said to me. "So lets hear it."

I laughed, "Its too long a story and I'm not in the mood." I told her. "Besides, it gets old and I'm simply tired of telling it."

The truth was I just didn't care enough anymore to tell it. My story has been told once before and that really was all that I needed to get it off my chest.

_Why burden someone with tales of a past that holds little meaning now?_

Sure, it is the heart, the root of my entire vampire existence. That is why I'm here tonight, wreaking havoc on their world.

_Well...that and Catalina. I can't take all the credit. She was the one who pointed me in the right direction, of course..._

But I've gotten to a point in my life where I feel complete now that Ryan is exactly where I want him. Don't get me wrong, I haven't gone soft. He will get _exactly_ what's coming to him. And in time, he will know what its like to walk a mile in my shoes. And eventually Bella will too.

_No amount of words can describe the feeling of a heart left broken..._

"Well…let me tell you mines then. Its very rare of me but there's something about myself that I see in you and I can't stop myself from sharing my deepest, darkest secret." she began, lowering herself on the couch. "…Doru and I aren't twins." she admitted.

I slowly turned my body to face her, "But you said-"

She smiled, "I know what I said. Its not like I admit this to just anyone you know." she said. "Everyone remembers only what I _let_ them remember."

"Who's Marlena?" I asked somewhat anxious.

"I vaguely remember our mother, let alone father. However, that isn't important." she said. "Doru, Marlena, and I are actually triplets." she paused. "Well…we _were_." she added with a smirk. "What I've said about everything else, me being the oldest, the first, that is all true." she told me. "But what no one remembers...is her _existence_. Everything about Marlena has been erased."

I couldn't stop my brow from twitching. "And why is that?" I asked, masking the sheer terror I was beginning to feel.

_I knew she was fucking crazy..._

I may have strength of ten men, I may be semi immortal, but I was no fool. I saw minutes earlier exactly what she's capable of, what she can do to a vampire.

_What she can do to me._

If you saw this too, you would be just as scared as I am right about now.

_To be erased in its entirety from the people who knew and loved you, that's torturous. _

"I had her kill herself."

_I think I would too. _

I can't even begin to imagine what its like if my father had forgotten who I was.

_To be alone and forgotten..._

Sounds like the vampire life that awaits for me after my loved ones are dead and gone.

I stood up immediately, "How?" I asked, trying not to sound surprised as I watched her carefully.

"When we were fifteen, I was the rebellious one. See, we lived in a two story apartment building. Right outside from my bedroom window, there was a ledge. Below it was a clothesline pole that I use to climb down from." she told me. For a short moment, she was lost within those pleasant memories before shaking herself out of it. "I would sneak out every night at midnight and meet up with this human I became romantically involved with. He lived right down the road from us." she stopped. "Before you ask, his name is not important anymore." she added. _Okay...I wasn't about to. _"Anyways, I didn't know at the time but he was also screwing my sister." she scoffed, shaking her head as she looked down at her hands. "I thought it was him, you know, trying to get the best of both worlds. I thought he wanted his cake and eat it too...but as I dug deep into his thoughts, deep into his mind, I was wrong. It wasn't him. It was really _her_."

"So what did you do?" I asked, curious about how she handled the situation.

_What would _I_ do?_

"I set his brain on fire."

_Fuck...me._

I shivered at the thought. "But you just said that it was your sister who-"

"I did it because he was already ruined. He had no use for me now that Marlena had already tainted him." she said in a strangely calm tone. "Now he's in some mental institution up in Maine I think. He's just a shribbled up vegetable." she said to me. "But I really should thank them. It was then that I realized what I really was capable of. If it wasn't for my misfortune, I wouldn't be as powerful as I am today." she told me. "But I made sure that I saved the best for my sister though. See, not only did she look exactly like me, but her gift was similar to my brother and mines as well." _Influence. _"Her powers could only be delivered by touch, though." she paused to spit, literally. "She poisoned _my_ human for her own pleasure and she deserved to die by her own hands."

"But wait…" I said, sitting back on the arm of the couch with my feet on the cushion as I turned to face her, "…why did she do it? Did she ever tell you?"

We all have our own reasons why we do things and I'm sure Marilena figured it out by then. But what I can't wrap my mind around is the sharing the same guy thing. Between friends isn't as gross as sharing someone with your own kin.

_Guess some people are more twisted than others._

She shrugged, "Because she knew she could, I guess." was all she said. "I dragged her down to the train tracks. For hours, I had her believing she was being burnt alive, then drowned, then falling from a twenty story burning building…every way I could think of dying, she lived it. Over and over again." she said with an evil laugh. "Then when we heard the train approaching, I had her stand in the middle of the tracks. She cried and screamed and begged. But like an idiot, she stayed right where she was." she giggled as she sat forward. "But you want to know the most hilarious part of it all?"

_This story is so far from humorous._

I gulped, "What?" I asked, anticipating the climax to her story.

"She actually thought that the train that was coming at her full speed was just another imaginary death I concocted just for her. She kept screaming at me, telling me that none of this was real…" she paused. "…but it was. That train was real and the sound of her body colliding with thousands of pounds of steel and iron was music to my ears." she told me softly.

For a long moment, I sat there in disbelief. Not only was I amazed at the power this woman had, but also the guts she needed to kill her own flesh and blood.

_Damn, she is more fucked up than me…imagine that.  
_

"Wow." I breathed.

"Your turn." she said cheerfully.

_How the fuck can I compete with that? She makes me look like an amateur.  
_

"No matter how many times this story is told, it all ends the same way." I said.

"Okay..." she paused. "So how did you feel when you found out?" she asked, referring to the whole Ryan drama.

"I wanted him dead. No…" I stopped. "…I _want_ him dead." I growled so low, I felt the floor beneath my feet rumble. "I want you to do me a favor."

"Sure." she said gleefully as she sat up straight. "What do you want?"

"How do you feel about little girls? Young girls…about three or four years old…?"

* * *

**Present:**

I pulled Eric into the darkened room, glancing back as I grinned at him.

"I promise you this will be worth it." I whispered as I flipped up the light switch to my left.

In the middle of the room sat Bill, our guinea pig. He was silvered to a chair and looked pretty beat up.

_The boys excuse for it, he denied capture._

It really wasn't necessary for the silver either since Marilena already got to him. But it was just a precaution.

_Although I think her grandmother was somewhat paranoid._

"Well, what do we have here?" Eric chuckled from beside me as he stepped closer to him. "Bill…"

I smiled as I motioned for Marilena to join us in the room.

Eric circled Bill who lifted his head to observe us.

"He's under her influence." I told him as I nodded to Marilena.

"So he would sit and bark like a trained dog if I tell him to?" Eric asked.

"I can…if you want me to." Marilena told him.

He shook his head, "No." he said as he turned back to Bill. "And this doesn't hurt him?"

I placed a hand on Eric's shoulder, "Lover, her power works on vampires. Its what you wanted right?"

He nodded as he straightened up, turning to Marilena. "I'm ready."

"Why don't you ask him something?" I suggested.

Eric turned to Bill and for a moment, his smile faded. Maybe he thought that this was a bad idea. Or maybe he knew that what he was walking into was a trap waiting to happen. You would think that , given his age, he wouldn't be as careless as he's being right about now.

_But then again, love makes us do crazy things._

"Sookie." Eric whispered.

Bill cocked a brow to him, "I don't speak your language." he said in a thick southern accent.

Eric straightened up with a big smile on his face. "To have the memory of a past love erased from the mind as if it was never there is truly a gift." he said. "Your name is Bill, you are sickly addicted to Sookie, the woman you betrayed for your Queen."

Bill looked around, confused. "You have mistaken me for someone else."

Eric chuckled, "I think I could get use to you this way." he said to Bill as he turned around. "I'm ready."

* * *

"Remove your jacket and shirt." Marilena said to Eric. "And your shoes..." she added with a wink.

I rolled my eyes as I shook my head and watched as Eric did as she asked.

"Is this necessary?" Eric asked her.

"Is it true, what they say about feet?"

"The feet thing is horse shit." I told her. "But not in his case."

She grinned at him, "No, I just wanted to see what you look like under there."

_Oh my god, hurry up already!_

"Do I need to stay here while you do this?" I asked her.

"I prefer you do. He is your lover, not mine." she said to me with a slight pout. Then she turned to Eric, straddling his lap as she placed both hands on the sides of his face. "Just remember to breath." she whispered.

_Any closer and she would be eating his face. _I thought to myself as I paced nervously, waiting.

* * *

It took ten minutes, maybe more before she spoke again.

"You done?" I asked as Eric's head low.

She nodded slowly as she stood up. "Right now he's in a temporary sleep. But when he wakes, he will be the guy many girls only dream of. In fact he will have Isabelle exactly where we want her and he doesn't even know it."

"He is going to be Bella's ideal Stepford Husband…" I said, mostly to myself.

_In love once again, so deep in love…maybe even too deep._

I already know that there are sexual chemistry between Bella and Eric, there is no denying that. But to have him be the vampire version of Ryan?

_Now that's too good to be true._


	21. The Starving Beast

**A/N: Just a friendly warning, this might be gruesome to some readers. I do want to apologize ahead of time...**

**Now without further adieu...**

**Thanks for reading! :))  
**

* * *

_**Lily's POV:**_

For the first few days, I had the gypsies lay low. There was no need to rush, after all I already paid them $50,000 to stick around a little longer just to see Bella squirm. I even had them print out _Wanted_ posters of Eric with a reward just to see what she would do.

_Much to my surprise, she wasn't as stressed as I hoped she would be._

But going to her workplace to shake her up, now that was Doru's idea. I could see that he became somewhat obsessed with her.

_Or maybe he took his job a little too seriously._

* * *

While the gypsies kept tabs on Bella, I focused my time and energy on Ryan. I figured a week was long enough for Ryan to starve. Surely he would be extremely hungry by now. I should know from experience, I was less than an hour old before I tore apart that guy.

_And that's exactly what I'm counting on._

"Are you taking me to my mommy and my daddy?" the little girl asked softly as she hugged the teddy bear I had bought her for comfort. "That's what the other lady said."

I knew that this was so fucking wrong, believe me, you don't have to tell me twice. I couldn't imagine being a parent to this little girl. Not knowing where she was, if she was safe, or if she would even come home. Watching the clock, listening for the phone to ring, maybe hoping and wishing for that knock on the door. Sitting and waiting as the time passed you by for that one moment that might take days, weeks, or even years of _not _knowing. Looking over your shoulder every time you see a dark haired little girl from the corner of your eye, hoping that she is within arms reach and that she will be home one day. But then as hope begin to falter, the sound of a knock, the sound of a phone ringing to a call that you've been longing for, waiting for..._that_ moment when the answer to the question that has been burning a hole in your mind after all this time is _finally_ answered...

_Is she still alive?_

Sadly, her parents will never know the answer to that question. They will never know what becomes of their innocent, sweet child. They will never get the peace that they will need to move on, to lay her to rest. Instead, they will die with those words on their lips because I know exactly what the future of their little girl holds. I know that their baby will _never_ go home.

I know I'm damned to hell for this. I know that I will pay for my sins. But today…_tonight_, this is all apart of something much bigger.

_Tonight, she will serve purpose._

"Actually, I'm taking you to a man who will take you home. All you have to do is ask him nicely." I told her. "Its up to him if he wants to take you home..."

* * *

I slowly walked down to the basement, leaving the girl at the top of the stairs.

Ryan was slouched against the wall. He was bleeding out from his eyes, his ears, and even his nose. Anywhere that blood could escape, it did. And somehow, it looked quite painful.

"Let me go." he said angrily but voice noticeably weakened.

I smiled as I slipped on a pair of leather gloves.

"I have a surprise for you." I said softly as I tore the silver chains off of his skin. "I'm sure you're extremely hungry by now?"

I had to keep myself from literally gagging. Even as a vampire, I still somehow found this gross. The silver chains had sort of attached itself to his skin, like it tried to heal over the chains in a way that made this process difficult. Peeling it off was not like peeling off a stuck band aid, oh no. This was far more painful than that. And unfortunately for him, there really was no way around it, so I had to rip off some of skin along with the silver.

_Eew! _I thought as he screamed out in pure agony. _Maybe next time you should learn to keep your dick to yourself. See where shit like that gets you?  
_

"Are you going to kill me?" he asked softly as he collapsed back onto the floor, energy almost fully drained. I just shrugged. "Can I have some water then? I'm thirsty." he said, slowly sitting up against the wall.

_Thirsty? _I laughed at him as I turned around and slowly walked back up the stairs. _What an idiot._

"I'm not going to kill you, stupid." I said. "And its not _water_ you're thirsty for." I told him as I glanced at the little girl at the top of the stairs.

She clutched onto the bear, clearly frozen in fear.

"Is there a monster down there?" she asked softly as her voice trembled.

I smiled at her, "I told you, I'm taking you to the man who's taking you home." I said, picking her up in my arms. "Just ask him nicely, remember?"

_If he's strong enough, that is._

When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I saw Ryan's head lift up.

"Its very dark." she cried. "I'm scared."

I placed her on the floor, "Its okay. Let me turn on the light okay?" I said, walking to the middle of the room, I pulled down on the chain. "There, is that better?"

As the dim light saturated the basement, the little girl stepped back as she gasped.

"Lily, what-"

"See that man?" I asked her, kneeling beside her. "He is the man that holds your life in his hands. No longer bound by the silver, he has a choice to keep you or to take you home."

She buried her face in the little bear, "I'm scared. I just want to go home."

I sighed as I stood up straight, "I know. Lets hope he has the strength not to _keep_ you." I said, turning to Ryan who was now on his feet. "See you later…" I winked at him as I took myself back up those stairs.

"Lily! What are you doing?" Ryan screamed from below.

I closed the door behind me.

_I'm going to hell for this._

I sat on the floor with my back against the door as the cries of the little girl echoed through the abandoned house. I covered my ears but that didn't help.

_Nothing will help, I will forever be haunted by her cries...especially Ryan._

* * *

_**Ryan's POV:**_

I felt strange, different somehow. I knew Lily had did something to me.

_Maybe she drugged me?_

I could hear her footsteps slowly approaching me. I could hear a soft heartbeat as well.

_What the hell?_ I thought as I lift my head up.

At first, I thought that it was my own. But I knew it wasn't because it was coming from the middle of the room right above me. Then I figured it was probably Lily's heartbeat. Of course, her being a vampire, she has no heart anymore.

_Someone else is here._

No, that's impossible. This must be the effects of the drug. I could never hear that good. I would have to be-

_Its my heartbeat. It has to be._ I kept telling myself. _I'm still human..._

Seconds later, the door at the top of the stairs opened. I automatically sniffed the air and caught the scent of Downey fabric softener, milk and honey, and sugar cookies.

"Its very dark." a little girl cried. "I'm scared."

_Dark? I can see fine...  
_

Lily placed her on the floor, "Its okay. Let me turn on the light okay?" she said, walking to the middle of the room, pulling down on the chain. "There, is that better?"

I didn't realize that the room was pitch black until the light was switched on. I hissed, immediately shielding my eyes. My eyes stung as the room turned bright red.

_Shit._

It took a short moment before my eyes adjusted. And there before me stood a little girl, maybe four years old holding a small brown bear. She had big brown eyes and soft black hair against her fair skin. As soon as she saw me, she gasped as she took a step back.

"Lily, what-"

"See that man?" Lily asked her, kneeling beside her. "He is the man that holds your life in his hands. No longer bound by the silver, he has a choice to keep you or to take you home."

_What?_ I thought as I stood to my feet. _Lily cant be serious._

I could hear the little girl's heartbeat quicken as she buried her face in the little bear, "I'm scared. I just want to go home."

Lily sighed as she stood up straight, "I know. Lets hope he has the strength not to _keep_ you." she told her, turning to me. "See you later…" she winked at me just before she headed back up the stairs.

"Lily! What are you doing?" I screamed after her with whatever strength I had left in me.

I didn't know why Lily chose to leave this scared little girl down here with me. How was I suppose to take her home if I didn't even know where I was? I didn't even know who she was or where she even lived.

_She's much too young to know where home is._

"Are you going to take me home?" she asked me softly as her voice cracked and quivered, tears falling from her eyes.

No longer able to hold back her fear or her tears, she began to cry. I wanted to hold her, to tell her that this was just a really bad nightmare. I wanted to take her home, to put her back into her own bed. I wanted to do and say anything just to make her stop crying.

_But that other part of me..._

I could feel heat coming off of her and with that heat was something soft and sweet, young and tender. There was something alluring about her, something that I wanted and I hated myself for it. I stepped away from her, trying my best to ignore her.

_What the fuck is wrong with me?_

My stomach began to growl...

_No...that's not my stomach. I'm the one that's growling.  
_

"Lily!" I screamed, "What did you do to me?"

The young girl dropped her bear as she slowly took several steps backward, shaking her head.

"I just want to go home. I want my mommy…" she continued crying, "Please, I want my mommy."

"You're a vampire Ryan." Lily said from behind the door. "So how does it feel now that the shoe is on the other foot?"

_Vampire?_

"You turned me into-"

She laughed, "You're now a starving beast and your hunger is for that small, helpless little girl. Just give in, sooner or later you will..."

"NO!" I bellowed so loud, the floor boards above me shook.

"I want to go home. I promise to be good!" the girl began crying even louder as she looked around. "I promise I wont be mean to my new brother. I promise I will go to sleep when daddy says to. I wont get into anymore trouble." she sobbed. "I want my mommy, please take me home to my mommy."

_I can't...I won't do it._

As I watched her, I tried to resist the urge. I knew that this was wrong. I knew that taking her life was meaningless. I would give mine in replace for hers.

_She's so young, she hasn't even had a chance to live._

But the more I tried to ignore her very presence, the more I turned away and shut my eyes, the harder it became to control myself. I was hungry and I knew at any moment I will snap. I could feel it deep within. This inner monster, growing, slowly clawing its way out.

_No!_ I mentally yelled as I continued to fight myself.

Every inch of my body was telling me to go to her, to bite her, feed from her. I could smell her, I craved her, I needed her. And after awhile, my body took over and I leaped onto her and attacked.

Like the starving beast that I was turned into, I fed from the small child so viciously, her cries filled the room. I tore her flesh from her bone, snapping her neck right off and covered my face in it. I even sucked the marrow from her bones. And when I was finished with that, I licked her blood off of the floor.

"So…how does it feel?" Lily asked. My head whirled in her direction and I immediately jumped for her. But I wasn't fast enough because she caught me by my neck as she clenched her fists, collapsing my throat. "See, the beauty and power of being _your _maker gives me the upper hand. Now I'm stronger than you since its my blood that flows through _your_ veins." she growled as she threw me to the furthest corner of the room.

_Shit._

"Is this payback for everything that I've done to you?" I asked as I stood up, wiping my face on the back of my hand. "If so, I'm sorry."

"You were never sorry for your actions Ryan. You just wanted things your way or no way at all." She laughed at me, "But guess what?" she asked sweetly.

"What?"

"Bella is playing house with vampire Eric and you bet your bottom dollar that she's riding him into sunrise!" she snickered.

I felt anger deep within my core heat up and before I knew it, my fists collided with the stone wall.

"You're lying." I growled.

She looked at me with her hands on her hips as she shook her head, "I can tell you right now, and speaking very much from experience, Eric really knows how to fuck." she exclaimed. "Trust me, you have _nothing_ on him."

"So this is payback right? Your revenge on me continues?"

She nodded, "This is only the beginning baby." she said. "But don't worry, Bella has something else coming to her as well just for taking part in your fucked up love life." she told me. "If you think that murdering that little _innocent_ girl was the end of it, then well, you have another thing coming. You have no idea how much you fucked me up." she growled right back. "You have no idea..."


	22. Unmasking The Truth

**A/N: I know that in the books, there is some kind of resentment between Victor and Eric, mostly coming off of Victor. So what if the root of it all is because of something that happened in their past? *Lily* ;**

**Anyways, I was so close to stretching out the story of her past but I decided not to simply because I am ready to put in my final chapter on this story. I am ready to begin finishing my next story already. Lol.  
**

**Thanks for reading!**

**I do not claim the rights to any of the characters from the Southern Vampire Mysteries or True Blood! Read, review, && enjoy! ^_^**

* * *

I knew by not showing up in Shreveport, there would be some questions. So I decided to drop by and show face.

_Cant have anyone spoil my plans just yet…_

I walked into the club and was almost knocked over the head with a sledge hammer.

"Pam?" I screeched, "What the fuck?"

She groaned as she dropped it by her feet, "Where the fuck have you been?"

I smiled, "I've been busy with this side project of mine. Why? What's up?" I asked, playing my role. "Is Eric here?"

She shook her head, "I get it, we live in a small enough town. But haven't you heard anything that's been going on? The posters? The disappearing vampires?"

"No?" I said slowly. "Should I have?"

"Eric is missing." she breathed out as she bent over and gripped the handle of the sledge hammer and rested it against the nearest wall.

I gasped, "Oh my god!"

"The Queen wants every vampire in Bon Temps, Shreveport and any town surrounding to flee until the situation is under control."

I stepped back, "I cant just leave. I'm in the middle of torturing-"

Before I could finish my sentence, Pam had her hands around my throat. "What did you do to Eric? Where is he?" she screamed. "And choose what you say in the next five seconds wisely because I will rip your head clean off without hesitation." she spat at me.

I gulped, believing she would. "I swear, its not what you're thinking." I said softly. "I don't have Eric."

She watched me, waiting for me to continue. "And?"

"If you don't believe me, you can come with me to the abandoned house. That is where I'm holding my ex fucking boyfriend hostage."

For a moment, she closed her eyes as she released me. "I don't have time to join your little game. Just get out of town and stay away until we receive word to return." she said, turning around and walking down the hall.

"Well what's wrong? Why do we have to leave if all we have to do is look for Eric?"

She paused halfway down the hall. "Witches." was all she said.

I frowned. "Witches?"

_What the fuck does witches have to do with anything?_

* * *

"Where's your brother?" I asked Marilena.

"Doru?" she offered, looking up from her magazine. "He's off on some side case or something."

"How long more do we have to play this cat and mouse game of yours?" Vlad asked me, sounding very much irritated.

"You will know when this ends. Trust me." I told him. "But not until I find someone that I've been searching for." I added.

"Tell me, maybe I can help." He growled, "The sooner we get this shit over with, the sooner we can get the fuck out of here."

I shook my head and flashed him a sweet smile, "Nope. This is something I'm doing on my own."

_This is something I have to do on my own if I want things to work in my favor._

* * *

I figured that if I wanted to find my fellow victim, I should at least start where I last saw him.

_New York City._

Of course I returned to Shreveport a few days later almost empty handed. Finding Cristiano was going to be harder than I imagined. Clearly he doesn't want to be found and he sure as hell isn't about to make this easy on me either.

_Unless he isn't in New York City..._

I did, however, manage to snag two more little girls for Ryan.

_I'm damned to hell for this anyways so I better make this torture worth while right...?_

* * *

"What is this I hear about a murder suicide in Fangtasia?" I asked the gypsies as soon as I returned, leaving the glamoured girls outside in the backseat of the car. "I said I didn't want anyone to get hurt."

_I did swear I wasn't going to kill anyone…personally._

Vita stepped forward, "Apparently Doru has been playing God with these humans."

"That is not why I hired you." I shook my head, "No more dead bodies, alright? Lets try to at least keep this as clean as possible." I groaned.

Marilena smiled at me, "At least his handy work has everyone believing that witches are doing this."

_Witches?_

"What witches?"

"There's a coven of witches somewhere in Shreveport."

"Is Bella apart of them?" I asked, somewhat fearful. "And exactly how big is this coven?"

I mean the last time I saw Pam, she was sort of freaked out by witches. Plus I already know about Bella and I had a taste of what she's capable of. I don't want to know what a whole coven would do to us.

_Even with these gypsies powers. _

"We paid them a visit already. They are a pretty large coven. But not that harmful." Marilena said.

"They seem to be a peaceful group. I'm guessing sort of like a support group, you could say?" Vita added. "But we wont have any problems from them."

"Well thanks so much to all of you, you ran every vampire out of town and out of the surrounding towns as well." I said. "Guess Eric is more important than I realized."

"But not for long. If we keep this up, they might send their vampire army after us." Vlad growled, "I'm sorry grandmother, but a hundred thousand isn't worth my life or any of my family."

"So, did you find who you were searching for yet?" Vita asked, partially ignoring her great grandson. "Vlad could-"

I shook my head, "Thank you, but no. I must do this on my own. I know you don't understand this yet, but in the end, you will." I told them. "I should get going though."

* * *

After almost two weeks of coming to dead ends, I decided to try going straight to Victor. I know that he paid me off to leave town and to never come back but I needed advice and he was the only vampire I knew besides Pam (who fled), that might have some insight as to finding someone who might've fallen off the face of the earth.

_Cristiano clearly doesn't want to be found otherwise he wouldn't have made this damn near impossible._

Of course, since I was heading that way, I made a short stop before continuing on my journey. I knew that by setting Ryan free now would be only the beginning for him. And what better place to start than tainting one of his humanly memories that he could ever look to for comfort.

_Hiking trips to Arizona with his buddies._

When I am officially through with him, he will never be the same.

_And that is exactly what I'm betting on._

* * *

I walked into Victor's house, closing the door behind me. Before I could even say anything, Victor wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight.

_Awkward…?_

"I was so worried for you." he whispered. "Are you okay?" he asked, now holding me at arms length.

I nodded slowly as I watched him, "I'm fine…"

He slowly nodded in rhythm with me as he dropped his arms to his side. "News about the missing vampires has reached here. I could only hope that one of them weren't you."

I shrugged, "Okay…"

_Anyways._

"I'm fine. I'm trying to find this guy though."

He growled, "You need to stay out of it. Let the authorities handle Eric-"

I shook my head, "I'm not looking for Eric..."

He waited a moment longer before continuing, "If you even think about killing another-" he warned.

I laughed at him, "I'm not going to kill him. I'm only trying to send him a message. But if I cant find him, my message wont be delivered."

"What kind of message?" He watched me for a moment. "Is he a Supe?"

"Some friendly advice and I don't really know what he is."

"What's his name then?"

"Cristiano." I said. "That's all I know."

"Lily, that isn't much to go on. You do realize that."

I sighed, "Yeah, I figured that much. I tried hunting, using the memory of his scent to track him but it will take me a lot longer than I anticipated. And I don't have that kind of time..."

He frowned, "I don't know what you're into but I want you to know that I'm glad that you've finally put your past aside and learned to live."

I looked down at my feet, "How do you know?" I asked.

_Is it that obvious?_

Its not like I turned over a brand new leaf. I sort of took my anger and revenge down a few notches. Plus it did help that I got to seek revenge on Ryan in a way that I know will be worth it in the end.

_Now I can move on._

"We may not have that strong bond that exists between maker and child but my blood still flows through you. I can feel what you're feeling and I know that you've finally coming to peace."

_Or just accepting my final death._

"Final death?" he frowned, gripping me by my arms. "What are you talking about?"

_Crap, I forgot about this shit._

"You don't understand and I don't want to waste time explaining it." I told him.

He released me as he began pacing back and forth. "Is someone after you?"

I shook my head, "No."

"Lily, I know that I haven't been there for you as much as I should've-"

I walked up to Victor, stepping in his path, "I want to thank you for making me who I am." I told him. "Without you, I might never have found that path to peace that I'm searching for."

_As twisted as it may seem._

It may seem really fucked up of me to think that seeking revenge is what will lead me down that path to peace. But after doing exactly what I've done and what I'm planning on doing, I truly do feel fulfilled. I feel as if giving Ryan everything that he deserves and more will help me rest easier at night.

_And it does._

As for Bella, her death, if I did succeed the first time, it would actually seem pointless now. She would've died not knowing what it feels like for her heart to be broken and then for someone to back up, running over her heart again, then to switch gears back into drive and run over it once more.

_I feel almost complete._

It sucks for Eric and Cristiano to get sucked into our bullshit but that's life.

_What's a tragedy without at least some casualties?_

"Lily, come sit with me." he said softly as he took a seat on the loveseat. "I think I owe you an explanation."

I couldn't help but feel somewhat amazed. I've never seen Victor this nice. Even before that blowup between us, he was always so serious.

But now, it seems like he softened a little.

_Unusual..._

I took a seat next to him, folding my right leg under me as I turned to face him.

"Explanation for what?" I asked, curious.

"You asked me about my past before…"

I nodded, excited that he was finally opening up to me.

"Yeah…"

"I told you once that you reminded me of someone I once knew long ago, someone that I couldn't save. But now...I hope that by telling you this, I can save you from whatever it is that you're running from. And that maybe if you knew what it is really like to appreciate this gift of life that has been given to you, you wouldn't waste it on such worldly things..." he said to me. "It was pretty late in the day..." he began, "...when our mother sent my older sister and I into town. Our father was returning from a trip and she needed something, wine I think." he said as he tried to remember. "My sister decided to stop in this dark alley because she wanted to pick these wild flowers for father."

"Wait, why are you telling me this now?" I half groaned.

I know that he told me why about a minute ago but I still didn't see how telling me a tale of his past would change my path.

_Especially now that I'm so close._

"Because I thought I lost you once. I might never have the chance again if you continue down the path you're on." he said to me before picking up where he left off at. "I remember her telling me that the reason why she loved these flowers was because although they were always left in the dark, they still managed to bloom beautifully." he told me as if for a moment, he was lost in time, reliving that day. "Then this man, in his late thirties I believe, he came out from the darkness as he approached us. He wasn't that tall or even that big, but his eyes…" he softly whispered. "…they were darkened with fury and lust. He grabbed my sister by her arms and pinned her against the wall as the flowers fell from her grasp. The soft petals fell to her feet just as the man crushed them." he said lowering his head. "I was a small boy, about six at the time and I tried to fight him. I bit his leg hoping that we could get away but all he did was throw me to the other side of the stone wall. Then he told me that if I behaved, he would let us go. He told me that if I cried or screamed, he would kill her." Victor said to me, fists clenched. "I didn't want him to hurt her so I sat in the dark, my head pressed hard against my eyes, hands covering my ears as he raped her. She cried and screamed and begged him to stop but nothing she said made a difference." Victor stopped, lifting his head. "When I thought it was over, I looked up and saw him. He wrapped his hands around her neck and after awhile, she just stopped crying. She stopped making this coughing sound too. She just laid there with her hair covering her face. She was so still, as if she was asleep..."

"Oh my god…"

"I never knew what death was, for I was only a little boy. So when the man finally left, I tried to wake Oriana. But no matter how hard I shook, she wouldn't…" he closed his eyes as he inhaled deeply. "That night, something about you had drawn me to you. Maybe it was your blonde hair that reminded me so much of her or maybe it was the tragedy that was about to unfold…"

"You took pity on me because I reminded you of your sister?"

I couldn't help but wonder if it was just my damn luck or what. I mean out of the many crimes that took place right here in Las Vegas, my rape is what triggered his past. My rape is what drew him back in time, a time when he was so little and helpless.

_Great._

I know that I wasn't the only blonde woman to ever be raped out here. There were probably dozens over the years. But what was it about me that fascinated him so that he chose me to become one of _them_?

He stood up quickly, head whirling in my directions, "You may resemble Oriana somewhat with your features but you are nothing like her." he growled. "I didn't take pity on you Lily. I made you because of what I saw in you, because of what you were capable of, not because I never got over the death of my sister." he said to me, eyes piercing mine. "Maybe you could fight back because you were much older than she. Or maybe you were more determined on surviving rather than giving up the way she gave up. Either way I knew you were a strong woman and if given this gift, you could be a very powerful woman in the future." he said, standing up straight.

By the sound of his voice and the words that he had left unspoken, I knew exactly what he meant when he said that I would be a very powerful woman in the future.

_As his wife._

I didn't want to speak it. Speaking it will give it power and like hell was I going to become the wife of my vampire daddy.

_Is it even legal?_

I wouldn't marry Victor.

_Ever._

Oh hell, if I had a choice, I wouldn't even marry Eric regardless of our sexual past.

_Great sex and all._

Its one thing to want a life of stability, normalcy. I wanted to be known as the soccer mom, attend PTA meetings (or whatever they're called), carpool, finger paint with the kids, bedtime stories and everything in between. I wanted all of that, to be happily married with kids.

_But that was the human me. _

Things changed for me, not only physically, but mentally as well. I'm an entirely different person now and being anyone's wife isn't anywhere in my future.

_That isn't what I want anymore. I'm no ones wife.  
_

"You were wrong about one thing." I said to him as I stood to my own feet.

"And what was that?" he asked.

I shrugged, "I've given up on life the moment I stepped foot in Las Vegas."

"I can change-"

"Victor, don't." I told him as I made my way to the door. "Thanks again. I wish that you could help me but I understand. And don't worry about it, I have a feeling I'll find him when the time is right."

_Maybe I should've stayed away just like he paid me to do. _

"Is this our goodbye?" he asked without turning around to face me.

"I think so." I whispered, knowing how this chapter to my new life will end.

"Then tell me one thing."

I glanced back at him. "What's that?"

"Eric Northman has nothing to do with this?" he asked, turning to face me.

I sighed, "Not in my final decision, no."

_But he does play a role. _I thought to myself as I closed the door behind me_. Definitely wasn't expecting that._ I mentally kissed the floor. _And now I'm back to square one._

* * *

Here I was, back on the road to nowhere, in search of a ghost, of a memory of a man that I met only once. I knew I had to find Cristiano and soon.

_Time is just wasting away. _

Its been long enough now. And from the looks of things, Bella and Eric were getting pretty cozy. If I knew Bella, I knew she would fall hard for Eric and fast.

_I mean, who wouldn't? He was like a born again virgin_...with_ feelings!_

However, I was gambling on Cristiano. I could only hope that he still harbor feelings for Isabelle. And after _confessing_ to him, well…that leaves little mystery to what comes next.

_It wouldn't hurt to try New York one more time. _I thought to myself. _But first, officially one last stop._

Daddy…

* * *

Standing outside of the window looking in at my father as he watched my birthing video brought tears to my eyes. I know that he thinks that he's alone in this world with both mother and I gone. But its time that the truth finally surfaces.

_Its time that he knows about his grandson, Knight._

* * *

**Past:**

I'm turning sixteen today. I could've had the biggest Sweet Sixteen bash with all my friends from school and it would be the talk of the town. But I wanted this to be special.

_In a few years, I will belong to another man._

So celebrating my next few years with my daddy will be memories neither of us will never forget.

"You look beautiful Lily." my father said as he kissed my forehead. "You know everyone's waiting for you?"

I smiled up at him as I nodded. "I'm almost done." I told him as I turned back to my vanity table.

I pinned a few more Baby's Breath into my side fishtail braid.

"I brought some help." he said as the door to my bedroom opened to reveal Amy and Bella in their gowns. "In case you needed any."

I looked at my father through my mirror and knew that I had made the right decision to keep today simple.

"Thank you daddy."

As soon as he left, Amy and Bella helped me into my soft pink strapless ball gown. It featured a wide waistband and a flowing A-line skirt with large hand sewn crystallized flowers.

_How sweet it is to be a girl._

* * *

"We are starting this evening with a special song that the birthday girl had requested." announced Angela, the party planner.

As the piano started playing, I walked over to my father, "Dance with me." I said.

"Anything for my little girl." he told me as he lead me to the middle of the dance floor, holding my hand in one and the other on my waist.

"I love you daddy."

* * *

**Present:**

With my face pressed against the window pane, I watched as I danced with my father to Bob Carlisle's 'Butterfly Kisses' on my sixteenth birthday.

"I'm sorry daddy." I cried softly as I glanced at my sobbing father.

I never meant to hurt him. I never wanted to see him cry. I only wanted to make him happy.

_I love him so so much... _

And then to know that all of what he's feeling is because of me and the mistakes that I've made is more than I can bear. No one deserves such heartbreak, least of all my father.

_I have to tell him…but how?_

After five minutes, I got a hold of myself and wiped my face as I walked up to the front door.

A minute later, my father answers the door.

"Don't panic, please." I begged him.

_I don't want him to have a heart attack. _

"Lily?" he cried softly. "Is it really you?" he sobbed.

I smiled, "Yes, but I don't have much time."

"I thought you were-"

"Someone turned me into a vampire." I blurted. "But that's not why I'm here." I said immediately. "I'm here because I want you to know that you're not alone."

He stepped back, "Vampire?" he whispered softly, wiping away the tears on his wet cheeks.

I nodded, "But before I was turned, I had a child. I had a son." I told him. "In Paris. I had put him up for adoption because I was embarrassed and ashamed and just plain stupid." I said to him as bloody tears fell down my own cheeks. "His name is Knight and I wanted you to know that he exists. You have a grandson out there…"

"But Lily-"

I stepped in before he could finish his sentence and hugged him, "I love you daddy."

And into the night I fled, leaving behind my father with the unmasked truth.

_You are not alone._


	23. Last Heartbeat

**A/N:**** I am very proud of myself for finishing a story that I had started, although I know it could've been way better if I had put my whole heart into it rather than feel like I just want to get this over with so I can continue Isabelle's journey, lol. In the very beginning, I was actually considering scrapping it. But I couldn't get myself to actually do it. But now**** the _end_ is finally here! :))**

**Thanks for reading! I hope for those who had stuck with this story to the very end enjoyed reading it! It means a lot to know that there are people still reading my stories! ****Read, review, && enjoy! ^_^**

* * *

_Its amazing how people go about their lives when they don't know you exist. _I thought as I followed Cristiano down the dampened street, glaring out at the pedestrians. _To them, I'm just a blur in their memory._

He turned the corner and at that moment I couldn't help but smile. I knew that he knew I was coming back. It was just a matter of time. I also knew that he knew I was following him.

_Of course, I've been anticipating that..._

I reached for the small dagger tucked in the back of my jeans as I turned the corner. I wasn't planning on using it, I just wanted it to seem as if I would.

"Why are you here?" Cristiano growled as he grabbed me from behind a lot faster than I expected.

_I really didn't see that one coming._

"Guess." I said as his silver blade pressed against the base of my throat.

_Sometimes, being a vampire sucks ass. _I thought as I tried to ignore the silver blade burning my skin.

"Why?" he asked instead.

I laughed softly, trying not to move my throat too much. "Maybe I was hoping to finish the job that I had started."

"Or is this one of Eric's schemes? Payback for me winning Isabelle?"

Even though it pained me to do this, I couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"You're funny."

He leaned in close as his breath warmed my ear, "If you wont talk, I will make you talk."

_Yeah right._

* * *

"Okay! I'll tell you!" I screamed out in pain.

I was anticipating the part where I'm captured by him and taken back to Bon Temps. What I wasn't anticipating was the part where he wanted to torture the hell out of me first. He refused to believe anything that I had said and only after silvering me with sharp objects was he convinced that I was telling the truth.

_What...the...fuck!_

Cristiano laughed at me as he placed a fire red silver poker to my cheek, "I want the truth this time."

I nodded, tears falling down the sides of my face. "I swear to you that what I told you is the truth! Bella's father isn't all human. He's Fae!" I screamed. "He's Fae, I swear he is! But Eric didn't send me!" I cried. "I came here on my own, looking for you!"

"To kill me!" he growled as he poured melted silver into my belly button.

I hissed, screaming out again. "Yes!" I cried out as I shivered. "I came here to kill you!" I blurted. "I wanted you dead! I wanted to see Bella suffer another lost of another lover!"

Although that what I was saying wasn't the truth, he wouldn't hear me either way. He honestly thought that I came here to kill him with orders from Eric, my lover.

_Do I come off that fucking crazy?_

"Is that all?" he asked, face so close to mine, he actually did scare me when I saw past him.

_Oh my god._

I shook my head, "You have to go to Bon Temps yourself if you're ever going to believe me." I practically begged.

Okay, I was hoping that he would kill me off already. You know, put me out of my misery for the final time.

_Not continue this torture session!_

"Why do I need to go to Bon Temps?"

_To tell Bella that her guest has been a very naughty boy._

"You wont believe me when you find out the truth." I said, voice quivering. "Please, just kill me now and get this over with."

He looked down at me, "Not just yet."

_Oh fuck me!_

* * *

I woke up silvered and in a darkened trunk. The last thing I remember was being forced fed a toxic combination of melted silver and blood. Why? He wanted me weakened but not entirely dead. He said it was like a roofy for vampires.

_Yeah, right. And money grows on trees._

Of course, I didn't believe him. Until now, that is.

_I guess that asshole somehow found a solution to knock me the fuck out._

About five minutes later, I heard footsteps on the gravel approaching fast. Suddenly the trunk opened as Cristiano peered down at me. For a long moment he just stared at me, or maybe through me.

I knew that he blamed me for everything. And really, I hoped he did. Maybe the more anger he has towards me, the sooner my death will be. I had nothing left to lose. My time here on earth was well spent and I was ready to leave. Of course my train ride was going straight to hell.

_But I'm so over this vampire life. Hell couldn't get any worse than living eternally here. _

Cristiano reached in, gripping me by my waist and tossed me onto the gravel.

I grinned up at him knowing that look all too well. "Rejection is painful isn't it?"

_He finally saw what I've been trying to tell him._

"How can there be rejection if the other party is oblivious of my feelings?" he asked as he reached back into the trunk.

"Let me ask you this then…" I said, waiting for his cue. "…did you honestly think that by coming here, her heart would open up to _you_?"

I didn't want to sound like a total bitch because I was in his shoes once upon a time. I know what its like and I can tell you right now, that feeling is one of the worst feelings in the world. But he had to be real with himself.

He growled, "I didn't come here expecting anything. She had to know. As her friend…" he trailed off.

What was at the tip of his tongue but he chose not to add was, _unlike you_.

"Well aren't you the knight in shining armor." I chortled. "Words of advice before I die?"

I mean, lets face it. I knew exactly what I was getting myself into. I heard rumors of what he's capable of when I was in search of him. And the few vampires that I came across that heard of him was too scared to give me even the slightest clue as to where I might find him.

_Too chicken shit actually._

They did give me a friendly warning though.

'_He's a demon. If you continue down that road, you die your final death.'_

He rolled his eyes, "Save it."

"I'm going to give it anyway." I paused, making sure I had his attention. "I've known her for a really long time. Isabelle has always been attracted to danger. Like a moth to a flame. From the time that she was conceived until now, danger was always bound to follow her…" I said, readjusting myself on the gravel. _Fuck! _I hissed, nibbling at my lip as some of my skin tore off when the silver moved. "…don't worry, she will come around. You're a demon."

"Don't remind me."

I couldn't help but smile at that. He hated being who he was just as I hated who I was turned into.

_But I was made and he was born. _

"You're a tortured soul Cristiano, something Isabelle seem to find attractive in the men following Ryan. Maybe I opened her eyes to the real world around her…"

_No, that's her own doing. _

"Anything else?" he asked impatiently.

"You're doing this for her aren't you? To protect her?" I asked slowly after a moment. I couldn't help but envy Isabelle at that moment. She had guys who truly did care for her. All I had was my daddy. _The one and only man a girl can always depend on_. "I don't know why I did all of this. I cant explain why my anger escalated after I was turned…" I paused. "…but it did. And if I could change the things that I've done…I would've let the man who raped me finish me off."

I honestly thought that I had to leave behind the life that I use to know and become this woman I need to be in order to survive in my new world. But there really wasn't anything to leave behind because everywhere I turned, everywhere I walked, my past haunted me and tormented me until I just snapped.

_There never was an escape for me. Only in death…_

"We all do things that we aren't proud of."

I scoffed, "Yeah well, for all this shit that I've done, there's no room in Heaven for someone like me." I paused. "Just know that anything anyone has ever done up until now and maybe in the future…it will never compare to the utter betrayal of a lifelong friend."

"And this is advice from that same person?" he asked me, bending low as he tossed a silver stake in his hand.

_Knowing you're going to die isn't as easy as they make it seem in movies._

"She'll come around." I said, gulping at the glimmer of the stake that caught my eye.

"You're done?"

I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath as I nodded.

_Here goes nothing._

Your life truly does flash before your eyes when you know you're about to die.

_But its not like a motion picture. _

Its just memories of the past that floods your mind as you reminisce about what was, of how it use to be. I cant help but think that this was what I was missing.

_This was what I should've seen before going postal._

Memories of my short twenty two years were filled with hide and seek, bedtime stories, mud pies and cookies, dances with daddy, birthday parties, pool parties, slumber parties, the hugs and the goodnight kisses, the tears and the laughter, and lastly the birth of my only son.

_My Knight._

Back when we were only kids, Amethyst, Isabelle, and I had made a promise to one another. When the time came, we would name our first born after each other. And although at the time, I didn't know the circumstances that were to come, I kept my promise. I named my son after Isabelle Knight regardless of the situation because deep down…she was always my friend.

_I just wish that I reminded myself that every damn day I lived my vampire life._

I felt Cristiano grip my shoulder just before plunging the stake into my heart.

For that split second, I pushed aside the pain because at that moment, I thought I felt my heart beat one last time.

"Tell her…I'm sorr-"

* * *

_Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and its only by this meeting that a new world is born._

_-Anais Nin_

* * *

**A/N: Thank you for reading! ^_^**_  
_


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